By: Wil Watson

Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to grace us with their presence. It’s time to talk about the best movies of the year, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride. The writers strike seemed to have a bit of an impact on the breadth of movies offered, but that didn’t stop some gems from shining through. Superhero movies, on the other hand, were a non-entity for me this year. I mean, seriously, how many times can we watch the same old origin story or navel-gaze about the multiverse? And don’t even get me started on Sony’s attempts at making superhero movies. Let’s just say they should stick to what they’re good at: making video games.

But enough about that. The real stars of the show were the smart indies and fresh takes on franchises. Anything that gives us something new.  These movies showed us that there’s still hope for the film industry, even in the midst of a strike and a sea of superhero mediocrity. This article will dive into my top picks for the best movies of the year, sink into the morass of the worst ten movies of the year, and close out with full list of every movie I saw this year ranked, with guest commentary (as always) from Ryan Garcia!

We’re going in!

Counting Down the Top Ten

10. Inside Out 2

Surprisingly as good as the first movie, which is in the upper pantheon of Pixar classics. I think the inclusion of anxiety, which most of us adults STILL suffer from, was the reason this one matched the original. You could actually relate more to Riley’s issues in this one, even as an adult. The rare A grade sequel to a Pixar film.

9. Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

How can a movie that tells of the horrible accident of one of my childhood heroes be so uplifting. Because Chris Reeve did more after he was injured for the world than Superman did in all the movies and tv shows he’s appeared in over the year.

8.  Saturday Night

We all knew what was going to happen. We all knew it was a success, since this movie came out during the 50th season of the legendary sketch comedy. But that didn’t do anything to remove the anxiety, the fear, and the tension Reitman created in a tight, near real time telling of the first show to air. After the premiere, Chevy Chase said he hated it. That’s an endorsement of the film for me.

7. A Real Pain

A very cringy dramedy about two cousins, one a family man who seemingly has it all together than the other a man who is rudderless in life, who take a trip to Poland to honor the life of their beloved grandmother. On the way, they explore the Jewish history of the country, including a painful visit to a concentration camp. Amazing script and performances.

6.  Transformers One

Transformers One followed the story of the Transformers before all of them could transform. It is basically an origin story where Optimus Prime and Megatron are buddies out to shake up the status quo. It was by far the best animated movie of the year that no one saw. Despite its quality, the movie was not a commercial success due to the franchise’s decline in popularity. This mirrors the fate of the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was also well-made but failed to find an audience, denying us a potential franchise.

5.  Sing Sing

What a beautiful movie, using primarily a cast of actors from the original Sing Sing program. Such an amazing tale of redemption and rehabilitation through the arts. The prisoners created beauty in a place of dread and came out better for it. Clarence Maclin needs to take home an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Colman Domingo win lead either.

4.  Will & Harper

The movie is a combination of old traveling comedies and one woman’s journey to find herself. It pays homage to classic road trip films like “Thelma and Louise” and “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” while also exploring themes of self-discovery and personal growth. The film’s lighthearted tone and comedic moments are balanced with deeper emotional moments, making it a relatable and entertaining watch for audiences of all ages.

3.  Anora

Anora takes an old story and makes it new. The film expertly balancing humor and heartache as it delves into the complex relationships between Anora, her eccentric husband, and a hired tough who becomes an unlikely ally. The acting is superb and the direction keeps you wondering what is around the corner: comedy or heartbreak. Anora feels like a modern retelling of Pretty Woman, but with more grit and less fairy tale.

2.  Heretic

In the thought-provoking film “Heretic,” Hugh Grant delivers a remarkable performance that defies his typical comedic or snarky offerings. When two Mormon missionaries are invited to teach him about their church, Grant’s character engages in intellectual debates that leads to a chilling atmosphere of horror and suspense. The movie encourages viewers to consider the merits of both religious and atheist perspectives, and is probably one of the more balanced approaches of the topic (ignoring that Grant’s character is a creeper) I’ve seen in recent years.

NUMBER ONE!

1.  Wicked

My biggest surprise of the year: I wasn’t eager to see this movie, as I’m not a huge fan of the musical. But when I found out it was a two-parter and the first part was longer than the entire Wicked musical, my expectations were lowered even more. However, all of that changed when I saw this incredible piece of cinema. Despite its length, it never felt long, thanks to the charming world-building and amazing cast, particularly Ariana Grande, who I don’t usually like. I think this movie will surprise people come Oscar season and contend for some of the biggest awards of the night.

FLUSHING OUT THE BOTTOM TEN

In a year where movies in my top 25 would have ordinarily been in the 50-60 range, it is a hard task to fall to the bottom.  So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10.  Kraven the Hunter

It was Venom 1 bad, not Morbius or Madame Web bad. Tom Kelly’s review nailed it.  Aaron Taylor Johnson did fairly well despite the utter shitshow surrounding him

9.  The Union

Wahlberg and Berry had no chemistry.  A movie about their co-workers spies would have been great because Simmons and Haley were great as grumpy old spies.  Oh, well.  It wouldn’t be a bottom of the list without a Wahlberg entry. But it wouldn’t be his last entry…

8. Godzilla v. Kong: New Empire

In early iterations of these franchises, I always thought the scenes with the humans were dull, but once Kong or Godzilla showed up, at least it was dumb fun.  This time I didn’t even like the CGI parts. It was that bland.  But people keep going…

7. Arthur the King

It wouldn’t be a bottom of the list without a SECOND Wahlberg entry.  Here it is.  I don’t like pet movies.  This is a pet movie with Mark Wahlberg.  Shocking it is so low on my list.   I am not sure what is more indicative of the amount of business travel I did this year?  The fact that I am super duper Executive Platinum on American Airlines or that I watched every other movie American or British Airways had to offer before enduring this mess.

6. The Garfield Movie

I don’t think even 1st graders would like this. I think it is time to retire this character seven days a week instead of just Mondays…

5. Atlas

The winner of this year’s “I watched it on a plane and thought about walking out” award. Netflix needs to move on from JLo like Ben Affleck and all the others.

4. Bordelands

The Fallout TV series showed you how to make a property like this work. You took THAT cast and made THIS dreck? It was really cool to look at but the script was atrocious.

3.  Lift

Oh, Kevin Hart.  You had two movies below Wahlberg’s two movies in the bottom ten.  What an honor that is. I figured this wouldn’t be good, but it would be a passable Friday night. I finished it on Saturday because Stephanie asked if we could turn it off and watch Scrubs instead.

2. Lisa Frankenstein

This had a preview that made me eagerly await the film’s release… but only so they would stop playing the annoying trailer before movies I saw.  The movie was worse than the trailer.  I haven’t liked anything Diablo Cody has done since Juno. She really was a one hit wonder and this is the worst of her scripts yet. The comparison to a horror version of Heathers was way off base.  I knew Heathers. Heathers was a movie I liked. This is no Heathers.

DEAD ASS LAST

1.  Madame Web

Historically bad. How did this movie every get out of a pitch session? Careers need to end. Lives need to be broken. Exorcisms might be required to get the stink off the Sony Live Action Spider-Man side hustle. Right now as we speak, the United Nations is assembling their top minds to determine how to move forward as a planet.  Still…better than Mortdecai…

Final Thoughts

And there you have it, folks! My top ten movies of 2024. It’s been a wild ride, but I’m glad I could share my thoughts with you. Let’s be real, 2024 was a bit of a dumpster fire when it came to movies. But hey, at least we had some gems that shone through the trash.
I’m looking forward to 2025, though. There are some interesting-looking superhero movies on the horizon, like Captain America: New World Order and Thunderbolts*. And let’s not forget James Gunn’s Superman reboots. I’m also curious about the Michael Jackson biopic. If it’s honest, it could create some serious buzz.

But let’s be real, the best movies are often the ones we don’t see coming. So, I’m excited to see what little-known gems 2025 has in store for us. Bring it on, Hollywood!

Full List (#1-126)

ALL-TIME GREATS

No movies quite hit this category in 2024.

EXCELLENT

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

1	Wicked	100	My biggest surprise of the year: I wasn’t eager to see this movie, as I’m not a huge fan of the musical. But when I found out it was a two-parter and the first part was longer than the entire Wicked musical, my expectations were lowered even more. However, all of that changed when I saw this incredible piece of cinema. Despite its length, it never felt long, thanks to the charming world-building and amazing cast, particularly Ariana Grande, who I don’t usually like. I think this movie will surprise people come Oscar season and contend for some of the biggest awards of the night.	AAAaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAaaaAAaAAaa yeah!
2	Heretic	98	In the thought-provoking film “Heretic,” Hugh Grant delivers a remarkable performance that defies his typical comedic or snarky offerings. When two Mormon missionaries are invited to teach him about their church, Grant’s character engages in intellectual debates that leads to a chilling atmosphere of horror and suspense. The movie encourages viewers to consider the merits of both religious and atheist perspectives, and is probably one of the more balanced approaches of the topic (ignoring that Grant’s character is a creeper) I’ve seen in recent years.	This is why you never take pie from a stranger
3	Anora	98	Anora takes an old story and makes it new. The film expertly balancing humor and heartache as it delves into the complex relationships between Anora, her eccentric husband, and a hired tough who becomes an unlikely ally. The acting is superb and the direction keeps you wondering what is around the corner: comedy or heartbreak. Anora feels like a modern retelling of Pretty Woman, but with more grit and less fairy tale.
4	Will & Harper	97	The movie is a combination of old traveling comedies and one woman’s journey to find herself. It pays homage to classic road trip films like “Thelma and Louise” and “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” while also exploring themes of self-discovery and personal growth. The film’s lighthearted tone and comedic moments are balanced with deeper emotional moments, making it a relatable and entertaining watch for audiences of all ages.	Bringing a human element to how much Texas sucks
5	Sing Sing	97	What a beautiful movie, using primarily a cast of actors from the original Sing Sing program. Such an amazing tale of redemption and rehabilitation through the arts. The prisoners created beauty in a place of dread and came out better for it. Clarence Maclin needs to take home an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Colman Domingo win lead either.	Bold to make a live action remake and not have it be musical, but really worked
6	Transformers One	96	Transformers One followed the story of the Transformers before all of them could transform. It is basically an origin story where Optimus Prime and Megatron are buddies out to shake up the status quo. It was by far the best animated movie of the year that no one saw. Despite its quality, the movie was not a commercial success due to the franchise’s decline in popularity. This mirrors the fate of the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was also well-made but failed to find an audience, denying us a potential franchise.	This is one of those rare movies that has absolutely NO BUSINESS being this good. Great story, great characters, great voice acting.

STRONG ENTRIES

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

7	A Real Pain		A very cringy dramedy about two cousins, one a family man who seemingly has it all together than the other a man who is rudderless in life, who take a trip to Poland to honor the life of their beloved grandmother. On the way, they explore the Jewish history of the country, including a painful visit to a concentration camp. Amazing script and performances.
8	Saturday Night	95	We all knew what was going to happen. We all knew it was a success, since this movie came out during the 50th season of the legendary sketch comedy. But that didn’t do anything to remove the anxiety, the fear, and the tension Reitman created in a tight, near real time telling of the first show to air. After the premiere, Chevy Chase said he hated it. That’s an endorsement of the film for me.	This took all of the least interesting aspects of SNL and put it into a dated, predictable storyline.
9	Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story	95	How can a movie that tells of the horrible accident of one of my childhood heroes be so uplifting. Because Chris Reeve did more after he was injured for the world than Superman did in all the movies and tv shows he’s appeared in over the year.	A story about Superman in which Superman IV: The Quest For Peace wasn’t the most tragic occurrence
10	Inside Out 2	91	Suprisingly as good as the first movie, which is in the upper pantheon of Pixar classics. I think the inclusion of anxiety, which most of us adults STILL suffer from, was the reason this one matched the original. You could actually relate more to Riley’s issues in this one, even as an adult. The rare A grade sequel to a Pixar film.	I was hoping Bing Bong would be back for revenge.
11	Hit Man	90	I am a sucker for Richard Linklater comedies. Even when his movies aren’t set here, I can feel the Austin film vibe all over the place. I am still unsure how I feel about Glen Powell as an actor, but he nails the role here as a goofy tech guy who becomes Joe Cool when undercover trying to prevent people from hiring a hit man to murder people in their lives. It does get a little silly, but Linklater and Powell just lean into that and it works.	All good relationships are built on lies and murder
12	Chasing Chasing Amy	89	I like the movie Chasing Amy and I am a longtime Kevin Smith fan, but this movie is also about the filmmaker and how it affected their lives over the years. Normally I don’t like it when a documentarian injects themselves in the narrative, but this time it was not only appropriate, but also compelling viewing.
13	Furiosa	89	It is amazing that George Miller keeps making really amazing movies in this universe where the title character isn’t really the most compelling part of the film. Like in Fury Road where Furiosa stole the show, Furiousa gives way to the supporting characters and the dystopian badlands themselves. Chris Hemsworth must have a mouthful of sand because he spent the whole movie chewing the scenery. Overall, really enjoyable and I am very disappointed audiences didn’t embrace it. This is probably Miller’s last entry in the Road Warrior universe.	It’s furio-SA, not furi-O-sa
14	A Complete Unknown	89	Timothy Chalemet is a freaking star. He’s been good in everything he’s done and his turn as Bob Dylan might be his best work. The movie is largely a paint by numbers biopic, but it is one with great music and all world acting.	Booooooooooo

VERY GOOD

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

15	My Old Ass	89	A funny movie about changes in life, with the clever premise of getting some advice from your future self.	Clever time-travel twist on coming of age story.
16	Thelma	89	A movie that is both funny and heartfelt, dealing with the indignities and challenges of aging. A solid movie to be Richard Roundtree’s last film.	Finally an explanation how lamp stores still exist
17	Return of the King: The Fall and Rise of Elvis Presley	89	A really fun documentary about Elvis, the country in that era, and the african american influence on rock and roll.
18	Woman of the Hour	89	A nice dramedy to watch on a Friday night on Netlfix.	Strong directorial debut where the protaganist did nothing while a side character was the hero
19	Slingshot	89	I like Sci Fi that tips toward psychological horror, so this scratched that itch.	The longest trip to Saturn is the one in your head
20	Tom Petty: Heartbreakers Beach Party	89	My love for all things Tom Petty made this a layup to be high on my list.
21	Conclave	89	A smart and well acted movie that really didn’t seem to earn its triumphant ending. It is still good, but it should have been a top five for me.	Religious political thriller delivers some great moments
22	Gary	88	So freaking sad watching the tragic life of a performer I loved. He had very few people in his life that actually cared about him. And the vultures who picked at him all appear in the doc and they come across as shit; especially his parents and ex-wife. When Todd Bridges, with all his problems in life, comes out looking great, you know the deck was stacked against poor Gary. Dude had all that talent, made a lot of money, but between poor health and greed of those around him, he died young and unhappy.
23	Civil War	88	A dark but timely look at how “it could happen here.” The film is less about the politics of what could cause such an outbreak of civil war in the U.S. but rather about how people react in the face of conflict. There were a couple of moments that, if altered, would have made this a perfect score film, but still incredible.	Bold choice to not even include Iron Man or Cap, still worked pretty well
24	Yacht Rock	87	I thought this was going to be a silly doc since it is based on the name created by online comedians. But it turned out to be a smart look (you can always count on HBO) and the music and musicians of a distinct moment in time.

GOOD MOVIES

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

25	Didi	87	Nice coming of age dramedy about a kid on the brink of high school and learning who he wants to be versus who he is supposed to be.
26	Wolfs	87	Good dumb fun. I like Pitt and Clooney’s buddy chemistry and this one is 2 hours of it.
27	Alien: Romulus	87	I’ve not really liked the series that much, so this is easily my third favorite installment behind the first two. I feel like much of the success of movies like this is the set up BEFORE the creature starts attacking. That is where Romulus succeeded. I liked the world building that took place to show us a little more of the world in the shadow of a heartless multi-global corporation. It makes the action more interesting when the aliens started popping out of chests and spitting acid.	There’s finally a character as good as Ripley in an Alien movie!
28	Fall Guy	87	This was a fun movie, but man did I want this to be so good it was my #1 movie of the year. It was a fun afternoon at the movies, but the only knock was it teetered between straight action comedy and parody, and it was mildly jarring when they couldn’t find the right lane.	Another action movie where Jean Claude steals the show
29	Martha	87	Nice documentary about Martha Stewart, where she doesn’t require Netflix to engage in its usual access journalism and pull punches.
30	Boy Kills World		This movie would have probably been middling to bad if it wasn’t narrated by Archer.	Fun, over the top action with the best voiceovers in cinema history
31	Casa Bonita Mi Amor	87	I love the South Park guys, but this felt a little meandering. Definitely not as good as Six Days to Air.	The third best restaurant to include indoor cliff diving finally gets the documentary it deserves
32	Mean Girls	86	I liked the original film. I liked the Broadway adapation of the original film. I liked the film adapation of the Broadway adapation of the original film. Fetch happened.	If by Mean they meant average, they nailed it
33	Music by John Williams	86	The music was great.
34	Quiet Place Day One	86	I wondered if we needed a day one prequel, since we got a taste of that in the flashback of Part 2. But they found a fun and heartfilled story that just happened to take place in this universe. That’s how you build a cinematic universe.	This is the most intense interview for a cat adoption ever
35	The Truth vs. Alex Jones	86	You won’t believe how bullheaded one person can be but you get to see what happens when he fucks around and finds out…
36	Fly Me to the Moon	86	A fun little comedy that too often goes directly to streaming. Not great, but a nice afternoon at the movies. Honestly…you can watch it on streaming.
37	Stopping the Steal	87	An interesting look at the debate over the 2020 election results.
38	Lover Stalker Killer	86	This true crime doc blew my mind. Ryan says he saw it coming the whole time when he watched, but me and Stephanie, far less depraved than Ryan, were floored.	Better title: Evil Fucking Pet Killer
39	The Greatest Night in Pop	86	This movie, plus the amazing A.I. smart glasses that I work on in my day job, cost me a LOT of money in a poolside bet!	I saw this for free but some people paid $1,000.
40	The 4:30 Movie		This Kevin Smith movie feels like an 80’s comedy and a parody of an 80’s comedy at the same time.
41	Jackpot!	86	A silly turd of a movie that I hope we get a sequel to every two years.	Stupid, dumb fun movie where the blooper reel over the credits is as funny as the movie.
42	Unfrosted	86	This movie seems to be hit or miss with the surreal comedy. For me, it was a hit but I think it is guilty of the same criticism I had about Fall Guy. It sometimes tried to be a straight comedy, when all too often it was MUCH more of a parody.	One of the best funeral scenes in all cinema.

