By: Wil Watson
It’s that time of the year again, folks! The top of the list is rock-solid, with a few standout films that really left an impression. However, thing drop off from there, with a string of mid-tier movies that, while enjoyable, didn’t exactly blow me away. It’s a trend that’s been plating for a while now, with streaming services churning out content, we’re seeing more decent movies, but fewer truly great ones.
Time to jump into my top picks for the best movies of the year, sink into the morass of the worst ten movies of the year, and close out with full list of every movie I saw this year ranked, with guest commentary (as always) from Ryan Garcia!
We’re going in!
Honorable Mention
HM. Poop Cruise
My take: It wasn’t my #1 movie of the year, but it was certainly Number Two! This documentary about the Carnival Cruise line that broke down and then went to…shit… was so much fun. I mean…the conditions on this ship were so bad that people were excited to be headed to Mobile, Alabama. (Hey! I can make that joke. You can’t!) Watch it with someone you love!
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Netflix
Counting Down the Top Ten
10. F1
What it’s about: An action-packed movie centered around Formula 1 racing where a might have been superstar gets one last chance at glory.
My take: A nice throwback movie that would have been more common 25 years ago. Nice to see it succeed. There was nothing uniquely special about this story. It is a bad boy sports movie we’ve all seen a dozen times. But it just freaking worked. Pair that with the incredible shots that capture the thrill of F1 racing, and you have a crowd pleaser.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Apple TV+
9. Mountainhead
What it’s about: Four tech bros have their annual retreat where they decide to interfere in global turmoil unfolding.
My take: Being in the Tech industry, I think this movie is less farcical than most people might think. And that’s a little terrifying. A pretty good take down of the people who think they are wise because they are uber-wealthy.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: HBO Max
8. Rental Family
What it’s about: An American actor in Japan joins a business that hires actors to deal with emotionally charged moments in their lives.
My take: The post-covid streaming era has really cut into the adult, art house indie type movie. Glad to see this one get some legs and carry the flag for small, beautiful filmmaking. Frasier was brilliant, and the Japanese supporting cast around him were the perfect compliment to his style.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: PVOD
7. Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery
What it’s about: A mystery thriller and sequel to Knives Out, where the views of a fire and brimstone priest clashes with the idealist leanings of the junior priest sent to help his parish.
My take: Very different than the first two movies. It was more dramatic than silly like Knives Out and Glass Onion. Like Ana de Armas in the first film, Josh O’Connor matches Daniel Craig scene for scene here. I’m still onboard for more after Rian takes a beat to do an original film.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Netflix
6. The Life of Chuck
What it’s about: The celebration of the life of a normal man, told in a manner that is anything but normal.
My take: Of the three Stephen King adaptations this year, this was by far the best. A story told in three acts, it will leave you scratching your head until it all comes together in the end. Mark Hamill gives my favorite performance of his ever where he wasn’t swinging a lightsaber. A movie that is both sad and happy at the same time. I think they call that poignant?
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Hulu / Disney +
5. Caught Stealing
What it’s about: A normal bartender was just supposed to cat sit for his nogoodnik neighbor and all hell breaks loose.
My take: It wasn’t a smash hit, but I don’t care. Austin Butler is a star. Everything about this movie just worked for me. It was tense, funny, violent, and batshit crazy. In addition to Butler, special shout out to Schreiber and D’onofrio, who were great as a pair of gangsters who will kill you and stay kosher at the same time.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: HBO Max
4. Sinners
What it’s about: The trailers left the plot very vague, so I will as well. Just know that Michael B Jordan plays twins and some eerie shit is about to go down.
My take: The first of TWO horror movies in the my top ten! What a crazy year! Sinners had a little more of an action horror vibe than Weapons, but both were great in their own ways. I was really impressed with Michael B. Jordan and the way he played two very different characters… very naturally. I think this movie should crossover from surprise hit, to Oscar contender.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: HBO Max
3. Superman
What it’s about: Starting three years into his career, James Gunn kicks off the new DCU franchise with a sunny take on superheroes.