DECENT FLICKS

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

43	The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare	86	I like Guy Ritchie action comedies and this one, while not as good as the Gentlemen, hit the mark.	Remote islands are the BEST place to have a costume party.
44	Jim Henson Idea Man	85	I’m not crying. You’re crying.
45	Gladiator 2	83	They didn’t need to make it but it was ok…
46	The Final: Attack on Wembley	82	When Brits Behave Badly.
47	The Instagators	81	A decent heist crime drama.
48	Beatles ’64	81	I’m a Beatles fan so it was worth the watch, but I feel like I’ve seen a lot of that before.
49	Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes	81	Could have used more apes on horses with machine guns, but a passable good time.
50	The Biggest Heist Ever	80	Decent Netflix true crime doc.
51	Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare	80	I liked the story but the storytelling was really off.	You see where it’s all going from the opening scene, and then when it gets there it just ends. Bah.
52	Monkey Man	80	I wanted to like this more, but it was just decent.	This should be brought into the John Wick universe
53	Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part 1	80	Really good kick off to a story that remains one of my favorite comic series of all time.
54	Dune Part 2	80	A beautiful movie, and better than the first, but I just don’t fully connect with this property.	aaaAAAAA GAAAAAA DDDDAAAAYYYYY BADEEEEEEEEBBBBBAAAAAAAA
55	Juror #2	80	I had to turn off my lawyer brain but when I did, I enjoyed Eastwood’s last directed film.

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

56	Money Electric: The Bitcoin Mystery	80	I don’t like crypto and this doc (plus a Michael Lewis book I read this year) illustrates just why I shouldn’t.
57	South Park: The End of Obesity	80	A solid entry into the SP specials. Pretty timely and with Matt and Trey’s killer wit.
58	The Book of Clarence	80	Again, another movie that couldn’t figure out the balance between comedy and parody. This one hurt the most because there was an amazing picture in this that didn’t materialize.
59	Bitconned	80	I don’t like crypto and this doc (plus a Michael Lewis book I read this year) also illustrates just why I shouldn’t.
60	Skywalkers: A Love Story	80	I’ve never rooted so hard for people I think should be locked up for what they did in the doc.
61	One Life	79	It was good, but still not as good as the You Tube clip of the reveal happening.
62	The Menendez Brothers	78	Pointed out one fact (that some evidence in the second trial that should have been included was disallowed) that made me rethink whether they should be eligible to be resentenced. I still think they are guilty, but that evidence being disallowed the second time was unfair.
63	Challengers	78	A movie where you have no one to like and the plot is only so good.
64	Twisters	78	I didn’t see the original, but this might be the okayest movie of the year.
65	You Can Call Me Bill	78	If you love William Shatner, as I do, this is a nice doc to watch.
66	Damsel	77	The CGI was weak, but Milly Bobbie Brown was great. Movies like this would disappoint in the theater, but this adds to the value of my Netflix subscription.	What did you do now, Sel?
67	Carry-On	77	Movies like this are not great but they are why I will never drop Netflix.	An entire movie about those warnings they announce to not take baggage for someone. The sequel is about the real reason for the white loading zone.
68	The Bikeriders	77	I was expecting so much more with this cast. But only Tom Hardy realy brought the thunder. Comer was average, and Elvis was a non-entity.
69	Argylle	76	I wanted it to work, but it was just a little too stupid for me.	Every slow motion fight sequence should have colored smoke bombs
70	Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F	76	Initially, I had this one lower but Ryan made me list all the funny parts and the score rose a decent amount. It was entirely cromulent.	I would gladly watch a new Beverly Hills Cop movie every year
71	Untold: The Murder of Steve McNair	76	Paint by numbers with no big revelations. Probably not the best topic for an Untold.
72	The Bee Keeper	75	There were some fun parts but I won’t remember any of them by the time you read this.	Jason Statham plays his weirdest hobbyist since The Geocacher
73	Apollo 13: Survival	75
74	I.S.S	75	This was better than I anticipated. Not great, but an excellent plane movie.	B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
75	The Antisocial Network: Memes to Mayhem	75	Covered a lot of ground I saw in the Qanon miniseries on HBO.
76	Secret Lives of Orangutans	75	Good footage but they failed to create a narrative no matter how hard they tried.
77	They Call Him Mostly Harmless	75	Cool subject, dry delivery.	Just don’t call him Late For Dinner….oh, wait…..
78	Scoop	75	Surprisingly boring given the subject matter.
79	Trap	75	There were the bones of a good movie here, but M. Night couldn’t deliver.	A fun Uno reverse play on Die Hard
80	Red One	75	It was a turd, but it was fun enough.
81	Shirley	75	It felt like everyone was giving a big speech in every conversation.
82	Untold: Sign Stealer	75	This was too soon after the scandal to be part of this series. Everyone still has their defenses up.	The first half makes you think there’s more to the story and the second half confirms there is not.
83	Despicable Me 4	75	Better than the last Minions movie but middling.
84	A Family Affair	75	This was a Stephanie pick and I liked it way more than her. Do what you will with that information.
85	MoviePass, MovieCrash	75	I was an early MoviePass user, so this story is personal to me. Sadly, the directors couldn’t find the right narrative to tell it.
86	Bob Marley: One Love	75	I wish this had been better.
87	Drive-Away Dolls	75	The jokes just didn’t land often enough.
88	How to Rob a Bank	75	I honestly don’t even remember what this was about other than a weird bank robber dude.
89	IF	75	There was one great sequence (during the Tina Turner musical number), but otherwise it was bland. My favorite part other than that is when someone said “butt” and the kids in the audience giggled.
90	Wild Wild Space	75	I love NASA, but this was very unmemorable.
91	Mysteries of the Terra Cotta Warriors	75	It was more about the history of the region than the Warriors themselves and it wasn’t told in the most compelling manner.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

92	Brats	73	The only good part is when McCarthy confornts the journalist who coined the name, but sadly it is a respectful conversation between old men.
93	Deadpool 3	72	If I had seen this before Spider-Man: NO Way Home, it might have landed higher. But the multiverse stuff is SOOOOO played out. I can’t believe they wasted an installment of my favorite series for this fanwank. AND I lost a coffee bet that REALLY mattered.	A flawless continuation of the two previous movies while setting the stage for more fun
94	Adam Sandler: Love You	70	There was some great material in there, but it felt like he phoned it in on his delivery.
95	Time Cut	70	I saw this movie.	Not so clever time-travel twist on a teen slasher story.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

96	Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie	69	I think I just need to stop watching Spongebob movies. They are never that good.
97	Einstein and the Bomb	69	The docudrama format using actors to tell the story along with interviews didn’t work here.
98	What Jennifer Did	69	How could they not make this story interesting?!?!	She did bad.
99	Abused By Mom: The Ruby Franke Scandal	69	Interesting premise, weak execution
100	Longlegs	69	Other people enjoyed this, but I didn’t really get the appeal. But horror is my least favorite genre, so grain of salt.
101	Lost in the Shuffle	69	The magicians responsible for telling the story were not compelling.
102	Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part 3	69	Better than Part 2, but not by much.
103	Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part 2	69	Told you it wasn’t by much…
104	Kung Fu Panda 4	69	Maybe I need to stop watching kid targeted animated movies altogether. These make me nostaligic for when I would take the boys to see every cartoon released, but I know this one would have been a good nap.
105	Jailbreak: Love on the Run	69	Could have been 45 minutes.
106	Sasquatch Sunset	68	It was a neat idea, but I was way too bored to lean into it.
107	Spaceman	66	It was “serious Sandler” but not “Good Sandler.”
108	Bad Boys: Ride or Die	66	Part three was surprisingly different. This one just kept going to the well. But I will say Will Smith’s presence doesn’t bother me in the movie, so I guess I past Slapgate…if it ever bothered me in the first place.

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

109	It Ends With Us	66	I would have ended it after 15 minutes if I didn’t watch it with Stephanie.
110	Incoming	66	I laughed a couple of times, but man did this thing stink	Good Boys + 2 years = Fun
111	Ghostbusters: F.E.	66	Entirely uneccessary, though I enjoyed the steaks and watching it with both my boys home.
112	Blink Twice	65	The direction was weird for the sake of weird, which feels lazy.
113	Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy	65	This could have been such an interesting movie about commercialism but instead it was a movie covering environmental issues that have been covered better elsewhere…MANY times.
114	Beetlejuice Beetlejuice	65	I didn’t love the first one. I didn’t like the second one.
115	Untold: Hope Solo vs US Soccer	65	Total propoganda piece to rehabilitate Solo. I agree with her stance on equal pay, but that doesn’t make her any less of a jerk. There is a reason none of her teammates like despite her leading the charge.
116	Mothers’ Instinct	65	The ending was bold, but the lead up to it was so bad.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

117	Kraven the Hunter	65	It was Venom 1 bad, not Morbius or Madame Web bad.
118	The Union	65	It wouldn’t be a bottom of the list without a Wahlberg entry.	They’ve really run out of names for secret spy agencies.
119	Godzilla v. Kong: New Empire	62	I didn’t even like the CGI parts. It was that bland.	Literally the same empire.
120	Arthur the King	60	It wouldn’t be a bottom of the list without a SECOND Wahlberg entry.
121	The Garfield Movie	57	I don’t think even 1st graders would like this.
122	Atlas	55	The winner of this year’s “I watched it on a plane and thought about walking out” award.	Fun drinking game: take a shot every time JLo cries. That way you’ll be too drunk to finish this movie.
123	Borderlands	49	The Fallout TV series showed you how to make a property like this work. You took THAT cast and made THIS dreck?	A fun video game series deserved better.
124	Lift	45	I figured this wouldn’t be good, but it would be a passable Friday night. I finished it on Saturday because Stephanie asked if we could turn it off and watch Scrubs.	The only time I would have preferred an Uber
125	Lisa Frankenstein	40	I haven’t liked anything Diablo Cody has done since Juno. She really was a one hit wonder because this is the worst of her scripts yet. I knew Heathers. Heathers was a movie I liked. This is no Heathers.
126	Madame Web	30	Historically bad. How did this movie every get out of a pitch session? Careers need to end. Lives need to be broken. Exorcisms might be required to get the stink off the Sony Live Action Spider-Man side hustle.	Sony, Sony, Sony. {shakes head, slams against the wall}

 

By: William Watson

Movies have been in a weird place since the pandemic.  Studios are still trying to figure out their distribution strategy around theatrical, PVOD, and streaming release dates.  Couple that with their ongoing tentpole obsession AND two union strikes preventing actors from promoting films and you have a quirky dynamic in the air.

One thing we did see was that audiences are getting tired of seeing the same, stale franchises over and over.  Some of them deserved to fail (anything with Vin Diesel or a Transformer), but some just made me sad (The Marvels, Mission Impossible, and Indiana Jones).  Still, in the wreckage of some of the biggest box office bombs of all time, there are still amazing movies being made.  Some of them small budget gems…but some films (especially those released on July 21st) really took theaters by storm.

Enough industry analysis.  Here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. BLACKBERRY

This drama about Corporate America Canada was so impressive that I think Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon and Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny should be considered for Oscar noms. Sadly this one didn’t connect with audiences, but it is one of those movies that probably works better as a streamer.  Someone said recently that Tesla could be to electric vehicles what Blackberry was to smart phones.  As this movie indicates, executive hubris would be the cause for both if that comes to pass…

9.  AIR

In a year full of dramatic business movies, this one set the standard. My favorite genre of books is narrative nonfiction about interesting events in business and public service. Great cast. Great story. Great script.  Jason Bateman stole the show as usual.

8.  BARBIE

What a success! There is no reason a movie based on a toy, targeted at one segment of the market, with that much pink, should become one of the biggest four-quadrant hits of all time. Greta Gerwig, the next big name, made that happen with an incredibly smart script and brilliant direction. Add in epic performances by Robbie, Gosling, McKinnon, Liu, Ferrera, and Cera, and you have something just good Kenough to make my top ten of the year!

7. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM

This movie was pure fun. I loved the Turtles themselves. It felt like the director put four teenagers in a sound both and let them improvise some of the dialogue. It was either that or the screenwriter caught “Hello, Fellow Kids!” lightning in a bottle. The animation was unconventional but REALLY captured the feel of the original comics. And the humor was spot on; especially Ice Cube. “I didn’t even need that horse…”

6.  AMERICAN FICTION

What a beautiful surprise. The movie that goes in a very different direction than the trailer suggest, but honors the premise at the same time. What a nice performance by a lot of talented actors.  I hope this one gets some real buzz at awards season.

5.  THE HOLDOVERS

Alexander Payne returns to form after directing a couple of movies I just couldn’t connect with. Holdovers is a nice little film that gets a little over the top at times with the comedy, but never in a way that takes away from the heart that comes with it. Da’Vine Joy Randolph is going to sweep award season with her seamless shift from gut busting comedy, to breaking you into tears.  I think hers was the best performance of the year.

4.  SISU

Oddly, this was like a Tarantino movie… without the dialogue. Can such a thing exist?  It does!  This revenge movie set in the last days of World War II Finland is a tour de force.  I believe Sisu is Finnish for “I’m gonna drive a knife through your skull and use you as a human shield…”  If you are squeamish about violence, avoid this movie at all costs!

3. DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

What a fun movie.  Something for everyone… if only it got a chance.  Sadly, the brand wasn’t embraced by audiences who have leaned into science fiction and superheroes the last 15 years.  Humorous fantasy could have been the new, dominant tentpole genre, but it proved too geeky for broader audiences. This will forever be the shared universe that might have been…

2. OPPENHEIMER

This was so amazing. Nolan took a story about theoretical physicists and made a three hour movie about it that made more than all but the biggest blockbusters of all time. The guy is just in a league of his own right now and is one of a handful of people (directors, actors, writers, performers) where audiences show up based on his name alone. He’s the Taylor Swift of directors. That is high praise, which I know he would hate.

NUMBER ONE!

1.  SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE

The first film in the series landed at my top spot in 2018, and its successor does as well in 2023.  It is an absolutely amazing story… but it was the animation that blew me away. I thought the first installment was a major advancement in the format,  but this one makes the original look like dog shit.  I knew in the opening sequence with the mixed animation style in the fight with the Vulture that this movie was going to pop.  Directors Lord and Miller have really hit it big with both entries in this franchise.  I really hope they stick the landing with the final installment of the trilogy.  

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  This one is filled with franchises that should die off or attempts to create ones that should have never existed.

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10.  Aquaman:  The Lost Kingdom

Did I miss the story in Variety reporting that George Lucas wrote and directed this movie? It felt just like one of the Star Wars Prequels. Mamoa does his best but they didn’t give him anything to work with. Sadly, despite being a fan of his, this isn’t my last entry in the bottom ten featuring JM.

9.  WANDERING EARTH 2

I’ll admit it… it is a good looking film. Sadly, “Wandering Earth” is how you say “Michael Bay” in Mandarin…

8.  HOUSE PARTY

I only liked the parts that didn’t focus on the leading men or their romantic interests. Sadly, that was only like 10% of the movie.

7.  THE POPE’S EXORCIST

Plodding in a way that makes plodding movies seem less plodding.

6.  YOUR PLACE OR MINE

Every dumb cliche and bad script choice possible went into the making of this movie.  The description of a movie is in this picture was more original.

5.  Retribution

It wouldn’t be my annual list without a Liam NEESON stinker near the bottom. They spend no money on script or production values here. None.  Reminded me of my favorite movie review I ever did.  Same thing applies to this crapfest.

4.  BIG GEORGE FOREMAN: THE MIRACULOUS STORY OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

I grew up in the Houston suburb where George Foreman lives. I even went to high school with one or two of the George/Georgias. This movie should have been a slam dunk for me, but man was it a miss. I think they tried to make a faith based movie and traditional, sports bio movie at the same time; failing the target audiences for both.

3. KNIGHTS OF THE ZODIAC

I was so certain this would be in Ryan’s top ten for the year that I practically begged him to watch it. Sadly, he didn’t like it either.  I felt it would speak to him since he likes garbage.

2. THE MEG 2: THE TRENCH

This movie was so insultingly dumb.  Look… the original Meg wasn’t high art, but it was at least fun. This leaned into every bad part of the original without the dash of charm that made the first one passable.

1.  FAST X

Worst X-Men movie ever…

Final Thoughts

Last year, I ended my article with this line: “The movie business has changed and if they keep delivering smart movies like the ones in my top ten, I guess I can live with a cameo of Henry Cavill, Brandon Routh, Helen Slater, Christopher Reeve, and Kirk Alyn in the next Superman movie…”  Turns out it was in the movie the Flash.

And that seems to be Hollywood’s problem.  They are too predictable.  Even my bad jokes predict their next move.  I was joking!  And it happened.  Damn, are we in a rut in some parts of Hollywood.   But mixed in with the fluff, there were some great big budget flicks this year.  Let’s hope for more of that in 2024!

Full List (#1-143)

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

RYAN SAYS:

WATSON SAYS:

EXCELLENT

1	SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE	100	Exceptional, no doubt. But an incomplete story can’t earn 100. C’mon now.	Amazing story but it was the animation that absolutely blew me away. I thought the first one was a major advancement in the format but this one makes that one look like dog shit.
2	OPPENHEIMER	100	A fantastic look at a brilliant man but fell short of perfection, I thought, from both trying to understand Oppenheimer as well as learning what happened to him	This was so amazing. Nolan took a story about theoretical physicists and made a three hour movie about it that made more than all but the biggest blockbusters of all time. The guy is just in a league of his own right now and is one of a handful of people (directors, actors, writers, performers) where people show up based on his name alone. He’s the Taylor Swift of directors. That is high praise, which I know he would hate.