My take: I am an unapologetic DC fan. After years of Marvel dominance, I really needed this movie to be well received, by fans and popular appeal. Well boy did James Gunn deliver. After a decade and half of superhero movies, the genre has been pretty heavily mined. Cheers to Gunn for finding a way to making it fresh, funny, without making it a farce. I really love the universe he is creating and cannot wait to see Milly Alcock as Supergirl in 2026.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: HBO Max
2. One Battle After Another
What it’s about: A retired revolutionary has to shake off the cobwebs when his long time nemesis threatens the safety of the life he’s built with his daughter.
My take: I was kind of dreading seeing this. Paul Thomas Anderson is hit or miss for me. Plus, this was a LONG freaking movie. But it was getting universal praise and Leonardo DiCaprio generally doesn’t pick bad scripts. Well, his streak continues because this was great start to finish. This movie had all the PT Anderson drama and violence, but it had a current of fun running through it that made the time fly. Sean Penn stole the show and should be a contender come Oscar time.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: PVOD
NUMBER ONE!
1. Weapons
What it’s about: One night, at exactly the same time, every kid in an elementary school class except one gets out of bed, leaves their house, and disappears.
My take: One of the most come from nowhere A movies of all time. I hadn’t even heard of it until I read an article predicting it would top the box office the weekend it opened. So despite horror being my least favorite genre, I gave it a shot. So glad I did because this movie was smart, scary, and creative. I know they will ruin the hell out of this will a dozen sequels, but this was a gem.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: HBO Max
FLUSHING OUT THE BOTTOM TEN
Poop Cruise couldn’t flush…but these movies should… so let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!
10. Fountain of Youth
What it’s about: A group of daring adventurers are in search of some magical maguffin or another. Let’s say…the Fountain of Youth.
My take: This movie made Nic Cage’s National Treasure flicks look like Indiana Jones. This was a kids movie but for kids who ate paints chips.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
9. Another Simple Favor
What it’s about: After an appeal orders a new trial, the main characters of the original film go to Italy for a big wedding. Because that’s how bail and bonds work…
My take: The original was a surprise classic. The sequel is insultingly stupid. I mean…man did they go to lengths to conjure up some hackneyed plot points to REALLY crash the landing on this one?
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
8. The Woman in Cabin 10
What it’s about: A journalist accepts an invite from a billionaire on an elite, private cruise of the nordics, and suspects foul play despite evidence to the contrary.
My take: Woman in Cabin 10 had me excited coming into the year, but ultimately fell way short. The book was great and the visual of the film matched my imagination perfectly. But that’s where it all falls apart. What could’ve been a tense, isolated thriller was ruined by forced “team-up” dynamics. The director clearly didn’t grasp the assignment and made some terrible choices. A big disappointment.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
7. Kinda Pregnant
What it’s about: A woman pretends to be pregnant and hijinks (or Amy Schumer’s best take on hijinks) ensue.
My take: Abort! Abort! This movie is a stinker, continuing Schumer’s streak of unfunny films since her hit Trainwreck. Her last movie that WASN’T a train wreck. Schumer’s humor falls flat, and the movie’s attempts at tackling serious issues like pregnancy and motherhood feel insincere.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
6. Naked Gun
What it’s about: Frank Drevin Jr picks up the torch and solves crimes in L.A.
My take: How did anyone think this is funny? I understand how a generation who think 6-7 is funny would SAY this was funny. You know? To goof on us old folks? Sadly, Ryan pretended to like it so he’d look cool, only to discover he was the butt of the joke. I laughed exactly ONE time, when the snowman sequence went haywire. Otherwise, this was a sad reminder that we no longer have the comedic genius that is Leslie Nielsen.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
5. Smurfs
What it’s about: Smurfs living their best lives.
My take: This mother smurfing movie smurfed the bed. I would rather Smurf my own Smurf while it is covered with Smurfs than Smurf this dog Smurf another Smurf.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
4. The Electric State
What it’s about: In a future world, two mismatched characters do stuff with robots.
My take: The plot meanders through a dystopian world, but the CGI is unimpressive and feels like a waste of a substantial budget. The Russo Brothers seem out of their element, struggling to bring depth or intrigue to the story. The result is a lackluster experience, with shallow characters and a disjointed narrative. The CGI spectacle falls flat, failing to impress or engage. Overall, The Electric State makes me even MORE worried about the next Avengers movie.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
3. War of the Worlds
What it’s about: Aliens attack the planet and an intelligence officer mounts a global response and does a little light Prime Day shopping at the same time.
My take: What a snooze fest! This remake of the classic Orson and HG combo would have been tired even if it was the first time it had been done. The movie follows a government surveillance expert played by Ice Cube, as he navigates an alien invasion through his computer screens. The “screenlife” format, meant to add a modern twist, feels forced and dated, like a Covid-era experiment gone wrong. The real stars (sadly) are Amazon Prime’s product placements, including a cringe-worthy drone delivery sequence that’s more advertisement than storytelling.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
2. The Minecraft Movie
What it’s about: A movie set in the universe of Minecraft. That’s as sophisticated as it gets.
My take: Wow. This made a billion dollars?!? The film follows a predictable hero’s journey narrative as our protagonist navigates a blocky world filled with pixelated creatures. I managed a chuckle when the defeated boss refused to give up, but that’s about it. To be honest, I was grateful I didn’t catch most of the inside jokes, as they seemed to only serve as a reminder of the movie’s lack of originality. I normally say this movie just isn’t for me, but this movie should be for no one.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
DEAD ASS LAST
1. Star Trek: Section 31
What it’s about: Like…a spy group from the Federation does a deal with a crime boss for… reasons…
My take: Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what was happening most of the time. The CGI was laughable, looking straight out of a mid-2000s video game. The action scenes resembled bad cutscenes, with stiff characters and awkward camera angles. The story was a jumbled mess, with plot twists coming out of left field and characters acting out of character. Overall, a disappointing addition to the Star Trek franchise.
Where You Can Watch It Right Now: Don’t
Final Thought:
Next year looks promising. Lot of good movies to look forward to like Project: Hail Mary, and The Odyssey, Supergirl. We also have some once great franchises putting out flagship movies that have me concerned, like Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Avengers: Doomsday, and Star Wars: Mandalorian and Grogu. There’s some serious red flags on movies that would have thrilled me five years ago. Check back next year to see how they stacked up!
Full List (#1-111)
ALL-TIME GREATS
No movies quite hit this category in 2025.
EXCELLENT
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 1 | Weapons | 98 | You will now be able to freak almost anyone out by running at them with your arms outstretched. | One of the most come from nowhere A movies of all time. I hadn’t even heard of it until I read an article predicting it would top the box office the weekend it opened. So despite horror being my least favorite genre, I gave it a shot. So glad I did because this movie was smart, scary, and creative. I know they will ruin the hell out of this will a dozen sequels, but this was a gem. |
| 2 | One Battle After Another | 98 | I was kind of dreading seeing this. Paul Thomas Anderson is hit or miss for me. Plus, this was a LONG freaking movie. But it was getting universal praise and Leonardo DiCaprio generally doesn’t pick bad scripts. Well, his streak continues because this was great start to finish. This movie had all the PT Anderson drama and violence, but it had a current of fun running through it that made the time fly. Sean Penn stole the show and should be a contender come Oscar time. | |
| 3 | Superman | 98 | Imagine being a person so unhappy they don’t like this movie. Sad. | I am an unapologetic DC fan. After years of Marvel dominance, I really needed this movie to be well received, by fans and popular appeal. Well boy did James Gunn deliver. After a decade and half of superhero movies, the genre has been pretty heavily mined. Cheers to Gunn for finding a way to making it fresh, funny, without making it a farce. I really love the universe he is creating and cannot wait to see Milly Alcock as Supergirl in 2026. |
| 4 | Sinners | 98 | A brilliant movie with brilliant performances, a brilliant script, one jaw-dropping musical sequence and even more outstanding ones. Anyone who doesn’t have this as the best movie of the year hates black people. | The first of TWO horror movies in the my top ten! What a crazy year! Sinners had a little more of an action horror vibe than Weapons, but both were great in their own ways. I was really impressed with Michael B. Jordan and the way he played two very different characters (twins) very naturally. I think this movie should crossover from surprise hit, to Oscar contender. |