STRONG ENTRIES

3	DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES	95	The most realistic thing about this campaign? Our heros won without climbing a wall.	Could have been the new, dominant tentpole genre, but it proved too geeky for broader audiences. This will be the shared universe that might have been…
4	SISU	95	We’ve heard of spaghetti westerns. Is this the first lutefisk western?	Oddly like a Tarantino movie without the dialogue. I believe Sisu is Finnish for “I’m gonna drive a knife through your skull and use you as a human shield…”
5	THE HOLDOVERS	91		Alexander Payne returns to form after a couple of movies I just couldn’t connect with. Holdovers is a nice little film that gets a little over the top at times with the comedy, but never in a way that takes away from the heart that comes in the more poignant moments.
6	AMERICAN FICTION	90	A flawless film. I have no clue why you’ve given this only a 90.	What a beautiful surprise. The movie that goes in a very different direction than the trailer suggest, but honors the premise at the same time. What a nice performance by a lot of talented actors.
7	TMNT: MUTANT MAYHEM	90	Totally acceptable reboot	This movies was pure fun. I loved the Turtles themselves. It felt like the director put four teenagers in a sound both and let them improvise some of the dialogue. It was either that or the screenwriter caught “Fellow Kids” lightning in a bottle. The animation was unconventional but REALLY captured the feel of the original comics. And the humor was spot on; especially Ice Cube. “I didn’t even need that horse…”
8	BARBIE	90	A parody so effective it becomes canon.	What a success! There is no reason a movie based on a toy targeted at one segment of the market should become one of the biggest four-quadrant hits of all time. Greta Gerwig, the next big thing, made that happen with an incredibly smart script and brilliant direction. Add in epic performances by Robbie, Gosling, McKinnon, Liu, Ferrera, and Cera, and you have something just good Kenough to make the top ten of the year!

VERY GOOD

9	AIR	89	Interesting stuff, but since the story is essentially “Nike paid more” this movie could have been an email	Great cast. Great story. Great script. In a year full of business drama movies, this one set the standard. My favorite genre of books is narrative nonfiction about interesting events in business and public service. Now it seems they are becoming more popular as movie adaptions and that is fine with me.
10	BLACKBERRY	89	Fun story about the rare times in business when you need an asshole in charge	This business drama movie was so impressive that I think Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon and Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny should be considered for Oscar noms. Sad this one didn’t connect, but it is one of those movies that probably works better as a streamer.
11	WONKA	88		I liked this movie WAY more than I thought I would.  It was just so pleasant.
12	MAY DECEMBER	88		What a quirky concept for a movie that turned out to be an entertaining romp. I am still not sure it is as dramatic as the real events on which this fictitious telling is based on…
13	THE KILLER	88	Assassin movie filled with the same old tropes but executed incredibly well	Like Payne with The Holdovers, Fincher returns to glory after a disappointing film, Mank. While more straightforward than most Fincher thrillers, The Killer really keeps you on the edge of your seat as a hit man goes on the offensive after a bad engagement makes him a target.
14	STILL: A MICHAEL J FOX MOVIE	87	Love the theme, the structure, the methods of this documentary. Should win all the awards.	I don’t normally like biographical docs as much when the focal point is heavily involved but this movie wouldn’t have been nearly as special as an objective piece of storytelling.
15	GUY RITCHIE’S THE COVENANT	87	Everything about this movie worked	Very different than Ritchie’s normal fare, which I love, and that isn’t a bad thing in this case.
16	A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE	87		An excellent look at the history of Star Wars that doesn’t get talked about much. Not just the SW Holiday Special itself, but the era between the greenlighting of the OG film and the release of Empire.
17	POOR THINGS	87	Yorgos Lanthimos is Wes Anderson with a PhD	A really excellent look at coming to terms with life and independence. Meandered a tad in the second act, but still worth a watch for quirky, arthouse fans.
18	RUSTIN	87		An amazing lead performance by long time character actor Colman Domingo. I thought he deserved consideration for his role in Ma Rainy’s Black Bottom, but this should be his year to get a much deserved Oscar nomination.

GOOD MOVIES

19	NEXT GOAL WINS	86		That this got bad reviews makes me finally question the critics and their Rotten Tomato aggregations.  This was a fun, sweet, harmless movie that should have been well received.  It is very much in the style of an old Disney movie, sharing the same beats and heart as Cool Runnings.
20	DREAM SCENARIO	86	Great idea, fell apart at the end.	A fun premise that would have been great if it didn’t finish a little flat.
21	A MILLION MILES AWAY	86		Just one of those movies that is a pleasure to watch. Nothing out of this world (giggle), but a great Friday on the couch.
22	KELCE	85		I was kind of glad to learn it was about the OTHER Kelce brother and had very little to do with Taylor Swift.
23	GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3	85	Need to find a single person on an Earth replica planet? Just land in a random neighborhood. Always works.	Marvel is back to peak form with this amazing close out to the GotG trilogy. All the feels. All the action. All the comedy. Just a damn good time.
24	KILLER OF THE FLOWER MOON	85		It was a well acted, well crafted movie but it is WAY too long and definitely shouldn’t have included a “No intermission” clause in the contract with theater operators.
25	A HAUNTING IN VENICE	85	I would be perfectly pleased to have another Poirot movie like this come out every 18 months	I really like Branagh’s Poirot movies. He is just incredible as the character. I was surprised when they made a sequel to the first film and STUNNED when they made a sequel to this one. They don’t do well at the theater, so maybe they have some baller streaming numbers. This one didn’t connect at the box office so I will be (pleasantly) stunned if we get a fourth. If not, thanks for three fun, parlour room mysteries.
26	THE BOYS IN THE BOAT	85		It was schmalzy and formulaic, but it was enjoyable schmaltz and a time tested formula.
27	STRAYS	85	Definitely one of the three best movies about biting penis	I did not expect this movie to be good, but man was it the fun night out I needed. It is dumb, but much better than the wholesome, family dog movies.
28	OPERATION FORTUNE: RUSE DE GUERRE	85	Fun action flick, don’t understand why critics were mixed	Pretty much the sweet spot of Ritchie’s normal fare, which I love, so that isn’t a bad thing in this case…
29	JOY RIDE	85	A road trip in China and the most memorable part is the Eiffel Tower	Proof that going away from tentpole superhero movies isn’t going to save theaters, because this movie was fun and still fizzled.
30	ASTEROID CITY	85		This might be my arthouse equivalent of Ryan’s Fast and the Furious devotion. I know it is pretentious and fart sniffing…but the WHIMSY!
31	CHAMPIONS	85	Tries to be a bit more than a sports movie but doesn’t quite make it	A major surprise how much fun and heart this movie had. Really enjoyable flick.
32	GODZILLA MINUS ONE	84	Amazing take on Godzilla as an overwhelming force.	A limited budget and a smart director made for the best Godzilla movie I’ve ever seen.
33	THE MARVELS	84	Total blast and never dragged. Far better than the reviews or box office suggest.	I am so sad that this movie is being perceived as a failure because it was such a fun movie. Sure, it is probably not targeted at the core MCU audience, but that doesn’t mean it was not worth seeing. I think superhero movie fans are way too spoiled after Endgame and cannot enjoy films for what they are.
34	HOT POTATO: THE STORY OF THE WIGGLES	83	Great story of the band that I know way too many lyrics to their songs.	This was actually an impressive look at the band and how they used early education training to influence their material. Surprised there weren’t more hookers and blow in this musical biography…
35	THEY CLONED TYRONE	83	Solid, but not spectacular, racial science fiction. Less Jordan Peele than Jordan Zest.	It was very good, but could have been great with a little edgier humor. But you know who wasn’t the issue? Jamie Foxx! He was gold!
36	THEATER CAMP	83	Some truly great moments with no plot	This connected with me because I KNOW these people. Might have worked better without the overarching plot…
37	DUMB MONEY	83	Sort of interesting but missing the parts that makes it compelling	I really liked the Netflix docuseries about it, so the movie was fun. It did lose a little ground for removing some of the moral consequences the doc shared. It wasn’t just Wall Street that lost a fortune in this cool David beats Goliath story…
38	KEVIN HART & CHRIS ROCK: HEADLINERS ONLY	83	Some solid moments and insight into comedy as a career	A fun look at two performers I enjoy talking about their lives and their craft. Good for fans of standup.
39	UNTOLD: JOHNNY FOOTBALL	83	I watched the whole movie and I still feel like this story is untold	This doc actually made me feel sorry for someone who annoyed the shit out of me when he was in the news. Dude just fell apart under the pressure.
40	INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY	83	Fuck Mangold	It could have been 10 minutes shorter, but otherwise fun. Harrison was great as always. Audiences seemed to have reject this movie, but 20 years from now when Harrison is gone, I will be happy that we have this in the catalog.
41	CHEVALIER	82	So much of the historical record of this guy was destroyed…why did they choose to make him so boring?	The movie and subject matter were good. What made this noteworthy was Kelvin Harrison, Jr.’s outstanding performance. He needs a tentpole movie soon!
42	JOHN MULANEY: BABY J	82	Wants to be a comeback special, feels like he’s still falling	The only thing that would have been funnier was a sketch reenactment of his intervention.
43	THE LEAGUE	82		The reason why the pre-1950s records in baseball aren’t as sacred as they tell you…
44	RENFIELD	82		Nic Cage was on point. He accounts for 90% of the score I gave this one.
45	THE SPEECH	82		As a Houston Cougar fan, I HATE the NC State Wolfpack. But I can’t help but love their skipper.
46	TETRIS	82	A lot of lives were put at risk for me to waste so many hours in high school.	The origin story of the game that came with our Gameboy also came with a side of drama.

DECENT FLICKS

47	JOHN WICK 4	81	Dogs are the best.	Every scene was great, but they could have shaved 3-4 to make it a better overall movie
48	PAST LIVES	81		Beautifully made film but really dragged on at times. Kind of like Nomadland. I appreciated it more than I liked it…
49	MAESTRO	81		Maestro? So-so! The film dragged a lot but I will say that Cooper was excellent.
50	FLASH	81	Flash! Aaaaahh-aaahhhh! He killed the Snyderverse!	Was it the Flash movie I wanted? No. Was it the Flash movie general audiences wanted? No. Did I enjoy it on a first viewing? Yes. Will I watch it once a year? No chance.
51	THE BEANIE BUBBLE	80	Zach G shows he’s the closest we’ve got to Robin Williams.	A good streamer for a Friday on the couch. Fun business caper.
52	END OF NIGHT	80		Not quite there yet for the medium, but shows what VR movies COULD be like when we round the corner.
53	BAMA RUSH	80	2023 wants you to know that Alabama sucks.	I was in a fraternity. I am from Alabama. I root for the Crimson Tide. I have a ton of white privilege. This movie made me embarrassed of all of that….
54	GLITCH: THE RISE AND FALL OF HQ TRIVIA	80	Oh, so THAT’s what happened	A lot of nostalgia on this one. I was playing live the night the system overloaded and the charismatic host had to vamp about fidget spinners. Little did I know the drama behind it. We need a movie version of this one!
55	SAY HEY, WILLIE MAYS	80		The kind of documentary that makes you a bigger fan of the player…and the man.
56	KNOCK AT THE CABIN	80	Knock knock. Who’s there? Interesting premise that would have been better if left vague. Interesting premise that would– Oh shut up.	I like M. Knight movies that rely on interesting characters and stories more than going back to the well with another twist.
57	BILL RUSSELL: LEGEND	80		The man won so much it took 2:40 to tell the full story. A better man than an athlete…and he was an all-time athlete.
58	MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING- PART 1	80	This is the best MI movie with a sandstorm but no Dell Streaks.	I was sad this movie didn’t do as well as they wanted. It was on par with all but the best of the franchise and I thought Cruise would ride a post TG:M high. Shame because it was fun.
59	COCAINE BEAR	79	Way better than it had any reason to be.	The title prepares you for the film. And it doesn’t disappoint.
60	NAPOLEON	78		Probably would have been a great, if inaccurate, historical biopic in 2006. But this movie just seems a little tired now. Fine for an afternoon matinee.
61	CHRIS ROCK: SELECTIVE OUTRAGE	78	The last half made up for the first half.	Rock is not as funny as he once was, and comes off as a little bitter at times, but he still is good for some laughs.
62	THE BLACKENING	78	Succeeds at being genuine and a parody.	It started off slow but really found its rhythm in the second act.
63	UNKNOWN: CAVE OF BONES	78	The contemplation of death as a measure for sentience is so deep they had to put it in a cave.	Quirky tale of a life’s work coming to fruition. Fun stuff.
64	M3GAN	77	This went off the deep end when Megan started killing people that had no bearing to keeping her friend safe.	This should not have been as good as it was.
65	SOUTH PARK: CRED	77		The whole show’s plot revolved around my job. It was too distracting…
66	FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S	77		I expected this to be a Bottom Ten entry but it surprised me with a little more story and sophistication than I thought would come from a Haunted Chuck E Cheese video game adaptation.
67	THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES	77		This was a lot better than I expected and it was all because of the strong performance of Tom Blythe.
68	GRAN TURISMO: THE MOVIE	77	Zoooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm	This was the year of passable video game adaptation or true stories of people who played video games so much they became race car drivers .

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

69	THE GREAT HEISMAN RACE OF 1997	76		I enjoyed watching this with Collin, a new fan of football. He thought Manning won for sure, and I did some of my best acting ever when he asked me when the last time a defensive player won the Heisman…
70	SOUTH PARK: JOINING THE PANDERVERSE	76		One of the better South Park episodes of the last several years. Definitely started a conversation online, and in true South Park fashion, everyone thinks is means exactly what they think.
71	HUNGER	76	Fantastic addition to the Food Movie genre	Well acted and always interesting to see compelling foreign films from countries other than the usual ones like France or India.
72	A GOOD PERSON	76		A good movie but missing some elements to make it memorable.
73	THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE	76	Better than it should have been.	The right blend of silly fun, surprisingly powerful nostalgia, and great animation.
74	UNKNOWN: COSMIC TIME MACHINE	76	Tough to make a thriller out of a success story, but still very cool.	Neat story about a technology that brings joy to my Instagram account.
75	SCOUTS HONOR	76		So proud of the former Youth Investigator for turning down a severance so he didn’t have to sign an NDA.
76	SHAZAM! FURY OF THE GODS	75	Entire movie felt like it should have been a holiday special.	A perfectly cromulent movie that, like Black Adam, seemed from a simpler time…
77	THE JEWEL THIEF	75		I love how the other people in the doc tell you the main subject is lying in his interviews. So funny…
78	BIOSPHERE	75		A little too weird to be great, but always respect for indie scifi dramedy effort….
79	SLY	75		I enjoyed the look at his career, but it was very clear he wanted us to see him as a very serious actor…to the point of him re-creating scenes from his movie in the interviews to show how powerful it was.
80	MISSING: THE LUCY BLACKMAN CASE	75		Interesting true crime doc about police work in Japan. The officers make the doc pop.
81	MISSING	75	This series continues to produce some great stories, I hope they make ten more.	Fun sequel to a movie I really liked, but did NOT stick the landing
82	THE SAINTS OF SECOND CHANCES	75		I like these “crazy days of baseball” movies.
83	1000% ME: GROWING UP MIXED	74		They interviewed some very charismatic kids who explained a complicated subject in a very easy to understand way.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

84	YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH	74	I’m glad bat mitzvah aged girls have a movie for them. Not for me.	I could tell this was a smart, well-made YA movie, but I am not the target audience.
85	ANT-MAN: QUANTUMANIA	74	Meaningless, pandering drivel.	I think this is better than Ryan suggests. It just suffers from a spoiled fanbase.
86	A MAN CALLED OTTO	74		Use every dirty trick to move your heart strings and it tends to work…
87	NO HARD FEELINGS	74	A forgettable movie with one unforgettable scene	Dumb fun that just doesn’t work as theatrical releases anymore.
88	CREED 3	74		The franchise got weaker each installment, but none of them were bad…
89	BLUE BEETLE	74	When you’re watching a movie and think “Thank god George Lopez is in this!” that’s not a good sign	This movie was fine. I feel bad it fell in the wake of some turds like Black Adam.
90	LEO	74	This movie is FAR FAR better than it had any right to be, and one of the songs near the end has some of the best lyrics ever penned.	This was a nice cartoon, but I was expecting more irreverant humor and it was all-ages friendly. A little too tame for the Watson who doesn’t have young kids.
91	THE CREATOR	73	It’s like nobody even watches The Princess Bride anymore	Really well crafted. Great FX. Story goes South in the third act. I hate movies that rely on the “everyone turns stupid so the heroes can succeed” button. That happens here, big time!
92	GHOSTED	73	It’s good to know if I’m ever kidnapped in London and taken to Pakistan while I’m knocked out at least my assailants will bring my luggage.	This movie was was good, silly fun. If I saw it at the theater, I would have said “that should have been on a streamer” so since it was, I liked it.
93	STEPHEN CURRY: UNDERRATED	73		The doc is neither underrated nor overrated. It was just rated. I like Curry, but I do dislike this trend of famous people telling their own stories.
94	STAN LEE	73		An interesting figure but this shed a little light on the controversy between him and his fellow Marvel creators.
95	DALILAND	72		A fantastic performance by Kingsley, but a pretty average biopic.
96	BEING MARY TYLER MOORE	72		A true pioneer in entertainment.
97	SCREAM 6	72	Great concept, but except for the fantastic convenience store scene this wasn’t really in NYC.	One of the better installments, but it would have been better if they never made Scream 5. I love the universe they have where copycats make sense, but man has this series gotten redundant.
98	LEGION OF SUPERHEROES	72		A passably fun DCAU feature.
99	THE HATCHET WIELDING HITCHHIKER	72		Shocking that this guy’s story ended poorly.
100	HYPNOTIC	72	Ben Affleck may have helped get this movie made, but I feel like a better lead could have made this a truly great film	This is one of those movies that was REALLY close to being special but missed the mark. It felt like it wanted to be a Memento or Inception but Rodriguez just couldn’t unlike the Nolan magic.
101	UNTOLD: JAKE PAUL PROBLEM CHILD	71	I came out respecting some people, which shocked me	Entirely passable use of 2:10 of my life.
102	FLAMIN’ HOT	71	Feel good story that doesn’t gloss over the negative parts.	Unlike the Flaming Hot variety, this movie was a little cheesy. Still, it had its moments.
103	THE EQUALIZER 3	71		Much better than the second one, which fell far from the quality of the original installment. Enjoyed it for a weeknight PVOD rental.
104	WHAM!	71	Gave me even more respect for George Michael	ADEQUATE!
105	ELEMENTAL	71		Pretty animation. Kind of an unexceptional script.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