| 5 | Caught Stealing | 98 | It wasn’t a smash hit, but I don’t care. Austin Butler is a star. Everything about this movie just worked for me. It was tense, funny, violent, and batshit crazy. In addition to Butler, special shout out to Schreiber and D’onofrio, who were great as a pair of gangsters who will kill you and stay kosher at the same time. | |
| 6 | The Life of Chuck | 97 | Of the three Stephen King adaptations this year, this was by far the best. A story told in three acts, it will leave you scratching your head until it all comes together in the end. Mark Hamill gives my favorite performance of his ever where he wasn’t swinging a lightsaber. A movie that is both sad and happy at the same time. I think they call that poignant? | |
| 7 | Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery | 96 | Very different than the first two movies. It was more dramatic than silly like Knives Out and Glass Onion. Like Ana de Armas in the first film, Josh O’Connor matches Daniel Craig scene for scene here. I’m still onboard for more after Rian takes a beat to do an original film. | |
| 8 | Rental Family | 92 | The post-covid streaming era has really cut into the adult, art house indie type movie. Glad to see this one get some legs and carry the flag for small, beautiful filmmaking. Frasier was brilliant, and the Japanese supporting cast around him were the perfect compliment to his style. | |
| 9 | Mountainhead | 89 | It’s funny because it’s true. | Being in the Tech industry, I think this movie is less farcical than most people might think. A pretty good take down of the people who think they are wise because they are uber-wealthy. |
| 10 | F1 Movie | 89 | A nice throwback movie that would have been more common 25 years ago. Nice to see it succeed. There was nothing uniquely special about this story. It is a bad boy sports movie we’ve all seen a dozen times. But it just freaking worked. Pair that with the incredible shots that capture the thrill of F1 racing, and you have a crowd pleaser. | |
| 11 | Marty Supreme | 89 | Amazingly engaging. Chalmet deserves an Oscar. But be warned, Safdie movies are not to be watched with a mild headache. Noise, screaming, blaring music creates an attack on the senses. |
STRONG ENTRIES
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 12 | Train Dreams | 89 | Slow and dry, but really captivating. GREAT cinematography. | |
| 13 | The Perfect Neighbor | 89 | Horrific to see the inevitable outcome a mile away and yet these racist cops won’t do shit to prevent it. | My best documentary of the year! The entire documentary is pulled from bodycam footage or interrogation recordings. It tells the story of a lovely neighborhood full of working class people who just want to enjoy a safe environment for their kids. It also tells the story of an entitled and anti-social malcontent who doesn’t understand the meaning of community. The clash between those two competing forces is tragic. |
| 14 | The Fantastic Four: First Steps | 89 | What the fuck does First Steps mean? It isn’t an origin story, there’s a baby that doesn’t walk, it’s one of the stupidest titles Marvel has ever used for a perfectly decent movie. | This movie suffered from Marvel fatigue because it was excellent and audiences just didn’t turn up like before. I liked every performance in the movie, I liked the story, I loved Galactus, and I LOVED the visual aesthetics of the film. Hmmm… maybe superhero fans don’t appreciate visual aesthetics. Well…if you do? They were good. |
| 15 | Thunderbolts* | 88 | People falling all over themselves to praise this movie because the villain was depression but the reality is Marvel has no idea how to write villains anymore. | I really liked this movie, but it was overshadowed by other better genre movies this year. It was smart, funny, and had heart. Pair that with some good action, I only consider this a dissapointment financially. |
| 16 | Trainwreck: Poop Cruise | 88 | There needs to be a sequel about the insane fuckers who were on this cruise and then STILL WENT ON MORE CRUISES. What else does the universe need to do to make you stop? | I will never see lasagna the same way again. |
| 17 | Hamnet | 87 | Chloe Zhao makes an impressive film, but can somebody get her a cup of coffee? She just goes so slooooooowwww! |
VERY GOOD
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 18 | John Candy: I Like Me | 87 | I liked him before I saw the doc. I like him even more after. | |
| 19 | The Roofman | 87 | The previews led you to believe this was a slapstick comedy, but it was a dramedy that had a lot of heart. | |
| 20 | Good Fortune | 87 | Only Keanu could have pulled off the character of Gabriel. | |
| 21 | Predator: Badlands | 86 | Dan Trachtenberg has revitalized the franchise by making it more science fiction and less horror monster. | |
| 22 | Predator: Killer of Killers | 86 | Blast of a film that then tries to sneak in an easter egg at the end that makes you question the whole movie. Have a little confidence in your work, you Predator writers. Your desperation isn’t cute. | Trachtenberg directed this animated anthology film, which had incredible animation, a smart script, and amazing action. |
| 23 | Wick is Pain | 86 | Another Keanu is great entry. He is so damn likable and really enjoys being John Wick. I think I liked this as much as any of the movies. | |
| 24 | The Long Walk | 86 | Can’t wait for the sequel: The Short Dock. | Another King entry. This was good, but more of a performance piece than a strong plot. Mark Hamill was also in this King flick. |
GOOD MOVIES
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 25 | The Thursday Murder Club | 86 | Because on Wednesday, we wear pink. | Comedic mystery is my jam. I would take one of these from this cast every year. It was silly, good fun. |
| 26 | Sunday Best | 86 | I always imagined Ed Sullivan as a stuffy member of the establishment rather than a man Harry Belefonte admired as ally to the civil rights movement, even at the risk of his sponsors and audience. | |
| 27 | Happy Gilmore 2 | 86 | In case you didn’t catch the references to the original film, don’t worry, YOU WILL LITERALLY BE SHOWN A FLASHBACK EVERY TIME. | One of the rare legacy dust-off movies that delivered something fun. Sure there was a lot of nostalgia, but Sandler tackeled the LIV/PGA rift to good effect. |
| 28 | Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning | 86 | It’s funny how they tried to wrap up all the storylines by introducing giant plot holes and OH YEAH NOBODY CARES. Two giant stunt sequences, the first of which was pretty lame but the second was outstanding. | It was a little of a let down from the last few, but I think Cruise leaves the franchise with a good ending. |
| 29 | Jaws @ 50 | 86 | If you ever wanted to know why Spielberg is the GOAT, this doc answers it. | |
| 30 | Nothing But a Winner | 86 | I love that the documentary doesn’t ask if Alabama had the greatest coach ever…it asks WHICH of its great coaches was the greatest ever. Roll Tide! | |
| 31 | Jay Kelly | 85 | I like Clooney. I like Sandler. A bit of a navel gazer, but a good one. | |
| 32 | Warfare | 85 | It was good, but not terribly original. | |
| 33 | Becoming Led Zeppelin | 85 | Made me appreciate a band I never had connected with before. | |
| 34 | Wicked: Part Two | 85 | Not as good as the first (my top movie last year), but a nice time at the theater. | |
| 35 | Conan O’Brien Mark Twain | 85 | Conan is a treasure and this shows why. | I haven’t been a regular late night viewer since Arsenio, but I have always been Team Coco. |
| 36 | Avatar: Fire and Ash | 85 | I actually liked this one more than the other two. Sure, the story wasn’t there same as always, but man were the action and villains great? | |
| 37 | A House of Dynamite | 85 | The only movie this year that made me feel more horror than the news | I think if I had seen this at the theater instead of Netflix, it would have been a disappointment. But for a Friday night on the couch, solid entry. |
| 38 | Bugonia | 85 | Could have been special, but didn’t stick the landing. |
DECENT FLICKS
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 39 | Nobody 2 | 85 | The family that kills together gets a sequel together. | It was exactly what the sequel needed to be. |
| 40 | Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost | 85 | A nice look at 60s/70s comedy and a pretty loving family. | |
| 41 | K-Pop: Demon Hunters | 85 | A perfectly fine film used as a delivery vehicle for the album of the year. | Like Taylor Swift, it is not for me but I respect others love it. The animation is gorgeous and the music is catchy. Felt like a KPop disney princess movie. |
| 42 | Murder in Monaco | 85 | Fun Netflix true crime doc. | |
| 43 | Frankenstein | 85 | Well crafted but how many ways can you make the same story before it gets tedious? | |
| 44 | Trainwreck: The Mayor of Mayhem | 84 | He’s just a weird dude. | |
| 45 | Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything | 84 | She led a really interesting and anxiety filled life. | |
| 46 | Untold: The Hall of Favre | 84 | He’s just a douche. | |
| 47 | Novocaine | 84 | Clever premise and likeable characters only held back by a chicken shit script too afraid to really dive into what living without pain would look like. | A fun, dumb comedy that used to be mild hits at the box office but today really just feel like Streamers. |