106	BATMAN: THE DOOM THAT CAME TO GOTHAM	71		I think I am getting tired of every other DCAU movie being about Batman in an Elseworlds setting.
107	UNTOLD: HALL OF SHAME	71	For a documentary about baseball cheating I wish it did more than cover the bases	I mainly remember that the BALCO headquarters is just down the street from my office in the Bay Area.
108	LOST IN THE ARTIC	71		Don’t expect an ending. File this under the “nice try” header.
109	THE WEEKND: LIVE AT SOFI STADIUM	70	This is way better than seeing a concert in person.	Made me want to see a Weeknd concert in person but not watch this again.
110	SARAH SILVERMAN: SOMEONE YOU LOVE	70	One outstanding Holocaust joke and the rest was meh	It passed the time, and had some funny moments, but it didn’t really catch fire very often.
111	REGGIE	70		Paint by numbers doc of an interesting life.
112	TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS	70	This was a blast, far better than any Transformers movie should be	Definitely the best non-Bumblebee Transformers movie since the original. Not great, but leagues better than the other sequels.
113	BYE BYE BARRY	70		This falls into my “60 Minutes” rule of documentaries. I enjoyed the content and the focus of the doc, but this story could have been told in a single segment of CBS’s newsmagazine 60 Minutes instead of a feature length documentary,
114	THE DEVIL ON TRIAL	70		It waits too long in the story to introduce skepticism.
115	UNKNOWN: KILLER ROBOTS	70	I wanted this to be more probing (pun partially intended)	They tried to do too much and tell multiple important stories; doing none of them justice.
116	THE MOTHER	70	Even in an action film they managed to feature J-Lo’s butt.	This was a movie of 2023.
117	VICTIM/SUSPECT	70	2023 really wants you to know Alabama sucks.	Maddening but Mediocre. The film covers a powerful subject but the filmmaking is unworthy of the material.
118	ANNA SMITH: YOU DON’T KNOW ME	70		Made me feel sorry for Anna but not much else…
119	MONEY SHOT: THE PORNHUB STORY	69	You have to admire the documentarians that manage to make half a movie about porn boring.	The best thing about this doc is the title.
120	PAMELA, A LOVE STORY	65		“Thinking is overrated” is a line Pamela uses that captures why she’s struggled with her love stories, other than her sweet relationship with her kids.
121	WE HAVE A GHOST	65	We have a franchise!	Ugh. This movie was so boring. I liked some of the performances, but this movie was for children. And Ryan…

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

122	65	65		I was expecting a trainwreck and instead got a fender bender. This movie would have done well in 2012.
123	80 FOR BRADY	63		The kind of movie that will be my Mom’s favorite movie of 2023.
124	MATT RIFE: NATURAL SELECTION	62	This was total garbage. Rife has some good moments on stage and I’ve seen plenty of clips, I was hoping that would translate into a good set but it did not at all	This was a passable hour of time killing. But apparently he’s taking heat for the opening joke…
125	YOU PEOPLE	62	Missed opportunity for something great, but still good.	A real missed opportunity. Had some great moments in the third act but they felt unearned by a choppy start.
126	MURDER MYSTERY 2	61	Perfect airplane movie.	The first part was a decent movie that could have been better if they leaned into the parlour room murder mystery tropes. This film, they leaned the exact opposite direction…
127	THE BOY AND THE HERON	60		This was the first film by Hayao Miyazaki I had ever seen and it continued to prove anime is just not for me. I was bored to tears and the only thing that kept the film out of my bottom ten was that the animation is indeed beautiful.
128	THE OUT-LAWS	58	Best Bond joke ever.	Out-Laws was a “I watched it on the couch on a Friday. Gave it a bad score. Glad I watched. Would watch 1 of that quality every month” movies.
129	TAKE CARE OF MAYA	55	Fuck Florida	I’m not sure they convinced me of their conclusion, but their triumphant music definitely thought they did. A subject that needed objectivity.
130	JUSTICE LEAGUE: WARWORLD	53		Pretty mediocre story that was part of a movie.
131	CHARLES: IN HIS OWN WORDS	51		This felt like the royal family had a man in the editing bay. Definitely a sympathetic look at a guy without exploring his faults as well as they should have.
132	THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER	50		It wasn’t scary and it was a little boring…
133	THE PALE BLUE EYE	50	I mean, that guy REALLY looks like Edgar Allen Poe.	Cousin Dudley was good but there wasn’t much of a film around him.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

134	AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM	50	50? 50? How high were you when you watched this??? This was utter and complete bullshit.	Did I miss the story that George Lucas wrote and directed this movie? It’s just like one of the Prequels. Momoa does his best but they didn’t give him anything to work with. Sadly, despite being a fan, this isn’t my last entry in the bottom ten featuring JM.
135	WANDERING EARTH 2	50	Boooooo. Big science fiction with big conflict over big consequences–and it looked incredible. Loved this one almost as much as the original.	I’ll admit it… It is a good looking film. Sadly, “Wandering Earth” is how you say “Michael Bay” in Mandarin…
136	HOUSE PARTY	47	The best movie ever produced by LeBron James.	I liked the parts that didn’t focus on the leads or their romantic interests. Sadly, that was like 10% of the movie.
137	THE POPE’S EXORCIST	45		Plodding in a way that makes plodding movies seem less plodding.
138	YOUR PLACE OR MINE	45	An innocent, fun rom com like the 90s used to make.	Every dumb cliche and bad script choice possible went into the making of this movie…
139	RETRIBUTION	35		It wouldn’t be my list without a Liam NEESON movie near the bottom. They spend no money on script or production values. None
140	BIG GEORGE FOREMAN: THE MIRACULOUS STORY OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD	30		I grew up in the suburb where George Foreman lived. I went to high school with one or two of the George/Georgias. This movie should have been a slam dunk for me, but boy was it a miss. I think they tried to make a faith based movie and sports bio movie at the same time; failing the target audiences for both.
141	KNIGHTS OF THE ZODIAC	27	The only thing that made sense in this movie was Sean Bean dying	I was so certain this would be in Ryan’s top ten for the year that I practically begged him to watch it. Sadly, he didn’t like it either.
142	THE MEG 2: THE TRENCH	25		This movie was so insultingly dumb. The original wasn’t high art, but it was fun. This leaned into every bad part of the original without the dash of charm that made the first one fun.
143	FAST X	10	Great cameos, great chases, great use of nitrous–what else could you want??	Worst X-Men movie ever…

 

 

By: William Watson

In the streaming, post-covid era, media has changed.  I started a couple of years ago ignoring where the film was released (Theatrical releases only giving way to include streamers, TV/HBO movies, and Direct to PVOD).  Now, because the water is so muddy, I have added “specials”…the new format that exceeds the Oscar’s runtime definition of a Feature Film, but which is a singular entry that has a beginning, middle, and end.  Which is pretty much the definition of a movie, so here we are.

Enough boring navel gazing.  Here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY

It is no secret that I love Weird Al.  I’ve seen him in concert three times; the last time as recently as October when he talked about how excited he was about this completely fabricated biopic.  And it was excellent.  On the down side, it almost ruined my relationship when, a couple of months before the release, my sweet girlfriend asked me “You hear they are making a Weird Al movie with Harry Potter?”  I should have just said yes.  Lessons learned.

9. MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

Jenny Slate should legitimately be in Oscar contention for voicing this AMAZING character.  Watch this and you will never watch the opening to 60 Minutes the same way ever again.

8. CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH

Probably the most obscure movie on my top ten, but this Apple TV+ movie is the continuation of a smart drama run that led Apple to win Best Picture last year with CODA.  Writer/Director/Star Cooper Raiff is someone who is going to be the next big thing.

7. THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

Collin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson deliver great performances that make a slow movie seem more fast paced.  But is this supposed to be a comedy or a drama?  You change your mind scene to scene.

6. VENGEANCE

A movie you thought was going to just make fun of rural texas but surprises you with a ton of heart and charm.  Great first film by B.J. Novak of The Office fame.

5. BULLET TRAIN

This is the kind of film that really hits the mark for me.  Comedy always on the edge of violence. Somewhere between “Bad Time at the El Royale” and Tarantino Lite.

4. THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

Such a hilarious bit of self-deprecation by Cage, proving he is very much in on the joke that fueled million memes. This was a movie that could only be made with Nic Cage…well… MAYBE Jeff Goldblum could have done it as well…

3. GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY

He did it again! He may not be able to make a Star Wars movie to save his life but damn can Rian Johnson spin a Benoit Blanc yarn! Amazing timing that he wrote and filmed this movie well before Elon went into full Twitter meltdown mode.  Can’t wait for the sequel.

2. THE MENU

Like Bullet Train, The Menu makes you laugh until it scares the hell out of you. So grim. So funny. A movie that was truly…delicious!

NUMBER ONE!

I flirted with having The Menu and Glass Onion as #1 but in the end, my gut check said it had to be…

1. EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

For someone who doesn’t like the idea of my superhero movies being consumed by telling cheap multiversal stories, I am also surprised that my top pick was ENTIRELY about the multiverse.  But THIS is how you use the premise.  Not for cheap cameos or to “undo” stories that you don’t like.  You use the infinite nature of reality to tell a great story about families. If this very original movie doesn’t win best original screenplay, they should discontinue the category.

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  This one is filled with franchises that should die off or attempts to create ones that should have never existed.

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10. Jurassic World: Dominion

They had this cool premise that dinosaurs walk among us, and then they set it in a remote location. WTF!?!? It could have been a zombie movie with dinosaurs but instead they put out…this?  I would have rather just seen Jeff Goldblum vamping for 2 hours.

9. Ticket to Paradise

I love Clooney and Roberts but someone should have pulled them aside and said this kind of movie is not what audiences want anymore.  Or at least send it to streaming. This movie should have been made in the late 90s. Sure, it would have been bad then, but at least it would be in my past.

8. Firestarter

I used the DVD photo for this article because this felt like an old school, straight to DVD movie.  Not a day and date release.  Not a Streaming entry.  A freaking Red Box exclusive… Sure the original was bad, but it was fun. This one was just bad.

7. Marry Me

When my girlfriend passed on watching this romcom with me, I should have taken the hint. This movie was more painful that using a weedeater to manscape.

6. Morbius

This is the first superhero movie since the beginning of Gabbing Geek that I didn’t see in the theaters (other than during the pandemic). My favorite thing about this movie was how the internet tricked Sony into expanding it after in flopped…only to see it flop a second time.

5. Halloween Ends

You promise? This is the end. Thank goodness. They took a  smart reboot that essentially made fun of horror sequels and then made two very awful sequels.

4. Memory

I wish they had forgotten to release this turd.  LIAM NEESON! always manages to find a way into my bottom ten.  I literally watch a movie of his every year to keep his streak alive.

3. PINOCCHIO

Oh, Tom Hanks. You’ve brought me $15 dollars worth of joy over the years, so I will let you slide.

2. INTERCEPTOR

A film that made Fast and the Furious look like My Dinner With Andre.  So bad they added VERY out of place celebrity cameos for slapstick comedy.

1. MOONFALL

A film so bad, I BEGGED Ryan to watch in the hopes he would love it and I could ridicule him for years.  He live blogged his reactions with audio texts to me most of the film.  Oddly, because Ryan’s movie tastes are so erratic, I couldn’t tell until he rated it his lowest film as well that he didn’t like it…

Final Thoughts

I was not enamored with the movies Hollywood thinks should be on the big screen.  I am tired of the big movies having to be so overwhelmingly big that they ignore story and character.  It is no surprise that my Top Ten were all original, non-franchise films with the sole exception of the Knives Out sequel, which itself was a the breath of fresh air of 2019.

The movie business has changed and if they keep delivering smart movies like the ones in my top ten, I guess I can live with a cameo of Henry Cavill, Brandon Routh, Helen Slater, Christopher Reeve, and Kirk Alyn in the next Superman movie…

Full List (#1-150)

RANK

MOVIE

STARS

LOCALE

GENRE

DATE WATCHED

WATSON SAYS:

RYAN SAYS:

ALL-TIME GREATS

A couple were close, but no movies hit that high mark this year.

EXCELLENT

ORDER	MOVIE	STARS	LOCALE	GENRE	Stephanie WATCHED	RUNTIME	Ryan Says:	Franchise	Budget	Company	Watson Says:
1	EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, ALL AT ONCE	9.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	4/9/2022	2:19:00	A flawless movies about the power of choice and the evil of carbs.	N	Medium	Solo	If this original movie doesn’t win best original screenplay, they should discontinue the category.
2	THE MENU	9.5	FIRST RUN	HORROR	11/23/2022	1:47:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	So grim. So funny. A movie that was truly…delicious!
3	GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY	9.5	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	11/24/2022	2:19:00	Best part? Benoit Blanc saying Clue sucks.	Y	Medium	Group	He did it again! He may not be able to make a Star Wars movie to save his life but damn can Rian Johnson spin a Benoit Blanc yarn!

STRONG ENTRIES

4	THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT	9	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	5/7/2022	1:46:00	If this were any more meta, I’d work for it.	N	Medium	Stephanie	A movie that could only be made with Nic Cage…well… MAYBE Jeff Goldblum could have done it as well…
5	BULLET TRAIN	8.5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	8/5/2022	2:06:00	A fun movie where the water bottle steals the show.	N	High	Stephanie	In that “Bad Time at the El Royale” wheelhouse…
6	VENGEANCE	8.5	PEACOCK	DRAMA	9/23/2022	1:47:00	Why should you see this movie? BECAUSE IT’S RIGHT THERE!	N	Low	Solo	A movie you thought was going to just make fun of rural texas but surprises you.
7	THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	11/16/2022	1:54:00	I haven’t laughed this hard since the potato famine.	N	Low	Solo	Great performances that make a slow movie seem more fast paced.
8	CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH	8.5	APPLE TV+	DRAMA	6/20/2022	1:47:00	Why are the best coming of age movies about people 25 years younger than I am? Or is that how much older I have to be to appreciate them?	N	Low	Solo	One of those movies that make you want to see more from this young auteur.
9	MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	6/30/2022	1:30:00	Yet another film that really calls for the tampon to get more story time.	N	Low	Solo	The only word you can use to describe this movie is “charming”.
10	WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY	8.5	ROKU	COMEDY	11/5/2022	1:48:00	A movie about the greatest musical parody artist with a cameo by the greatest rock and roll artist.	N	Low	Group	I love Al and really enjoyed this movie, but I think if I wasn’t a diehard it would rank a little lower.
11	SOUTH PARK: THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY CONCERT	8.5	PARAMOUNT+	SPECIAL	10/31/2022	1:39:00		Y	Low	Solo	This concert has replaced “the Beatles playing on the roof” as the concert I most wish I had seen live…
12	DEATH ON THE NILE	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	2/11/2022	2:07:00	Who chewed more scenery, Branagh’s mustache or Armie Hammer?	Y	Medium	Stephanie	I liked the first installment, but damn if Branaugh didn’t find a new gear with this performance. Please make a third, WB!

VERY GOOD

13	THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY HOLIDAY SPECIAL	8.5	DISNEY+	SPECIAL	11/25/2022	0:45:00	I can’t decide what’s better: Kevin Bacon officially being in the MCU or DCEU officially being in the MCU.	Y	Medium	Solo	This needs to be their special model: film one concurrently with a big budget film so you can make it feel as premium as feature at a lower cost budget.
14	ELVIS	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	6/25/2022	2:39:00	How is the best movie about Elvis as an artist told from his manager’s perspective? Amazing direction.	N	High	Stephanie	A movie that moved up several spots the more I thought about.
15	TOP GUN: MAVERICK	8.5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	6/17/2022	2:09:00	At first I was going to ding this movie for not using the “need for speed” line until I realized that line WAS THE ENTIRE MOVIE.	Y	High	Solo	A movie endorsed by Jack Mecone. That was good enough for America…
16	THE WHALE	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	12/21	1:57:00		N	Low	Solo	Excellent performances but I could tell it was an adaptation of a stage play before I saw that in the credits.
17	GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO	8.5	NETFLIX	ADVENTURE	12/11	1:54:00	Yes, Guillermo, we get your dark vision. But we didn’t need an animated movie about accepting death.	N	High	Solo	The best Pinocchio movie ever was not made by Disney. Del Toro has Best Animated Feature in the bag.
18	WHO KILLED SANTA? A MURDERVILLE MURDER MYSTERY	8.5	NETFLIX	SPECIAL	12/18	0:52:00	This is a triple stuff Oreo. Good stuff, but proportions are off.	Y	Medium	Stephanie	I love this series and was waiting for the Bateman team up.
19	RRR	8.5	NETFLIX	BOLLYWOOD	12/18	3:07:00		N	Medium	Group	This movie had everything. It even had a previously on in the middle of the film.
20	THE FABELMANS	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	11/27/2022	2:31:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	Imagine being the kid cast to play a young Steven Spielberg in a movie directed by Steven Spielberg.
21	CLERKS III	8.5	Q&A EVENT	COMEDY	11/14/2022	1:55:00		Y	Low	Group	Smith’s best movie since Dogma. The Q&A afterwards was a big plus.
22	THE WOMAN KING	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	10/25/2022	2:15:00	I have a feeling this will be the film Black Panther 2 wishes it could be.	N	Medium	Solo	Wow…Ryan nailed it with his comment…
23	TILL	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	10/29/2022	2:10:00	I’m glad the team got to tell the story they wanted, I just wish it had included more elements from the actual events	N	Medium	Solo	An impressive movie, but a little paint by numbers.
24	JERRY AND MARGE GO LARGE	8.5	PARAMOUNT+	DRAMA	7/1/2022	1:36:00	The lesson here is to always buy lottery tickets where there is gas station nacho cheese.	N	Medium	Stephanie	The perfect Friday night streaming movie. This is where adult, mid budget movies should go.
25	THE OUTFIT	8.5	PEACOCK	DRAMA	6/5/2022	1:45:00	Clothes haven’t been this deadly since Navalny.	N	Low	Solo	It is amazing that we had to wait until he was in his later years to get Mark Rylance. Glad he left Royal Shakespeare to make movies.
26	NAVALNY	8.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	6/3/2022	1:38:00	You cannot fight Russia with commandos, you fight Russia by going commando.	N	Low	Solo	This is the reason you should hate Vladimir Putin. Well…there may be other reasons, but this one too.

GOOD MOVIES

27	BODIES BODIES BODIES	8.5	FIRST RUN	HORROR	8/27/2022	1:35:00		N	Low	Stephanie	A cast so (intentionally) unlikeable, you get happy when the deaths start.
28	FIRE OF LOVE	8.5	DISNEY+	DOCUMENTARY	11/26/2022	1:33:00	I want a whole movie about the boat ride on an acid lake.	N	Low	Stephanie	Shocking that these folks died at the hands of a volcano.
29	BLACK AND BLUES: THE COLORFUL BALLAD OF LOUIS ARMSTRONG	8.5	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	11/13/2022	1:46:00		N	Low	Solo	Amazing how much modern pop and soul music owes to Armstrong.
30	HONOR SOCIETY	8.5	PARAMOUNT+	COMEDY	12/12	1:37:00	If Easy A and Election had a baby it wouldn’t be this movie but they’d be related.	N	Low	Solo	If you are going to knock off Election, at least be this charming.
31	TAR	8	PVOD	DRAMA	12/29	2:38:00		N	Medium	Solo	Great performance but man is this pretentious?
32	NEVER STOP DREAMING: THE LIFE AND LEGACY OF SHIMON PERES	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	7/17/2022	2:09:00		N	Low	Solo	The Forrest Gump of Israel
33	THE PHANTOM OF THE OPEN	8	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	7/1/2022	1:46:00		N	Low	Solo	More Rylance. He’s so good.
34	BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO THE UNIVERSE	8	PARAMOUNT+	ANIMATED	6/26/2022	1:26:00		Y	Medium	Solo	Oddly relevant and funny 30 years after their debut
35	NOPE	8	FIRST RUN	HORROR	8/4/2022	2:10:00	This is why you should only get rescue pets that are already housebroken.	N	Medium	Stephanie	Yup
36	HUSTLE	8	NETFLIX	DRAMA	6/10/2022	1:58:00	If you told me Adam Sandler would make an excellent movie about balling I would not have predicted this film.	N	Medium	Stephanie	The perfect blend of comedy Wedding Singer Sandler and Uncut Gems Sandler makes a really good film
37	THE BLACK PHONE	8	PEACOCK	HORROR	12/30	1:42:00		N	Medium	Group	A surprisingly clever horror premise with a SHOCKINGLY good story.
38	SR.	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	12/6	1:30:00	A good documentary teaches you about something you never knew. A great documentary makes you instantly want to learn more about it. This is the latter.	N	Medium	Solo	The man who would play Iron Man was the son of the biggest indie director ever. A touching self-therapy session where we got to come along for the ride.
39	CHIP ‘N DALE: RESCUE RANGERS	8	DISNEY+	ANIMATED	5/20/2022	1:36:00	I found a single three second gap where they didn’t try to cram in a joke.	Y	Medium	Stephanie	A great send up of cop shows and Hollywood
40	THE ADAM PROJECT	8	NETFLIX	ADVENTURE	3/11/2022	1:46:00	Bad science but good fun	N	High	Stephanie	Ryan Reynolds doing Streaming movies is a very good development
41	PREY	8	HULU	HORROR	8/7/2022	1:40:00	The best science fiction franchise film based on an MC Hammer song I’ve ever seen.	Y	Medium	Group	This franchise SHOULD have died decades ago. Now I’m glad it didn’t.
42	SPIRITED	8	APPLE TV+	COMEDY	11/19/2022	2:07:00	It’s a family musical that managed to work in a “Fuck You!” song. How do you have this so low?	N	Medium	Stephanie	Ryan Reynolds doing Streaming movies is a very good development
43	2022: BACK THAT YEAR UP	8	PEACOCK	SPECIAL	12/26/2022	1:11	Worth it for Nick Cannon’s parenting advice alone.	N	Low	Solo	Does Tucker Carlson really know you are not supposed to fuck M&Ms?
44	GOOD NIGHT OPPY	8	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	11/27/2022	1:45:00	The better, smarter, and more emotional Wall-E. And it’s true.	N	Low	Solo	What would your wake up song be?
45	BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	11/10/2022	2:41:00	This is the Rachel Trifle of Marvel films. All the parts may be good, but it doesn’t really go together well.	Y	High	Group	You felt the loss of Chadwick Boseman in so many ways.
46	WEREWOLF BY NIGHT	8	DISNEY+	SPECIAL	10/8/2022	0:54:00	A blast from start to finish. Go Ted!	Y	Medium	Solo	A fun special overshadowed a little by GotG.
47	UNTOLD: THE RACE OF THE CENTURY	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/18/2022	1:23:00	Less Untold and more Unremembered.	Y	Low	Solo	The best installment this “season” of a series of docs I always look forward to every year.
48	VIOLENT NIGHT	8	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	12/1/2022	1:41:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	Die Hard as a Christmas movie. Home Alone too!
49	ENOLA HOLMES 2	8	NETFLIX	ADVENTURE	11/6/2022	2:10:00		Y	Medium	Solo	If you liked the first one, you’ll like this one.
50	SEE HOW THEY RUN	8	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	9/15/2022	1:38:00	If this were any more meta it’d be Bullet Train.	N	Low	Solo	This movie was designed for me to love, but I only liked it.
51	THE REDEEM TEAM	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	10/8/2022	1:38:00		N	Medium	Solo	Fun doc, but wish it had been independently produced instead of coming from LeBron/DWade
52	FACING NOLAN	8	AIRPLANE	DOCUMENTARY	9/3/2022	1:41:00		N	Medium	Solo	Fun doc, but wish it had been independently produced instead of coming from The Nolan Family.
53	DC LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS	8	FIRST RUN	ANIMATED	8/10/2022	1:46:00		Y	High	Group	The post-credit scene was the best part.
54	THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	7/7/2022	1:59:00	You’re trying too hard when you try and make an axe funny.	Y	High	Group	A huge step down from Ragnarok.
55	JACKASS FOREVER	8	PARAMOUNT+	COMEDY	4/1/2022	1:36:00	The definition of mindless entertainment.	Y	Low	Stephanie	I am embarrassed I watched it. I am even more embarrassed I enjoyed it.
56	THE BATMAN	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	3/3/2022	2:56:00	This movie was so dark they had to film it all at night	Y	High	Group	They could have shaved 30 minutes eliminating Batman walking everywhere in slow motion.
57	CONFESS, FLETCH	8	PVOD	COMEDY	10/25/2022	1:38:00	Not good enough for Netflix to buy the next two films, but a fun whodunnit.	Y	Medium	Solo	I like Jon Hamm, and I am always happy to see him in something like this.
58	APOLLO 10 1/2: A SPACE AGE CHILDHOOD	8	NETFLIX	ANIMATED	5/25/2022	1:30:00		N	Medium	Solo	More of a love letter to NASA and Houston.
59	CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL: CONCERT AT PRINCE ALBERT HALL AND HOW THEY GOT THERE	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/28/2022	1:26:00		N	Low	Solo	Such a good documentary concert, CCR was my #1 band on the Spotify for all of 2022. And it came out in September.

DECENT FLICKS

60	AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	12/26	3:12:00	I am sick and fucking tired of James Cameron making me cry with animated characters in amazing movies.	Y	High	Group	Overindulgent runtime. Could have shaved an hour. A total five on the story but with a score of 11 on visuals, it balances out to an 8.
61	LIGHTYEAR	8	FIRST RUN	ANIMATED	5/19/2022	1:40:00		Y	High	Group	This movie was better than the public reaction would lead you to believe.
62	GRAY MAN	8	NETFLIX	ACTION	8/7/2022	2:02:00	Yet another movie that proves every Ryan Gosling film takes place in the same universe.	N	High	Stephanie	This would have been a stinker on the big screen. On Netflix? Just fine…
63	SELENA GOMEZ: MY MIND AND ME	8	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	12/27	1:42:00	Through her off-camera work and this on-camera documentary, Selena Gomez has done an impressive amount to change the discussion of mental health.	N	High	Solo	Appreciated her journey around her mental health but the rest didn’t quite connect with me.
64	TONY HAWK: UNTIL THE WHEELS FALL OFF	8	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	5/4/2022	2:15:00		N	Medium	Solo	The footage of him attempting the first ever 900 was a lesson in perseverance.
65	THE LOST CITY	8	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	4/3/2022	1:51:00	Romancing the Bone(head)	N	Medium	Stephanie	A good date night movie.
66	THE SOUND OF 007	8	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	11/15/2022	1:28:00	Great stories for great music, a fantastic bit for Bond fans.	Y	Low	Solo	A music doc you can put on, browse the internet, and not miss anything.
67	WATERGATE: HIGH CRIMES AT THE WHITE HOUSE	8	PARAMOUNT+	DOCUMENTARY	6/19/2022	2:00:00		N	Low	Solo	It was what you’d expect.
68	THE BAD GUYS	8	PVOD	ANIMATED	6/4/2022	1:39:00	Heist movie to steal your heart but doesn’t quite succeed.	N	Medium	Solo	A movie I thought Ryan would like more…
69	HALLELUJAH: LEONARD COHEN, A JOURNEY, A SONG	8	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	10/24/2022	1:55:00		N	Low	Solo	A quirky doc about a quirky guy who wrote a quirky song that turned into a banger…
70	ALL THE OLD KNIVES	8	AMAZON	ACTION	4/22/2022	1:43:00	Clever spy whodunnit with no good guys.	N	Medium	Stephanie	Nice framing device really boosted a normal spy thriller.
71	AMBULANCE	8	FIRST RUN	ACTION	4/8/2022	2:16:00		N	High	Stephanie	The best Michael Bay movie since the 90s.
72	WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING	8	PVOD	DRAMA	12/2/2022	2:05:00	Solid by-the-numbers outsider mystery.	N	Medium	Stephanie	More an exploration of life in the Atlantic Coast than a mystery.
73	CAUSEWAY	8	APPLE TV+	DRAMA	11/20/2022	1:32:00	It’s fine and completely forgettable.	N	Low	Solo	Great acting. Boring movie.
74	PRINCE & THE REVOLUTION: LIVE	8	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	7/5/2022	1:57:00		N	Low	Solo	Why the hell didn’t I ever see Prince live? This was the next best thing…

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

75	WOMEN TALKING		FIRST RUN	DRAMA	12/29	1:44:00		N	Medium	Solo	Well acted and very important, but man did it drag…
76	BATMAN AND SUPERMAN: BATTLE OF THE SUPER SONS	8	PVOD	ANIMATED	12/16	1:20:00		Y	Low	Solo	One of the better DCAU entries.
77	THE GREATEST BEER RUN EVER	7.5	APPLE TV+	COMEDY	11/11/2022	2:06:00		N	Medium	Solo	This movie was…fine…
78	I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY	7.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	12/25	2:22:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	A perfectly cromulent movie.
79	SHE SAID	7.5	PVOD	DRAMA	12/7	2:08:00		N	Medium	Solo	Where the book really worked, the movie couldn’t quite get there. This story wasn’t a Disney moment…it was tons of slogging, hard work.
80	THE TINDER SWINDLER	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	2/5/2022	1:54:00	This gritty remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels wasn’t funny at all.	N	Low	Stephanie	Caveat emptor.
81	DOG	7.5	PVOD	COMEDY	3/11/2022	1:41:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	It had its moments, but needed more.
82	GREEN LANTERN: BEWARE MY POWER	7.5	HBO MAX	ANIMATED	10/25/2022	1:28:00		Y	Medium	Solo	Solid entry for DC animated.
83	THE ANTHRAX ATTACKS	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/11/2022	1:35:00		N	Low	Solo	Interesting topic. Mediocre doc.
84	OPERATION: MINCEMEAT	7.5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	5/21/2022	2:08:00		N	Low	Solo	Colin Firth is all I remember.
85	THE PRINCESS	7.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	10/26/2022	1:34:00		N	Low	Solo	Charles was a royal pain.
86	SOUTH PARK: THE STREAMING WARS VOL 1	7.5	PARAMOUNT+	SPECIAL	6/1/2022	0:48:00		Y	Medium	Solo	A step down from the pandemic specials.
87	WHITE HOT: THE RISE AND FALL OF ABERCROMBIE & FITCH	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	5/1/2022	1:28:00		N	Low	Solo	A hard doc to watch while eating a whole bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
88	UNTOLD: THE GIRLFRIEND WHO DIDN’T EXIST	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	8/5/2022	2:04:00	Now we know that Manti is as dumb as his catfisher is an awful person.	Y	Low	Solo	I had not heard about what happened after the scandal broke.
89	SONICE THE HEDGEHOG	7.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	5/14/2022	2:02:00	He’s not just nice, he’s SOOOO nice	Y	High	Solo	A typo from early in the year that is too funny to correct.
90	GLADBECK: THE HOSTAGE CRISIS	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	6/12/2022	1:31:00	This movie proves how bad Germans are at American impressions.	N	Low	Solo	I feel like this would have ended in 15 minutes in the U.S.
91	GHISLAINE MAXWELL: FILTHY RICH	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	11/27/2022	1:45:00		N	Low	Solo	If you’ve seen the Epstein doc (from the same director), you’ve seen this…
92	LUCY AND DESI	7.5	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	3/8/2022	1:42:00		N	Low	Solo	Amazon’s biopic last year was enough for me.
93	KIMI	7.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	2/13/2022	1:29:00		N	Medium	Solo	Pandemic films freak me out.
94	THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	7/6/2022	1:41:00	I still have no idea what happened here.	N	Low	Solo	I don’t remember this movie very much.
95	UNCHARTED	7.5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	2/18/2022	1:56:00	First Uncharted I finished in less than 2 hours.	Y	High	Stephanie	Not great, but I would see a sequel.
96	UNTOLD: THE RISE AND FALL OF AND1	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/16/2022	1:09:00	Who would have thought that a few white guys would figure out a way to get rich off of the work of black and poor people?	Y	Low	Solo	That Nike commercial that crushed And1 is still amazing.
97	LOU	7.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	10/4/2022	1:49:00	I am all about this new genre of “Liam Neeson Movies But Without Liam Neeson”	N	Low	Solo	Allison Janney is the saving grace of this meh movie.
98	BOB’S BURGER: THE MOVIE	7.5	HULU	ANIMATED	7/12/2022	1:42:00		Y	Medium	Solo	I don’t watch the show, and while this was ok, it didn’t compel me to watch the show.
99	THE JANES	7.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	6/9/2022	1:41:00		N	Low	Solo	Timely.
100	FANTASTIC BEASTS 3	7.5	PVOD	ADVENTURE	5/22/2022	2:22:00		Y	High	Solo	Better than Part 2, but not good enough to keep going back for more.
101	ENDANGERED	7.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	7/4/2022	1:30:00		N	Low	Solo	Nothing special.
102	THE NORTHMAN	7.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	4/29/2022	2:17:00	The ancient tale of where every European accent comes from.	N	Medium	Solo	Weird for the sake of weird at times that it would have helped NOT to be weird…
103	DOWNFALL: THE CASE AGAINST BOEING	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	2/21/2022	1:29:00		N	Low	Solo	How is Boeing still in business? Legal bribery is probably the answer.
104	2022 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS: THE HOUSTON ASTROS	7.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	12/6	1:30:00		Y	Low	Solo	I loved the ending but this was nothing more than a Sportscenter type recap.
105	RETURN TO SPACE	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	4/9/2022	2:08:00		N	Low	Solo	The only bright spot in Musk’s year.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

106	ME TIME	7	NETFLIX	COMEDY	8/27/2022	1:44:00	Sometimes you try to make a silly movie and you end up making a shitty movie.	N	Medium	Stephanie	Not bad for a Friday Netflix couch movie. Oddly, that’s TWO Wahlberg movies with a score of 7 or higher!
107	I WANT YOU BACK	7	AMAZON	COMEDY	2/26/2022	1:51:00	Half of a good movie. Sadly, it’s the second half.	N	Low	Stephanie	Where do you want my load?
108	LOVE, LIZZO	7	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	11/30/2022	1:32:00	A frustrating documentary that skips over anything that would make it interesting.	N	Low	Solo	Docs the seem to be made by the subject are not a great development. But I still love Lizzo.
109	RISE	7	DISNEY+	DRAMA	9/6/2022	1:53:00		N	Low	Solo	Felt like a Disney Channel movie instead of a Disney+ movie.
110	TRUST NO ONE: HUNT FOR THE CRYPTO KING	7	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	4/3/2022	1:30:00	You should’ve seen what the guy did with his Beanie Babies!	N	Low	Solo	I hope this turns out well for them…
111	FUGITIVE: THE CURIOUS CASE OF CARLOS GHOSN	7	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	11/1/2022	1:35:00		N	Low	Solo	Could have been so much better.
112	RETURN TO HOGWARTS	7	HBO MAX	SPECIAL	2/7/2022	1:45:00		Y	Medium	Solo	Why can’t she sell this franchise to WB?!?!
113	TURNING RED	7	DISNEY+	ANIMATED	3/12/2022	1:40:00	Clever family adventure with a ton of heart	N	Low	Group	This one was lost on me.
114	INTO THE DEEP: THE SUBMARINE MURDER CASE	7	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	10/1/2022	1:27:00		N	Low	Solo	Good subject with no narrative.
115	CATWOMAN: HUNTED	7	HBO MAX	ANIMATED	6/3/2022	1:19:00		Y	Low	Solo	Mediocre DC Animated.
116	CHERNOBYL: THE LOST TAPES	7	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	7/15/2022	1:35:00		N	Low	Solo	Good subject with no narrative.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

117	THE MAN FROM TORONTO	6.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	6/26/2022	1:52:00	Woody can be the new Liam.	N	Medium	Stephanie	A decent bad movie.
118	SENIOR YEAR	6.5	NETFLIX	COMEDY	5/20/2022	1:53:00	I liked the part when the cheerleaders got away with attempted murder.	N	Medium	Stephanie	I liked the premise, but I have been over Rebel Wilson.
119	SMILE	6.5	PARAMOUNT+	HORROR	12/28	1:55:00	Finally giving incels a reason to stop telling women to smile more.	N	Low	Solo	Barely even a grin.
120	THE MYSTERY OF MARILYN MONROE	6.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	5/1/2022	1:41:00	The real mystery is why the public can’t admit the truth about the Kennedys.	N	Low	Solo	I am not sure this was the best way to tell this story.
121	SOUTH PARK: THE STREAMING WARS VOL 2	6.5	PARAMOUNT+	SPECIAL	7/15/2022	0:51:00		Y	Medium	Solo	The second installment was not very good.
122	DEEP WATER	6.5	HULU	DRAMA	6/4/2022	1:56:00		N	Medium	Solo	Shocking this big budget movie got sold to HULU. Shocking!
123	THE DUKE	6.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	5/23/2022	1:36:00		N	Low	Solo	Great leads. Dull movie.
124	DR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS	6.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	5/5/2022	2:06:00	This would have been a much shorter movie if there was a spell that made people forget things.	Y	High	Group	There will be more good Marvel properties, but it definitely peaked at Endgame.
125	HOME TEAM	6.5	NETFLIX	COMEDY	2/6/2022	1:38:00	Ostensibly about football, but really about saving one boy’s butthole.	N	Medium	Stephanie	For a movie I rated poorly, I liked parts of it. Would have been better if it hadn’t been a Sandler produced flick.
126	BLACK ADAM	6.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	10/20/2022	2:05:00	DC tries to make Black Panther but without black people. Cool. Cool cool cool.	Y	High	Group	A superhero movie that would have been really impressive in 2004.
127	MEET CUTE	6.5	PEACOCK	COMEDY	12/23/2022	1:29:00		N	Medium	Group	The creepy dramedy side really impacts a cool time loop premise.
128	UNTOLD: OPERATION FLAGRANT FOUL	6.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/12/2022	1:17:00	Proof it is literally easier to take down the mob than the NBA.	Y	Low	Solo	There were times this one felt intellectually dishonest.
129	MOON SHOT	6.5	HBO MAX	COMEDY	6/4/2022	1:44:00		N	Low	Solo	Felt like a Disney Channel movie instead of an HBO Max movie.