| 48 | Flight or Fight | 83 | I liked this more than I thought I would. | |
| 49 | The Amateur | 82 | An assassin who can’t do things the easy way. I guess calling it the Self-Sabetour would have reduced audiences. | Probably the okeyest movie of the year. |
| 50 | Trainwreck: The Astroworld Tragedy | 82 | Holy fuck what is wrong with Texas? Just how many brown people have to die from negligent (at best) behaviour by white business people before they’ll think of holding someone accountable? This movie is equally heartbreaking and infuriating when you see how Live Nation GOT AWAY with killing ten pre-teens, teenagers, and young concert-goers. More people were charged with trespassing on the concert grounds than with anything having to do with ten deaths. It’s enough to make you want to scream. Plus it had Drake. | Man, this made me made at Live Nation. They were to blame but Travis Scott took all the heat. I left the doc thinking he didn’t do ANYTHING wrong and Live Nation should have been held criminaly liable. |
| 51 | The Phoenician Scheme | 82 | I turned to my buddy Jonathan after coming out of this silly, bizarre, surreal comedy and asked “So…at this point, he’s just fucking with us, right?” Then we agreed we would be there opening night in a couple of years to see how he fucks with us next. | |
| 52 | Breakdown: 1975 | 80 | The second best thing to happen in 1975… | |
| 53 | Unknown Number: The High School Catfish | 80 | Other documentaries could learn from this one–don’t just uncover the mystery, show us what happened next! | Man…this was a shock twist. |
| 54 | The Twister: Caught in the Storm | 80 | This was a twist shock. | |
| 55 | 28 Years Later | 80 | I think I liked it about the same as the original. | |
| 56 | Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere | 80 | The most cromulent movie of the year. | |
| 57 | Being Eddie | 80 | Fun but loses points for the subject being so in charge. Eddie has a legendary resume. | |
| 58 | The Gorge | 80 | That vast, empty space between the two leads in the first act was the plot hole for the rest of the film. That’s not a gorge, that’s laziness. | Thank goodness it was a streamer. |
| 59 | Boo-Yah: A Portrait of Stuart | 80 | Sweet doc about someone I admired. | |
| 60 | The Comeback Trail | 80 | I waited years to see this long shelved comedy (OG release date was five years ago) and was expecting a trainwreck. It was a perfectly cromulent comedy with a smart performance by Tommy Lee Jones. | |
| 61 | SNL 50th Anniversary Special | 80 | Cool. | The live sketches were the worst part. Felt flat. But the produced segments (like Newman and Davidson) and the interviews/presentations saved the day. |
NOT A WASTE OF TIME
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 62 | Ruby Red Handed | 78 | A fun crime documentary with a crazy cast of characters. | |
| 63 | Paid to Play | 78 | Interesting info but a little paint by numbers. | |
| 64 | Brett Goldstein: The Second Best Night of Your Life | 78 | The best part about this show is watching Brett for an hour and remembering the best Ted Lasso moments. | He had some really funny bits, but the act was not a cohesive special. |
| 65 | The Carman Family Murders | 78 | Mediocre Netflix true crime that I will watch every time. | |
| 66 | From the World of John Wick: Ballerina | 78 | I don’t know if it’s a failure or success to come out of this spin-off saying how much of a bad-ass is John Wick. | Only saved by Keanu. Third Keanu entry! |
| 67 | The White House Effect | 78 | I don’t know if it’s a failure or success to come out of this spin-off saying how much of a bad-ass is John Wick. | A pretty conventional look at the history of global warming and climate policy. |
| 68 | The Day The Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie | 78 | This was actually a cute enough movie, but I have a soft spot for Looney Tunes. | |
| 69 | Cover-Up | 77 | Seymour Hersh is to investigative journalism what Mark Maguire was to hitting: he either hit a massive homerun or he struck out swinging. Loses points for ignoring his Bin Laden fantasy story. | |
| 70 | Trainwreck: The Cult of American Apparel | 77 | Vapid and douchey people who did vapid and douchey things. | |
| 71 | The Stringer: The Man Who Took the Photo | 77 | I left unsure what the truth was, but I felt the journalist being the subject was a weaker take on the story. | |
| 72 | A Deadly American Marriage | 77 | I don’t even remember what this movie was about. | |