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

130	LOOK BOTH WAYS	6.5	NETFLIX	COMEDY	8/26/2022	1:50:00	Either way, it sucks.	N	Low	Stephanie	I like seeing Austin in movies. That is all.
131	SPIDERHEAD	6.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	6/18/2022	1:47:00	Of all the movies that have been based on a board game, this is the weirdest	N	Medium	Stephanie	Hemsworth is charming but this movie wasn’t.
132	THE CONTRACTOR	6.5	PARAMOUNT+	ACTION	6/11/2022	1:43:00		N	Medium	Solo	Paint by numbers.
133	OUR FATHER	6.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	5/16/2022	1:37:00	He never had sex with them but he definitely screwed way too many people.	N	Low	Solo	Should have been a movie instead of a doc.
134	DAY SHIFT	6	NETFLIX	ACTION	8/23/2022	1:53:00		N	Medium	Solo	One good fight scene (really good!) couldn’t save this stinker.
135	THE 355	6	PVOD	ACTION	4/21/2022	2:04:00	Finally a movie named for how many days of the year you can see something better.	N	Medium	Solo	Great cast. Bad script. Terrible direction.
136	SCREAM	6	PVOD	HORROR	3/6/2022	1:54:00	These movies are so forgettable they even stopped making new titles	Y	Medium	Solo	Was this targeted at teens but still trying to trade on 90s nostalgia? Surprised it flopped.
137	MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU	5.5	PVOD	ANIMATED	8/11/2022	1:27:00	Michelle Yeoh makes everything better.	Y	High	Group	Just stop, already.
138	LAST SEEN ALIVE	5.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	11/28/2022	1:35:00	Imagine Taken but the lead doesn’t have any skills. That would be more interesting than this movie.	N	Medium	Solo	A bad movie, but you gotta respect Gerard Butler showing up to movies passed up by Mark Wahlberg, Channing Tatum, Liam Neeson, and now Allison Janney. #Respect
139	THE BUBBLE	5	NETFLIX	COMEDY	5/6/2022	2:06:00	Cinematic self-urination. Probably felt good at the time but super embarrassing when anyone else sees.	N	Medium	Stephanie	I wish it would have popped.
140	SAMARITAN	5	AMAZON	ADVENTURE	9/7/2022	1:39:00	Popcorn fun that could have been better if it hadn’t tried to be clever.	N	Medium	Solo	A movie that was so dull you don’t care that there was a decent twist.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

141	JURASSIC WORLD: DOMINION	5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	6/15/2022	2:40:00	This is literally a movie about bugs that happens to have dinosaurs in it.	Y	High	Stephanie	I would have rather just seen Jeff Goldblum vamping for 2 hours.
142	TICKET TO PARADISE	5	PVOD	COMEDY	11/13/2022	1:44:00		N	Medium	Stephanie	This movie should have been made in the late 90s. Sure, it would have been bad then, but it would be in my past.
143	FIRESTARTER	4.5	PEACOCK	HORROR	6/5/2022	1:34:00	When Zac Efron cried horribly fake tears of blood we all cried horribly fake tears of blood.	Y	Medium	Solo	Sure the original was bad, but it was fun. This one was just bad.
144	MARRY ME	4	PEACOCK	COMEDY	2/22/2022	1:52:00		N	Medium	Solo	When my girlfriend passed on watching this romcom with me, I should have taken the hint.
145	MORBIUS	4	PVOD	ADVENTURE	5/23/2022	1:44:00	Did I see this? Literally can’t remember any of it.	Y	High	Group	My favorite thing about this movie was how the internet tricked Sony into expanding it after in flopped…only to see it flop a second time.
146	HALLOWEEN ENDS	4	PEACOCK	HORROR	11/7/2022	1:51:00	Finally, a serial killer movie where we learn how the killer learned to use a knife.	Y	Medium	Solo	You promise? This is the end. Thank goodness.
147	MEMORY	4	AMAZON	ACTION	11/8/2022	1:54:00		N	Medium	Solo	I wish they had forgotten to release this turd.
148	PINOCCHIO	4	DISNEY+	ADVENTURE	9/19/2022	1:51:00		Y	High	Solo	Oh, Tom Hanks. You’ve brought me $15 dollars worth of joy over the years, so I will let you slide.
149	INTERCEPTOR	3.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	6/4/2022	1:38:00	This is why we can’t have nice things.	N	Medium	Solo	So bad they added VERY out of place celebrity cameos for slapstick comedy.
150	MOONFALL	3	PVOD	ACTION	5/1/2022	2:10:00	Roland Emmerich will not stop until somebody gives him an Earth vs Bad Aliens franchise.	N	High	Solo	Science, bitch!

 

Deep Metrics for the Nerds!

Platform:  Where I watched it.

Platform	Average	Count	%
PEACOCK	6.50	8	5.33%
PVOD	6.79	17	11.33%
AMAZON	6.79	7	4.67%
NETFLIX	7.21	41	27.33%
HULU	7.33	3	2.00%
DISNEY+	7.29	7	4.67%
HBO MAX	7.38	12	8.00%
PARAMOUNT+	7.65	10	6.67%
AIRPLANE	8.00	1	0.67%
FIRST RUN	8.04	36	24.00%
APPLE TV+	8.08	6	4.00%
ROKU	8.50	1	0.67%
Q&A EVENT	8.50	1	0.67%

Highest rating among platforms with 5 or more was Apple TV+.  Most common platform was Netflix.

Month:  When I watched it.

Month	Average	Count	%
January	N/A	0	0.00%
February	7.00	9	6.00%
April	7.72	9	6.00%
May	6.79	17	11.33%
June	7.18	22	14.67%
March	7.33	6	4.00%
July	7.65	10	6.67%
August	7.41	11	7.33%
September	7.09	11	7.33%
October	7.79	12	8.00%
November	7.57	23	15.33%
December	7.89	20	13.33%

I saw the best movies in the awards season, peaking in December.  Apparently, I saw a lot of movies in May and June, but they seem pretty weak.

Genre: What kind of movies where they?

Genre	Average	Count	%
ACTION	6.47	16	10.67%
SPECIAL	7.81	8	5.33%
ADVENTURE	7.00	16	10.67%
HORROR	7.00	9	6.00%
COMEDY	7.28	23	15.33%
ANIMATED	7.54	12	8.00%
DOCUMENTARY	7.60	39	26.00%
DRAMA	7.98	26	17.33%
BOLLYWOOD	8.50	1	0.67%

No surprise, my dramas carried the day, but as usual, I watch a lot of documentaries.

Runtime: How long was the damn movie?

Min Time	Max Time	Average	Count	%
0:01	0:59	7.80	5	3.33%
1:00	1:29	7.38	16	10.67%
1:30	1:44	7.27	52	34.67%
1:45	1:59	7.31	39	26.00%
2:00	2:14	7.36	22	14.67%
2:15	2:29	8.25	8	5.33%
2:30	2:45	7.60	5	3.33%
2:45	2:59	8.00	1	0.67%
3:00	3hr+	8.25	2	1.33%

I saw a lot of mediocre movies between 1:30 and 1:44 minutes.

Franchise: Was this an established franchise of some kind or an original property.

Franchise?	Average	Count	%
Y	7.31	45	30.00%
N	7.45	105	70.00%

The average wasn’t as dramatic as I expected.  This is attributable to a lot of mediocre originals mixed in with the great ones.  That’s what happens with a 70/30 split.

Budget:  Using a best estimate, what was the budget level of the film?

Budget	Average	Count	%
Low	7.66	61	40.67%
Medium	7.27	65	43.33%
High	7.13	24	16.00%

Low budget films carried the day, likely because the filmmaker had to focus more on making a great story versus phoning it in.

Companionship: Did I watch it alone, with Stephanie, or with a group of people?

Companionship	Average	Count	%
Solo	7.31	96	64.00%
Group	7.50	18	12.00%
Stephanie	7.61	36	24.00%

When I showed this to Stephanie she had two pieces of feedback:  One…never show me nerdy shit like this again and two…Stephanie is quality control in every aspect her life besides her choice of boyfriends.

By William Watson

Did the world re-open in 2022?  If you look at the movies, it feels like the answer is…sort of?  Sure, there were tentpole movies like Spider-Man, Shang Chi, Black Widow, and No Time to Die, but the movie industry was definitely still a stay on home prospect most weekends.

In a year where very few films hit the modern $200m magic domestic number, Warner Brothers even adopted a controversial decision to do day and date releases of its entire slate.  It remains to be seen how this new shift in the industry will play out, but that is for 2022 to decide.

But first let’s close out 2021.  In a weird film year, I got my fellow Geek, Ryan Garcia, to buy into the madness of mass film watching.  To make this article more fun, any film he saw on my list, he will bring the snark in the full list at the end. Check out his often bizarre film analysis.

Well, here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. Coda

The Ted Lasso of 2021 movies.  Just so sweet and warm.  Coda tells the story of the only member of a family that is not deaf, who wants to be a professional singer.  The way the family connects and supports her despite their blue collar roots will have you smiling.

9. In & Of Itself

Rarely do I take movie recommendations from Ryan, but we exchanged movie assignments middle of the year, and this was his pick for me.  I am glad because I might have missed this recording of a live performance by magician and storyteller, Derek DelGaudio.  His act is mixed in with a deep and emotional examination of personal identity.

8. Spider-Man: No Way Home

I was really frustrated when I heard they were doing a multiverse take on Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.  That isn’t really Spidey’s signature temperature.  I was preconditioned to hate it, but damn it Holland, Zendaya, and the rest of the cast was amazing.  I still wish we had gotten a more conventional Spider-Man movie where he swings around New York, but if they are going this route, at least they executed.

7. Nine Days

Artsy SciFi/Fantasy done well.  A small, personal story of a man in the beyond who gets to choose from a group of souls who gets to go to Earth and live.  Winston Duke, best known for the brutish M’baku in Black Panther, turns in an incredibly nuanced performance.  His fascination with his charges, those who are set to replace one who died suddenly (especially the amazing Zazie Beetz), and how he softens the blows for those eliminated make me wonder how he’s not attracted ANY Oscar buzz.

6. Cruella

I had NO desire to see this movie.  It was so far down on the list that I thought about not watching it until it was free on D+.  But Stephanie wanted to watch it on a date night, so we rented it early.  Money well spent!  I assumed Emma Stone would do well, and she even exceeded expectations, but EVERYTHING worked in this movie.  The direction, the costumes, the cinematography, the story.  EVERYTHING!  Probably my biggest surprise of the year.

5. Belfast

This is Oscar bait done well.  When I saw it was a black and white movie set in the Troubles, I felt like many farts were to be sniffed.  But this movie had a sweet and warm narrative set in a tough period of Northern Ireland’s history. Ciarán Hinds makes a good movie a special film with his Oscar worthy performance.  The King Beyond the Wall, indeed!

4. King Richard

This might be Will Smith’s year to win the Oscar.  He infused a fascinating character with depth and life.  Richard Williams was a fascinating character and a lesser actor could have played him as a caricature without meaning to, but Smith fleshes him out and captures his drive (often obsessively so) to make his daughters great in every way.

3. Being the Ricardos

I don’t understand the controversy around the casting. Everyone was amazing!  I love Aaron Sorkin.  I love behind the scenes movies about famous moments in entertainment.  I love 50s/60s era Hollywood.  This was a movie custom made for me.

2. I Care a Lot

A February Netflix movie is my second favorite film of the year.  That is how good it was.  It was equal parts funny, tense, and violent.  Peter Dinklage continues to find great roles that don’t even acknowledge his height; which tells you how amazing he is because entertainment has long been awful to people who have dwarfism.  Dinklage is menacing and excellent, but it is Rosamund Pike who really makes this special.  How she missed out on a nomination last year for the Oscars should be reviewed by the Justice Department!

1. Judas and the Black Messiah

So…my FAVORITE movie of the year was a film released in February on HBO MAX.  Daniel Kaluuya earned his Oscar, putting in a Supporting Actor performance that belongs in the pantheon with Heath Ledger, JK Simmons, and Joe Pesci.  Sure, sure.  You have to pretend he’s not the lead character, but whatever.  This movie should have won Best Picture.  It had so much heart, passion, and depth.  Worth the price of HBO Max for a whole year…

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  In the past, I have sought out bad movies like Transformers or Mortdecai to fill in the bottom of the list.  This year, the turds sought ME out!

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10. Snake Eyes

Was Snake Eyes in this movie? This was a dumb karate movie that could have been any property until the last 30 seconds.  I’m not sure GI Joe can be adapted into film.  There’s just not much special about it.

9. F9

That rope bridge action sequence explains why Trump was elected president.  May god have mercy on your soul if you like this franchise.

8. TOM AND JERRY

This was bad even by children movie standards.  I kind of like the “Home Alone in New York” premise, but this movie couldn’t have been worse if it also included Donald Trump.

7. INFINITE

I expected nothing less from Markie Mark.  As dumb as this movie was, it was worse because he’s just not a good actor.  Put Matt Damon or Will Smith in this exact movie, and it goes up 30 spots.

6. MATRIX: RESURECTIONS

Memba Matrix? I ‘memba!  When you are making jokes about making a fourth version to a video game trilogy to practically apologize for making the movie, you should know you should have scrapped the project.  While this one wasn’t as atrocious as the third installment of the original trilogy, it was nowhere near as good as part two.  I didn’t like part two.

5. The Woman in the Window

Ruining a movie with THIS cast???  Check.  Knock off Rear Window with none of the charm?  Check.  Get me to the point where I didn’t CARE if she was crazy or there was a mystery? Check.  Disappoint me with the ending?  Check.

4. MALIGNANT

I vowed to watch all the WB day and date releases because I bought I big screen the day the news was announced. This one tested my vow.  This was a nostalgia movie for an era where I had already abandoned horror movies as a genre I enjoyed.  I can only assume this picture is from the movie because I don’t remember shit about it other than a general disgust.

3.  HALLOWEEN KILLS

This was everything the 2018 reboot was supposed to undo.  This was a schlocky, dumb movie where Jamie Lee Curtis phones in her worst performance ever.  There was a cool premise they could have worked, the town fights back, but they made it REALLY dumb instead.

2.  CRY MACHO

It was so stereotypically insensitive toward Hispanics, I am surprised Eastwood didn’t call it Cry Nacho.  Eastwood’s time is passed.  He needs to stop directing if this is his product.  He definitely needs to stop acting.  His fight scene was laughably bad.  Poor guy is 90.  He can’t beat anyone up except for Tom…

1. BARB AND STAR GO TO DEL VISTA MAR

The worst movie I have seen since Mortdecai.  I do not understand how this got positive reviews.  There is NOTHING funny about this movie.  Terrible start to finish.

Final Thoughts

Not the best year for cinema. It’s odd because I thought this year would be a powerhouse given the hold from 2020. Yet, the film quality was really not there, making me wonder about the state of the industry. Well, until next year…

Full List (#1-175)

ALL-TIME GREATS

There are no entries this year which feel like they qualify as all-time greats…

EXCELLENT

MOVIE

STARS

LOCALE

GENRE

DATE WATCHED

Ryan says:

Watson Says:

1	JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH	9.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	2/13	Amazing. Even the end title cards are powerful.	Some of the most powerful acting ever.
2	I CARE A LOT	9	NETFLIX	DRAMA	2/26	Pike kicks ass and her hair will slice you in half.	I wish this would have come out later in the year so Pike would be in the Oscar race…
3	BEING THE RICARDOS	9	AMAZON	DRAMA	12/23	Sorkin never lets the truth get in the way of a good story, again.	I don’t understand the controversy around the casting. Everyone was amazing!
4	KING RICHARD	9	HBO MAX	DRAMA	11/19		This might be Will Smith’s year!
5	BELFAST	9	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	11/14		A special movie made even more special by Handis…
6	CRUELLA	9	DISNEY+	DRAMA	5/29	Emma Stone makes a ho-hum retelling into fire.	One of the biggest surprises of the year!
7	NINE DAYS	9	PVOD	DRAMA	11/3		So moody and beautiful
8	SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME	8.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	12/16		It was the best possible version of a weird plot choice…
9	IN & OF ITSELF	8.5	HULU	DOCUMENTARY	8/9	Pure magic.	An amazing story teller…
10	CODA	8.5	APPLE TV+	DRAMA	12/19	There is a scene in this movie that, if you can watch without bawling, you are literally soulless	The Ted Lasso of movies.

STRONG ENTRIES

11	TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS	8.5	APPLE TV+	COMEDY	11/30	Kilowatts for Christ: The Movie	Every lawyer knows someone just like this guy…
12	LAST NIGHT IN SOHO	8.5	FIRST RUN	HORROR	3/30		The two leads got me to go along for the ride.
13	SHANG CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS	8.5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	9/2	“Your mother wanted you to have something special when you returned.” “Dragon-scale shirts? What do they do.” “Nothing. That’s what she gets for leaving.”	Fun new entry to the MCU
14	NO TIME TO DIE	8.5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	10/12	That’s how you fucking end a story arc!	A fitting exit for Daniel Craig.
15	ROADRUNNER: A FILM ABOUT ANTHONY BOURDAIN	8.5	FIRST RUN	DOCUMENTARY	7/18	Frustratingly spends time on the boring while skipping the interesting.	Brought back the pain of his passing..
16	TOM PETTY: SOMEWHERE YOU FEEL FREE	8.5	FIRST RUN	DOCUMENTARY	10/20		Same as Roadrunner…
17	THE SPARKS BROTHERS	8.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	12/6		I would have thought Edgar was making a mockumentary if I didn’t know they were real…
18	STREET GANG: HOW WE GOT TO SESAME STREET	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	5/25	I would pay to watch two hours of Muppet bloopers.	Big Bird singing at Henson’s funeral brings the feels
19	FAUCI	8.5	DISNEY+	DOCUMENTARY	10/11		Great look at a personal hero
20	NOBODY	8.5	PVOD	ACTION	5/3	The newer, better, less racist Taken.	Bob has come a long way from Mr Show!
21	CITIZEN ASHE	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	12/8		A dignified man who was a pioneer
22	NO SUDDEN MOVE	8.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	6/2	Gotta love a movie where Brendan Fraser is credited but unrecognizable and Matt Damon is recognizable but uncredited.	Great noir crime thriller. My sweet spot
23	8-BIT CHRISTMAS	8.5	HBO MAX	COMEDY	12/12	A more modern, slightly worse Christmas Story, salvaged by NPH	A charming new holiday classic
24	THE LAST DUEL	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	10/17		Come for the drama. Stay for Affleck’s hairdo…
25	ASSASSINS	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	11/28	If I had a nickel every time I heard someone say they were tricked into becoming an international assassin by making YouTube prank videos I would now have two nickels. Which is not a lot of money but way more than I thought I’d ever have.	The prank was on them…
26	FRENCH DISPATCH	8.5	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	10/21		More of an anthology than a singular film…
27	FREE GUY	8.5	FIRST RUN	COMEDY	8/19	This movie made me adjective!	A breath of fresh air in the years that air can kill you
28	WEST SIDE STORY	8.5	FIRST RUN	MUSICAL	12/10		Spielberg made a remake special.
29	THE CARD COUNTER	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	9/11	This could have been a perfect film if the team behind Rounders made it	Gritty and captivating
30	TICK…TICK…BOOM!	8.5	NETFLIX	MUSICAL	11/23	This will change your life. Bum bum bum bum bum.	Andrew Garfield is the only person that should contend with Will Smith for Best Actor!
31	THE SUICIDE SQUAD	8.5	HBO MAX	ACTION	8/5	Killed it.	Good, dumb fun that should have done better.
32	THE UNFORGIVABLE	8.5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	12/18	Sandra Bullock should just make Netflix movies forever.	This was a nice surprise.
33	UNTOLD: MALICE AT THE PALACE	8.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	8/16	I haven’t felt this bad for millionaires since the internet bubble burst.	It will make you feel for Jermaine Oneal
34	CLERK.	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	12/8		Required viewing if you are a Kevin Smith fan.
35	RED NOTICE	8.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	11/13	This movie had me at featured extras.	I could watch this cast do anything.
36	MAYOR PETE	8.5	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	12/1		Glad they had a camera crew following his unexpected rise.
37	76 DAYS	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	9/15		Same here but for Covid and not Pete.
38	THE LOST LEONARDO	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	11/30		I think it was by a follower and not Leonardo.
39	BLACK WIDOW	8.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	7/8	This would have been a much better movie without Natasha.	The movie would have been mediocre without Florence Pugh.
40	RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON	8.5	DISNEY+	ANIMATED	3/22	Awesome world. Looking forward to some sequels.	Disney proper has been kicking Pixar’s butt the last five years.
41	A QUIET PLACE 2	8.5	FIRST RUN	HORROR	6/17	This needs to turn into a premium series. Nice, tight little stories that could use a little more fleshing out.	Fun but not much new from the original.
42	ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI	8.5	AMAZON	DRAMA	1/23	Turns out this is not a reboot of the only song you know from Chess.	Great acting and directing.
43	THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE	8.5	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	9/18		The performances were great, but the story flags a bit.
44	BLACK HOLES: THE EDGE OF ALL WE KNOW	8.5	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	5/19	This was amazing–when it’s all about a picture but the real money shot is a 4×4 grid showing correlation between images. Oh yeah, baby.	The scientists are surprisingly compelling storytellers
45	PIG	8.5	HULU	DRAMA	12/19		The best revenge movie about a truffle hunting pig you will ever see.
46	MUSIC BOX: WOODSTOCK 99	8.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	8/8	Turns out we shouldn’t have done it all for the nookie.	Ok…so maybe Gen X was just as douchey as other generations…

VERY GOOD

47	WHITE TIGER	8.5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	2/14	I wanted this to be better.	A charming little movie that could not have been ANY better!
48	OLD HENRY	8	PVOD	DRAMA	10/31		Nice PVOD rental with some good shootouts.
49	GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	11/24		Ghostbuster: The Force Awakens.
50	CMON CMON	8	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	12/7		It jumped up 10 spots in the last 90 seconds of the film.

GOOD MOVIES

51	HOUSE OF GUCCI	8	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	11/26		Should have been a top ten movie but failed to execute.
52	SOUTH PARK: POST-COVID: THE RETURN OF COVID	8	PARAMOUNT+	ANIMATED	12/16		One of the rare times that South Park channels Futurama and delivers the feels!
53	NIGHTMARE ALLEY	8	FIRST RUN	HORROR	12/17		This was decent but it should have been better.
54	VACATION FRIENDS	8	HULU	COMEDY	11/28	John Cena needs to stop making movies where John Cena is the best part.	Dumb fun on Hulu.
55	DUNE	8	HBO MAX	ADVENTURE	10/22	If this receives a grade it should be Incomplete.	In the first 30 minutes, I thought it would be in my all time favorites. Then the next two hours were kinda boring.

DECENT FLICKS

56	CANDYMAN	8	PVOD	HORROR	12/28		Decent flick, but great direction that makes me excited about Marvels.
57	VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE	8	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	9/30	The first one was fun and funny. This was neither for me.	Had the decency to be 90 minutes.
58	BECOMING COUSTEAU	8	DISNEY+	DOCUMENTARY	11/28		What can I say? I like bipoic docs.
59	MINARI	8	PVOD	DRAMA	2/28	Fittingly named. A weed of a movie that some people find valuable.	Small little movie.
60	UNTOLD: CRIMES & PENALTIES	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/26		WWE meets Sopranos meets Slapshot
61	ZOLA	8	PVOD	DRAMA	9/28		Had its moments.
62	9/11: INSIDE THE PRESIDENT’S WAR ROOM	8	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	9/8		Interesting view from the people in charge at the time.
63	MALCOM AND MARIE	8	NETFLIX	DRAMA	2/10		A performance piece. Zendaya is a treasure.
64	A PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN	8	PVOD	DRAMA	1/24	This one will stick with you for a while. Maybe forever.	I liked it but I didn’t love it.
65	OPERATION VARSITY BLUES: THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS SCANDAL	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	3/23	Bad people, bad system, bad outcomes.	Interesting doc/drama combination.
66	LUCA	8	DISNEY+	ANIMATED	7/4	I remember when Pixar movies had consistent, interesting worlds.	Felt more Dreamworks than Pixar, but the animation is good.
67	BLOOD RED SKY	8	NETFLIX	HORROR	8/4	I hope this becomes a franchise. Few edits short of a masterpiece.	If you are already afraid of flying, not the film for you…
68	CRACK	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	2/11		Interesting but unmemorable.
69	MLK/FBI	8	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	1/18		Pretty straightforward doc.
70	NEWS OF THE WORLD	8	PVOD	DRAMA	1/16	$15	HANKS!
71	THE DISSIDENT	8	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	1/14	Pro tip: when engaging in a cyber war with a rich country, don’t click on random text links.	It will make you MAD!
72	THE FATHER	8	PVOD	DRAMA	3/28		I wish Boseman had won Best Actor, but don’t say he was robbed if you haven’t watched this brilliant performance.
73	WHO ARE YOU, CHARLIE BROWN?	8	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	6/26		Warm and sweet doc.
74	RIDE THE EAGLE	8	PVOD	COMEDY	12/12	Fun disposable film. Perfect for napping when JK isn’t on screen.	MUCH better comedy than I expected. I liked the Covid shooting techniques.
75	SOUTH PARK: AFTER COVID	8	PARAMOUNT+	ANIMATED	11/27		It was fine but not peak South Park.

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

76	COPSHOP	8	FIRST RUN	ACTION	9/25		Dumb fun that passed a Saturday afternoon.
77	BLOOD BROTHERS: MALCOM X & MUHAMMAD ALI	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	9/12		Pretty straightforward doc.
78	BEING JAMES BOND	8	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	9/7	Fantastic interview leading up to Time To Die.	Really made me appreciate Craig’s place in film history.
79	SPENCER	8	FIRST RUN	DRAMA	11/6		Dallas Buyers Club entry. A performance piece.
80	FATHERHOOD	8	NETFLIX	DRAMA	6/26	I want Kevin Hart to be better than this.	Hart was charming and I like seeing him try to stretch his skills.
81	WORTH	8	NETFLIX	DRAMA	9/12		Good performance by Keaton.
82	SUMMER OF SOUL	8	HULU	DOCUMENTARY	8/2		I would love to go back in time and attend this amazing music festival.
83	DON’T LOOK UP	8	NETFLIX	COMEDY	12/24	Feels like if this was supposed to be satire it should have gone further, which is odd given the topic.	Sadly a missed opportunity for greatness.
84	THE FRIENDS REUNION SPECIAL	8	HBO MAX	SPECIAL	5/29	This was fun, funny at times, and had some new information. Everything you’d want from a reunion.	Pure ass nostalgia!
85	A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX	8	PVOD	DOCUMENTARY	5/22	Super basic simulation theory from questionable sources. If it weren’t for the PKD footage, it’d be awful.	It made me think.
86	WEWORK: OR THE MAKING AND BREAKING OF A $47 BILLION UNICORN	8	HULU	DOCUMENTARY	4/11	I wanted there to be more about the crash here.	Megalomanics gotta megalomanic…
87	RITA MORENA: JUST A GIRL WHO DECIDED TO GO FOR IT	8	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	12/17		What a charming entry in the annals of the American Dream.
88	WITHOUT REMORSE	8	AMAZON	ACTION	5/1	Pretty generic. Could have been any action film except for the mid-credit scene.	Should have been so much better.
89	FRAMING BRITNEY SPEARS	8	HULU	DOCUMENTARY	4/2	Free Britney.	Pretty straightforward doc.
90	THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES	8	NETFLIX	ANIMATED	5/8	Unexpectedly awesome and sweet and funny at the same time.	I liked it but it was definitely more targeted at children than designed to appeal to all ages.
91	THE DAY SPORTS STOOD STILL	7.5	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	3/30		Chris Paul’s lens is interesting.
92	THE GREEN KNIGHT	7.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	7/31		Focuses more on mood and visuals than storytelling.
93	TREAD	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	12/5		Follows a crazy guy who loses his shit.
94	NOMADLAND	7.5	PRIVATEER	DRAMA	1/20	Are these broken people or symptoms of a broken system?	Beautiful but boring.
95	THE COURIER	7.5	PVOD	DRAMA	8/28		A decent period piece spy thriller
96	PIECES OF A WOMAN	7.5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	1/10		Dallas Buyers Club entry. A performance piece.
97	THE YEAR EARTH CHANGED	7.5	APPLE TV+	DOCUMENTARY	6/26		Interesting tidbits but not a great story.
98	THE LITTLE THINGS	7.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	1/29	Tough sell. Not really a murder mystery, but acts like one.	Fun for a February on HBO Max.
99	ARMY OF THE DEAD	7.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	5/22	This is the best zombie heist film to come out in a long time.	This was fun but stupid. I WILL watch a sequel, though.
100	THE TOMORROW WAR	7.5	AMAZON	ACTION	6/2	This is the Jeff Foxworthy of Edge of Tomorrows.	Same as Army of the Dead…
101	THE WRATH OF MAN		PVOD	ACTION	12/25	An epic, interweaving crime tapestry where half the threads are fine silk and the other half are flimsy cobwebs.	It’s like Guy Ritchie farmed out half the film to Liam Neeson’s writing team.
102	BECKETT	7.5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	9/19	Guy jumps off a ledge and survives, so he finds a taller building to jump off of and survive.	With a better script doctor and director, this would have been impressive.
103	FEAR STREET 2: 1978	7.5	NETFLIX	HORROR	7/14	Hard to judge as a standalone, but still brought some great elements to the first one.	I love the three film concept. This was the best as a single film.
104	SCHUMACHER	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	11/7		Hit just at the right time as I got into F1.
105	FINCH	7.5	APPLE TV+	DRAMA	11/6	“What if Pixar was really fucking depressed when it made Wall-E?”	I love Hanks, but this one dragged a lot.
106	ARMY OF THIEVES	7.5	NETFLIX	HORROR	11/1	It was fun, but at the end of the day the best part was the CGI of the inside of the safes.	A very likable lead.
107	UNTOLD: BREAKING POINT	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	11/11		I like the untold series of sports docs.
108	IN THE HEIGHTS	7.5	HBO MAX	MUSICAL	6/23	Exactly how musicals should be made into movies. Exciting, visually stunning, and an amazing cast/story/music.	It just didn’t connect with me.
109	FEAR STREET 3: 1666	7.5	NETFLIX	HORROR	7/17	Fantastic ending of the trilogy–half origin, half resolution. What a fun event!	You needed this to end the series, but as a standalone movie it is uneven.
110	LARRY FLINT FOR PRESIDENT	7.5	TRIBECA	DOCUMENTARY	6/14		What a character!
111	JUNGLE CRUISE	7.5	DISNEY+	ADVENTURE	7/31	How does a movie feel too big and too small at the same time?	They almost wasted an all world cast. They better get the sequel right!
112	THE ETERNALS	7.5	FIRST RUN	ADVENTURE	11/4	Total opposite of GotG. That movie took a cast of mostly unknown characters and made us like them all. This took a cast of mostly unknown characters and made us not give a shit about any of them.	The Nomadland of the MCU.
113	OLD	7.5	PVOD	HORROR	10/31		I liked the concept and the twist, but the movie had a lot of down time.
114	BOB ROSS: HAPPY ACCIDENTS, BETRAYAL AND GREED	7.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	8/27	This should have been 90 minutes about the squirrel that lived in his shirt pocket.	Thank goodness Ross wasn’t the bad guy the title alludes to!
115	THE HARDER THEY FALL	7	NETFLIX	DRAMA	11/6	Westerns are usually black and white. This is one is too, but different.	I love the cast and the premise, but the direction didn’t work for me.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

116	STILLWATER	7	PVOD	DRAMA	8/21		ZZZzzzzz….
117	STOWAWAY	7	NETFLIX	DRAMA	4/27	If you’re curious about this, just watch Gravity again.	A great premise that didn’t quite launch.
118	THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD	7	HBO MAX	DRAMA	5/15	The screenwriter had a fire sale on action movie cliches.	Glad I only saw this on HBO.
119	CHAOS WALKING	7	PVOD	ADVENTURE	5/28	I mean, sixth release time is the charm! (Watson: It was not…)	Better than I expected. Holland is just likable.
120	FEAR STREET 1: 1994	7	NETFLIX	HORROR	7/5	Best since Scream of poking fun at a genre while also being right inside the genre.	Without the trilogy, this would have been a teeny bopper flick
121	KATE	7	NETFLIX	ACTION	9/27	This was fun in a way Gunpowder Milkshake should have been.	I like this subgenre and the lead, but it was unmemorable.
122	INJUSTICE	7	PVOD	ANIMATED	11/2		Passable DC Animated flick.
123	THE GUILTY	7	NETFLIX	DRAMA	10/4	Nightcrawler lite and with telephones.	Not a bad film, but not a classic.
124	VAL	7	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	8/17	Worst remake of the Stephen Hawking documentary yet.	He’s a weird dude.
125	WEREWOLVES WITHIN	7	PVOD	HORROR	7/9	I laughed more than I thought I would. Really fun modern comedy.	Felt like this could have been better with a tighter script.
126	TINA	7	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	4/12	Tina Turner remains the best concert I ever went to. It was better than this, although this was interesting.	Pretty straightforward doc.
127	GODZILLA VS KONG	7	HBO MAX	ADVENTURE	3/31	Anytime a person spoke this movie got worse.	Boring as hell when Godzilla and Kong are not on screen together.
128	UNTOLD: BREAKING POINT	7	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	11/7		The worst of the series I watched. I skipped the Jenner entry though.
129	OUR TOWNS	7	HBO MAX	DOCUMENTARY	5/2	Some interesting takes, just not sure there were interesting takeaways.	ZZZzzzzz….
130	JUSTICE LEAGUE: SNYDER CUT	7	HBO MAX	ADVENTURE	3/18	It’s a bit more believable that Bruce grew that beard in 7 days as opposed to just one, but not much.	They should have made this a mini-series as planned.
131	BATMAN: SOUL OF THE DRAGON		PVOD	ANIMATED	12/1		Decent DC Animated.
132	PETER RABBIT 2	7	PVOD	COMEDY	8/29	James Cordon ruined this movie.	Missed the charm of the original.
133	ENCOUNTER	7	AMAZON	DRAMA	12/11		Riz Ahmed saves this from the near bottom.
134	YES DAY	7	NETFLIX	COMEDY	3/24	Should you watch it with your family if you have nothing else to watch? Yes.	Family fun if you have YOUNG kids.
135	JUSTICE SOCIETY: WORLD WAR 2	7	PVOD	ANIMATED	5/15		I would have rather just had a movie about the JSA instead of time travel with the JLA.
136	BATMAN: LONG HALLOWEEN PART 2	7	HBO MAX	ANIMATED	10/13		Better than part 1.
137	THE UNITED STATES V BILLIE HOLIDAY	7	HULU	DRAMA	2/26		Relied just on the music. The plot was boring.
138	BATMAN: LONG HALLOWEEN PART 1	7	PVOD	ANIMATED	7/12		Not as good as part 2. But obviously not much…
139	THUNDER FORCE	6.5	NETFLIX	COMEDY	3/26	Amusing enough, but mostly a miss.	What Ryan said…
140	NAIL BOMBER: MANHUNT	6.5	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	5/26		Passable crime doc.
141	MURDER BY THE COAST	6.5	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	8/18		I don’t remember much of this one.
142	COMING 2 AMERICA	6.5	AMAZON	COMEDY	3/5	This was a total blast. How dare you.	Memba Coming to America? I ‘memba!
143	THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK	6.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	10/6		Felt like fan fic.
144	OASIS KNEBWORTH 1996	6.5	PARAMOUNT+	DOCUMENTARY	11/28		I liked the music, but I really hate the Gallaghers…
145	ESCAPE ROOM: TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS	6.5	PVOD	HORROR	12/23		The rooms were fun. The plot was clunky.
146	LOCKED DOWN	6.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	3/14	Not really a heist	I graded this one on the covid curve.
147	PLAYING WITH SHARKS	6.5	DISNEY+	DOCUMENTARY	8/11		It was something on in the background.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

148	PINK: ALL I KNOW SO FAR	6	AMAZON	DOCUMENTARY	5/22	Pink’s music and the wire flying save this otherwise boring doc.	I like her music. She is not an interesting person.
149	BIGGIE: I GOT A STORY TO TELL	6	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	3/8	Biggie is fascinating. This wasn’t.	How do you screw up a documentary about Biggie?
150	OUTSIDE THE WIRE	6	NETFLIX	ACTION	3/13	So bad. So very bad.	This one should have been more fun.
151	AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE	6	NETFLIX	ANIMATED	7/18	Super funny on paper. Kinda funny on screen.	Not funny either way…
152	14 PEAKS	6	NETFLIX	DOCUMENTARY	12/7		Cool premise. Great visuals. No narrative thread.
153	MORTAL KOMBAT	6	HBO MAX	ACTION	4/24	“Okay, here’s the plan. You know how we just fought all those guys and they won? Well now we’re going to fight the exact same guys again.”	Not as good as the cartoon movie from 2020.