| 73 | Untold: Shooting Guards | 77 | Gilbert Arenas is an ass and knows he’s an ass. But he is kind of enteraining as a heel. | |
| 74 | Captain America: Brave New World | 77 | Brave New World the novel is a brilliant piece warning readers of the impact of too much government control and a media system based on shame. Brave New World the movie was the latest MCU film to give us a totally forgettable plot and a red hulk. | This would have been a mild hit a few years ago, but I think we’ve out grown this style of superhero movie. |
| 75 | Oklahoma City Bombing: American Terror | 77 | Paint by numbers, but well painted. | |
| 76 | Devo | 77 | They were quirky and fun, but this fails my 60 Minutes documentary rule. | |
| 77 | Who Killed the Montreal Expos? | 77 | Recommended only for MLB fans. | |
| 78 | It’s Never Over, Jeff Buckley | 76 | Moderately interesting life but the people who lived to tell his story weren’t that interesting, sadly. | |
| 79 | My Father The BTK Killer | 75 | Sadly, the daughter wasn’t interesting. | |
| 80 | Con Mum | 75 | Fun little turd. |
IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 81 | Mickey 17 | 72 | I totally forgot I saw this until I went to write this entry. Like… wondering when it was getting released forgot. And I read this book first! | |
| 82 | Heads of State | 72 | It’s a pitiful world when you see an unqualified Jon Cena character play POTUS and you know he’d be better than the current one. | A dumb movie, but I laughed the whole time. |
| 83 | Trainwreck: The Real Project X | 70 | Kids are stupid. | |
| 84 | Jurassic World Rebirth | 70 | Jurrasic World movies are stupid. | |
| 85 | Now You See Me 3 | 70 | It had its moments. Some of them were even ok moments. | |
| 86 | Flight Risk | 70 | I wish I didn’t know who directed it. | |
| 87 | Pixar’s Elio | 70 | This was a Dreamworks movie that they slapped the Pixar label onto before releasing. I believe this. | |
| 88 | Anaconda | 69 | Could have been better. |
GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 89 | The Running Man | 65 | This is the first Edgar Wright movie that just wasn’t any good. That’s disappointing because I figured the studios would let him go for the jugular. It wasn’t great until the end, but man the end… | |
| 90 | Trainwreck: P.I. Moms | 65 | WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE TEENAGE RUNAWAY??? | Really brought shame to a franchise that is already shameless. |
| 91 | Karate Kid: Legends | 65 | I have so many questions about the “underground street tournament” | I now know I do not need to ever watch Cobra Kai. |
| 92 | Air Force Elite: The Thunderbirds | 63 | I respect the dedication, but if something is so inherently dangerous, and isn’t necessary, we should stop risking lives and multi-million dollar planes to wow the rubes. | |
| 93 | Back in Action | 63 | Go back to inaction, please. | I think horror might be overtaking bland action movies. And horror is my least favorite genre. |
I’M GETTING A HEADACHE
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 94 | Untold: The Liver King | 60 | This dude was weird and a douche. | |
| 95 | Titan: The OceanGate Submersible Disaster | 60 | LiveNation could learn something from OceanGate. Not how to make things safely, but to put your CEO directly in harm’s way. | I really thought they could have told this story better. |
| 96 | Heart Eyes | 57 | A dumb horror with a couple of decent moments. | |
| 97 | Love Hurts | 55 | Yeah, love hurts, but not as much as this script. | Great cast. Terrible movie. |
| 98 | Chaos: The Manson Murders | 50 | A weak and dishonest documentary by an Oscar winner. | |
| 99 | The Old Guard 2 | 50 | No wonder it was delayed so long. | |
| 100 | Tron: Ares | 50 | If this movie finally stops Jared Leto, it will all be worth it. | Pretty. Boring. Pretty boring. |
| 101 | Wolf Man | 45 | It was just such a nothing of movie. |
THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING
| RANK | MOVIE | GRADE | RYAN SAYS: | WATSON SAYS: |
| 102 | Fountain of Youth | 40 | Not as good as the original trilogy, but better than Crystal Skull and whatever 5 was supposed to be. | This movie made Nic Cage’s National Treasure flicks look like Indiana Jones. This was a kids movie but for kids who ate paints chips. |
| 103 | Another Simple Favor | 40 | You want a sequel to an amusing movie that has no chance of deliverying on the original? Amazon delivers. | The original was a surprise classic. The sequel is insultingly stupid. I mean…man did they go to lengths to conjure up some hackneyed plot points to REALLY stick the crash landing on this one. |