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

154	THE HITMAN’S BODYGUARD’S WIFE	6	PVOD	COMEDY	8/24		Even a bad movie with Ryan Reynolds is a bad movie with Ryan Reynolds.
155	GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE	6	NETFLIX	ACTION	7/21	Valiant effort, but the attempt at worldbuilding was what made this so frustrating.	Stop trying to make the next John Wick, Hollywood.
156	REMINISENCE	5.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	8/22	This is an excellent anti-Chinatown.	I was bored the whole time.
157	SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW	5.5	PVOD	HORROR	11/9		If Chris Rock can’t make me like a Saw movie…
158	CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG	5.5	PARAMOUNT+	COMEDY	12/1		I watched this just to annoy Clayton…
159	SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY	5.5	HBO MAX	COMEDY	7/22	Spent as much time in space as the Fantastic Four reboot.	Why hasn’t Warners come out with a jelly called Space Jam?
160	ICE ROAD	5.5	NETFLIX	ACTION	6/26		The “good” Liam Neeson movie of the year.
161	THE MARKSMAN	5.5	PVOD	ACTION	6/7		The BAD Liam Neeson movie of the year.
162	THE CONJURING	5	HBO MAX	HORROR	5/4	It’s nice to have another X-Files movie to watch.	So insultingly dumb.
163	VOYAGERS	5	PVOD	DRAMA	9/22	It’s been a rough couple of years and even I thought this was overly pessimistic about humanity.	Artsy sci fi movies are easy fuck up. They did.
164	THE POWER OF THE DOG	5	NETFLIX	DRAMA	12/1	This was a flawless movie.	It was sooooooo boring and the acting was bad. I usually love fart smelling movies and this one died on the vine for me. The biggest surprise ever was that Ryan liked this.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

165	SNAKE EYES	5	PVOD	ACTION	8/22	Years from now I look forward to someone bringing up this movie and I’ll say “They made a Snake Eyes movie?”	Was Snake Eyes in this movie?
166	F9	5	FIRST RUN	ACTION	6/24	Magnets, bitch!!!	That rope bridge action sequence explains why Trump was elected president.
167	TOM AND JERRY	4.5	HBO MAX	COMEDY	2/26	Nothing about this movie was good. But Tom and Jerry were the worst parts.	This was bad even by children movie standards.
168	INFINITE	4	PARAMOUNT+	ACTION	5/13	This movie makes Highlander 2 look like Highlander.	I expected nothing less from Markie Mark.
169	MATRIX 4	4	HBO MAX	ADVENTURE	12/22	Fans of the Matrix series will love it, others won’t. I’m totally cool with that.	Memba Matrix? I ‘memba!
170	THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW	4	NETFLIX	DRAMA	5/14	Really good second act but a first act that slogged and a third act that felt forced. Pity.	Ruining a movie with THIS cast???
171	MALIGNANT	3.5	HBO MAX	HORROR	9/19		I vowed to watch all the WB day and date releases because I bought I big screen the day the news was announced. This one tested my vow.
172	HALLOWEEN KILLS	3.5	PEACOCK	HORROR	11/23		This was everything the 2018 reboot was supposed to undo.
173	CRY MACHO	3.5	HBO MAX	DRAMA	10/6		Eastwood is done as a leading man. This was just sad.
174	BARB & STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR	0.7	PVOD	COMEDY	4/21	This movie made Tom and Jerry look like Judas and the Black Messiah.	The worst movie I have seen since Mortdecai.

 

By William Watson

Well…  This year was the longest decade of our lives, wasn’t it?  When Covid-19 transformed to a global pandemic in March, the movie slate was turned upside down.  It was so disruptive, Gabbing Geek’s Jenny made a bet that no movie would be released on its originally scheduled date. She was looking good until Tom Hanks, who heralded in a global reaction with his positive test, turned out News of the World on Christmas Day!

So, what did I do in a year where movies were hard to find?  Did I watch fewer than ever?  No way!

I sifted through the sand and found as much gold as I could; so much so that I shattered my all-time record of 150 new movies in a year.  

In fact, Gabbing Geek’s Ryan recommended I beat it by 19 to reflect the only number that mattered this year.

Plus, 150 plus 19 makes it… 169.  Giggle!

Well, here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. LOVE AND MONSTERS

A nice, small budget science fiction, post-apocalyptic action comedy; set in a world where alien monsters have forced humanity underground.  After years of being afraid of his own shadow, Joel sets out across dangerous ground to reunite with his childhood love, Aimee.  The film feels much bigger than its budget.

9. BOYS STATE

An amazing documentary set in my own town of Austin, Texas, Boys State covers an annual student civics program for high school students.  The attendees divide themselves into two non-partisan parties, build a platform, and then run for offices.  The director finds some fascinating kids to tell the story of what people will do in the quest for power.

8. THE SOUND OF METAL

This film falls into my Dallas Buyers Club category, where it is more about performances than plot, but still very compelling. This movie should do well come Oscar season. Riz Ahmed deserves a Best Actor nod as does Paul Raci for supporting. Ahmed stars as a heavy metal drummer who must come to grips with losing his hearing.  It’s better than it sounds…

7. THE GENTLEMEN

This was the only movie in my top ten that I saw in the theater.  Not usually a Guy Ritchie fan, but this one was a much more straightforward caper than his earlier works.  Matthew McConaughey plays an aging drug kingpin in England, who is fending off a brutal young rival and a scheming tabloid journalist.  Great performances from MM, Charlie Hutnam, Jeremy Strong, Hugh Grant, and Colin Farrell.

6. PALM SPRINGS

An A-movie we didn’t know about popping up on Hulu???  What a nice little treat during a pandemic!  The shock of the year tells the story of a man dealing with being stuck in a Groundhog Day time loop, only to get a visitor in the madness.  I will say no more, because the more blind you go in, the better.  Check this hilarious movie out!

5. MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM

Chadwick is a lock for Best Actor, but I think he would have won even if he hadn’t tragically died. This was a great performance, and it will not be a sympathy award. Boseman leaves the world too early, but drops the mic with a tour de force performance as an arrogant young musician trying to steal spotlight from the aging diva.  Raw and powerful in every scene.

4. TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7

Just an amazing film. Classic Sorkin. The cast takes his beautiful words and bring it home.  I think you could fill the full acting Oscar slate from this movie about the prosecution of the organizers of the anti-war protests at the 1968 Democratic National Convention.  Special callouts to Sacha Baron Cohen (who had a hell of a year with this and Borat), Jeremey Strong, Mark Rylance, and Yahya Abdul Mateen II.

3. TENET

The rest of the Geeks correctly note that Nolan was a first rate dick and totally tone deaf in his “way too far” defense of the theater distributors during a pandemic. But that aside, this movie was fucking awesome. It is very complex, and I get why it might not be for B-level intellects, but I dug it. I say this because I am also a first rate dick.

2.  SOUL

Wow. Just wow! I put Soul up there with TS3 and Inside Out. Maybe above them! Its animation was the best Pixar has ever done. It had a ton of… soul. Pun intended but there’s no better way to capture it. Jamie Fox’s performance was on par with Ellen’s Dory as the all time Pixar champ.  I was captivated every second of this film.

WATSON’S FILM OF THE YEAR!

1. HAMILTON

One of the many gifts Disney+ gave us was pulling up the 2021 theatrical release of a live taping of the greatest musical ever …and this one came along just at the right time as nerves were fraying with the shutdown. I have seen this amazing piece of Americana three times in the theater, but never got to see the legendary original cast.  Now I can watch it on my phone on a mountain in Nepal.  What an amazing all time piece of art that is accessible to the masses forever.   Saying that the original stage production is one of the ten best works of artistic creation in history isn’t hyperbole. The best movie of the year is a time capsule for what we could do as a people.

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  In the past, I have sought out bad movies like Transformers or Mortdecai to fill in the bottom of the list.  I saw fewer stinkers this year because of COVID-19  Life was hard enough as it was…

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10. SUPERINTELLIGENCE

Ben Falcone continues to ruin his wife Melissa McCarthy’s career with his witless direction.  This might be his best collaboration with her, but that is not saying much.  The only saving graces of this turd are Bobby Cannavale and James Cordon.

9. THE WAR WITH GRANDPA

This movie’s plot was already stale in 2003.  I get DeNiro taking the paycheck, but it was sad to see Uma Thurman in the role she had.  She deserves better than this paint by the numbers mundane offering.

8. HUBIE HALLOWEEN

Sandler movies are my very guilty pleasure.  I am ashamed to say I would watch them even if I didn’t already watch everything.  But there is Premium Sandler (Uncut Gems), Decent Sandler Comedy (Murder Mystery), and Terrible Sandler (Sandy Wexler).  This is Sandy Wexler territory, which is sad because the premise had promise…

7. BLOODSHOT

My least favorite genre can only be described as “Ryan Movies” and this fits the bill, starring the patron saint of Ryan films: Vin Diesel.  One of the most horrific aspects of the quarantine was that I got desperate and bought this movie the day it became available on PVOD.  Now it is in my permanent library as a mark of shame.  Of course, Vin did contribute to the culture this year with this utter gem!

6. GRUDGE

This movie was almost indecipherable.  I didn’t see the original, but there was NOTHING compelling about this 99 cent rental…

5. WONDER WOMAN 1984

What a train wreck!?! The plot was a convoluted mess. I respect the central story idea of the wishing rock and Lord’s drive for power and respect, but complex and ambitious plot lines are generally home runs or strike outs. Avengers: Endgame had a complicated time heist that could have totally gone off the rails. Nope. Steroid era home run! This one? Swing and a miss, lost control of the bat and it hit the Boy Scout in the third row in the head.

4. UNHINGED

One of the bold entrants into the “save the theaters” movement or a stinker the studios decided to flush as a favor to Cinemark and AMC?  Well….it is my #4 film so you tell me.  An interesting premise that was executed with such stupidity that it will insult your intelligence…

3. CAPONE

Tom Hardy is objectively a great actor, so to make such a bad movie with him takes work.  He plays an aging Al Capone after he is released from prison due to illness.  Sounds cool, right?  Well he is suffering from advanced syphilis and that isn’t pretty.  Yet, they are very faithful in their potrayal of his decline…all the way down to the regular bouts of diarrhea…

2. SPENCER CONFIDENTIAL

Another Ryan type movie.  I swear if Mark Wahlberg and Vin Diesel did an action car chase movie together, the world would be sucked into a black hole and all life would end.  Yet they would still continue making bad Mark Wahlberg movies.  They put a hell of a cast around him (Duke, Arkin, and Maron), but Marky Mark still makes the film so unwatchable.

 1. ARTEMIS FOWL

Ugh.  This was brutal.  This movie got shuffled around a couple of times because of the Disney/Fox acquisition, but clearly there were problems with the project itself.  When Disney offered this up as a Disney+ release in April, they were trying to trick us into thinking this was another Frozen 2 or Onward early release.  It was, instead, the modern equivalent of a January burnoff.  There was only one moment I laughed or smiled and it was unintentional comedy from Dame Judy Dench.  This is the kind of dump that cheapens the premium streaming name.  Avoid this one like the plague.

Final Thoughts

In last year’s article, I wrote “The growth of quality streaming films, generally smarter and more adult in nature, seems to be the answer to the growing tide of dumb franchise movies that no one asked for.  More and more, I could see the kind of movies that once lit up the big screen, the mid-budget film, coming to Netflix.  I will be happy to watch them there!”  Little did I know the world would catch on fire and that trend would be accelerated five years.  Death to theaters! I changed my game room into a home theater in anticipation of this trend.

We should have a great slate in 2021, even if the vaccine takes a while.  I cannot wait!  Happy New Year!

Full List (#1-169)

ALL-TIME GREATS

1 . HAMILTON
2 . SOUL

EXCELLENT

3 . TENET
4 . TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7
5 . MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM
6 . PALM SPRINGS
7 . THE GENTLEMEN
8 . THE SOUND OF METAL
9 . BOYS STATE

STRONG ENTRIES

10 . LOVE AND MONSTERS
11 . THE LAST BLOCKBUSTER
12 . THE BOYS IN THE BAND
13 . THE OUTPOST
14 . THE OLD GUARD
15 . MANK
16 . TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL
17 . BAD EDUCATION
18 . THE BANKER

VERY GOOD

19 . THE BEE GEES: HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART
20 . KAJILLIONAIRE
21 . THE MIDNIGHT SKY
22 . EUROVISION
23 . LET HIM GO
24 . JOHN LEWIS: GOOD TROUBLE
25 . ARCHENEMY
26 . THE WAY I SEE IT
27 . BORAT: SUBSEQUENT MOVIE FILM
28 . THE BEASTIE BOYS STORY
29 . ALL IN: THE FIGHT FOR DEMOCRACY
30 . KING OF STATEN ISLAND
31 . ENOLA HOLMES
32 . HOWARD
33 . WOLFWALKERS
34 . DA FIVE BLOODS
35 . GREYHOUND
36 . ON THE ROCKS
37 . BIG TIME ADOLESCENCE
38 . THE WAY BACK
39 . FOOSBALLERS
40 . UNCORKED
41 . CRIP CAMP

GOOD MOVIES

42 . THE RED PENGUINS
43 . CALL OF THE WILD
44 . THE SOUL OF AMERICA
45 . THE FIGHT
46 . THE DEVIL ALL THE TIME
47 . CIRCUS OF BOOKS
48 . PERSONAL HISTORY OF DAVID COPPERFIELD
49 . THE HALF OF IT
50 . CLASS ACTION PARK
51 . NEVER, RARELY, SOMETIMES, ALWAYS
52 . DISCLOSURE
53 . MULAN
54 . SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
55 . EXTRACTION
56 . UPPITY
57 . ATHLETE A
58 . BIRDS OF PREY
59 . I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS
60 . UNFIT
61 . 7500
62 . HILLBILLY ELEGY
63 . DAVID FOSTER: OFF THE RECORD
64 . BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN’S LETTER TO YOU
65 . THE ASSISTANT
66 . DESERT ONE
67 . SUPERMAN: RED SON
68 . BECOMING
69 . THE MYSTERY OF DB COOPER
70 . HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
71 . DISNEYNATURE’S ELEPHANT
72 . DADS

DECENT FLICKS

73 . PROJECT POWER
74 . EMMA.
75 . 537 VOTES
76 . THE VAST OF NIGHT
77 . AMERICAN MURDER: THE FAMILY NEXT DOOR
78 . MAKING WAVES: THE ART OF CINEMATIC SOUND
79 . IRRESISTIBLE
80 . A SECRET LOVE
81 . THE PANAMA PAPERS
82 . JANE GOODALL: THE HOPE
83 . THE PHOTOGRAPH
84 . ARKANSAS
85 . ONWARD
86 . MY SPY
87 . AVA
88 . RADIOACTIVE
89 . GREED
90 . BAD BOYS 3
91 . BILL AND TED FACE THE MUSIC
92 . LAST FULL MEASURE
93 . AN AMERICAN PICKLE
94 . THE PROM
95 . THE TRIP TO GREECE
96 . SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN
97 . THE SHOW MUST GO ON: QUEEN
98 . JUDY AND PUNCH
99 . JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK 2
100 . THE WRONG MISSY
101 . LOST GIRLS

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

102 . TROOP ZERO
103 . FANTASY ISLAND
104 . HOOKING UP
105 . TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG
106 . DIVING WITH DOLPHINS
107 . DESPERADOS
108 . IMPRACTICAL JOKERS
109 . LOVEBIRDS
110 . GO BACK TO CHINA
111 . MORTAL KOMBAT: SCORPION’S REVENGE
112 . COFFEE & KAREEM
113 . MISS AMERICANA
114 . NEW MUTANTS
115 . TESLA
116 . MISS JUNETEENTH
117 . THE HUNT
118 . THE SOCIAL DILEMMA

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

119 . TROLLS WORLD TOUR
120 . SCOOB
121 . THE INVISIBLE MAN
122 . DOOLITTLE
123 . THE HIGH NOTE
124 . EXTRA ORDINARY
125 . HOW TO BUILD A GIRL
126 . THE SLEEPOVER
127 . PHINEAS & FERB THE MOVIE
128 . WHAT THE CONSTITUTION MEANS TO ME
129 . FEELS GOOD MAN
130 . SUPERMAN: MAN OF TOMORROW

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

131 . CRACKED UP
132 . THE LAST THING HE WANTED
133 . THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN
134 . OLYMPIC DREAMS
135 . LIKE A BOSS
136 . CRAZY NOT INSANE
137 . HAVE A GOOD TRIP
138 . CODE 8
139 . LA ORIGINALS
140 . SKIN
141 . DOWNHILL
142 . THE BINGE
143 . ROALD DAHL’S THE WITCHES

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

144 . THE RENTAL
145 . THE CURRENT OCCUPANT
146 . SPACESHIP EARTH
147 . THE WILLOUGHBYS
148 . ROBERT THE BRUCE
149 . THE BEST KIDS IN TEXAS
150 . DEATHSTROKE: KNIGHTS AND DRAGONS
151 . UNDERWATER
152 . FIRST COW
153 . WATER LILIES OF MONET
154 . SNIPER: ASSASSIN’S END
155 . FATAL AFFAIR
156 . THE RHYTHM SECTION
157 . AMERICAN PIE PRESENTS: GIRLS’ RULE
158 . RELIC
159 . FORCE OF NATURE

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

160 . SUPERINTELLIGENCE
161 . THE WAR WITH GRANDPA
162 . HUBIE HALLOWEEN
163 . BLOODSHOT
164 . GRUDGE
165 . WONDER WOMAN 1984
166 . UNHINGED
167 . CAPONE
168 . SPENCER CONFIDENTIAL
169 . ARTEMIS FOWL