| 104 | The Woman in Cabin 10 | 40 | This is why I stopped taking invitations from billionaires for trips on their megayachts. | Woman in Cabin 10 had me excited coming into the year, but ultimately fell way short. The book was great and the visual of the film matched my imagination perfectly. But that’s where it all falls apart. What could’ve been a tense, isolated thriller was ruined by forced “team-up” dynamics. The director clearly didn’t grasp the assignment and made some terrible choices. A big disappointment. |
| 105 | Kinda Pregnant | 39 | Kinda awful. | This movie is a stinker, continuing Schumer’s streak of unfunny films since her hit Trainwreck. Her last movie that WASN’T a train wreck. Schumer’s humor falls flat, and the movie’s attempts at tackling serious issues like pregnancy and motherhood feel insincere. |
| 106 | The Naked Gun | 38 | Watson has forgotten how to laugh. Please watch for the upcoming Gofundme. | How did anyone think this is funny? I understand how a generation who think 6-7 is funny would SAY this was funny. You know? To goof on us old folks? Sadly, Ryan pretended to like it so he’d look cool, only to discover he was the butt of the joke. I laughed exactly ONE time, when the snowman sequence went haywire. Otherwise, this was a sad reminder that we no longer have the comedic genius that is Leslie Nielsen. |
| 107 | Smurfs | 37 | This mother smurfing movie smurfed the bed. I would rather Smurf my own Smurf while it is covered with Smurfs than Smurf this dog Smurf another Smurf. | This mother smurfing movie smurfed the bed. I would rather Smurf my own Smurf while it is covered with Smurfs than Smurf this dog Smurf another Smurf. |
| 108 | The Electric State | 35 | This movie cost $320 million. Buying every American over 18 one lottery scratcher would cost less than $260 million. And the scratchers would have given a few seconds of entertainment. | The Electric State is a disappointing, visually underwhelming sci-fi drama. The plot meanders through a dystopian world, but the CGI is unimpressive and feels like a waste of a substantial budget. The Russo Brothers seem out of their element, struggling to bring depth or intrigue to the story. The result is a lackluster experience, with shallow characters and a disjointed narrative. The CGI spectacle falls flat, failing to impress or engage. Overall, The Electric State feels like a misstep, lacking the magic that makes me even MORE worried about the next Avengers movie. |
| 109 | War of the Worlds | 33 | Need a movie where people overact in front of Zoom screens? Amazon delivers. | What a snooze fest! This remake of the classic Orson and HG combo would have been tired even if it was the first time it had been done. The movie follows a government surveillance expert played by Ice Cube, as he navigates an alien invasion through his computer screens. The “screenlife” format, meant to add a modern twist, feels forced and dated, like a Covid-era experiment gone wrong. The real stars (sadly) are Amazon Prime’s product placements, including a cringe-worthy drone delivery sequence that’s more advertisement than storytelling. |
| 110 | A Minecraft Movie | 32 | I have one wish. I wish for the youth of today who piled into theaters to see this crapfest of a movie, who yelled out lines from the trailer before the movie started and then, when the 5 lines ran out, said them again and again, and who did the worst of the worst and most obnoxious shit ever when someone said Chicken Jockey…I hope they one day wake up and feel the deep, immense shame that everyone else felt watching them watch this movie. I hope they feel it in their bones and it leaves them huddled in the dark, weeping for their souls. | Wow. This made a billion dollars?!? The film follows a predictable hero’s journey narrative as our protagonist navigates a blocky world filled with pixelated creatures. I managed a chuckle when the defeated boss refused to give up, but that’s about it. To be honest, I was grateful I didn’t catch most of the inside jokes, as they seemed to only serve as a reminder of the movie’s lack of originality. I normally say this movie just isn’t for me, but this movie should be for no one. |
| 111 | Star Trek: Section 31 | 31 | The first AI generated Star Trek script is as bad as this sentence makes it sound. | Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what was happening most of the time. The CGI was laughable, looking straight out of a mid-2000s video game. The action scenes resembled bad cutscenes, with stiff characters and awkward camera angles. The story was a jumbled mess, with plot twists coming out of left field and characters acting out of character. Overall, a disappointing addition to the Star Trek franchise. |
