By: William Watson

Movies have been in a weird place since the pandemic.  Studios are still trying to figure out their distribution strategy around theatrical, PVOD, and streaming release dates.  Couple that with their ongoing tentpole obsession AND two union strikes preventing actors from promoting films and you have a quirky dynamic in the air.

One thing we did see was that audiences are getting tired of seeing the same, stale franchises over and over.  Some of them deserved to fail (anything with Vin Diesel or a Transformer), but some just made me sad (The Marvels, Mission Impossible, and Indiana Jones).  Still, in the wreckage of some of the biggest box office bombs of all time, there are still amazing movies being made.  Some of them small budget gems…but some films (especially those released on July 21st) really took theaters by storm.

Enough industry analysis.  Here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. BLACKBERRY

This drama about Corporate America Canada was so impressive that I think Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon and Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny should be considered for Oscar noms. Sadly this one didn’t connect with audiences, but it is one of those movies that probably works better as a streamer.  Someone said recently that Tesla could be to electric vehicles what Blackberry was to smart phones.  As this movie indicates, executive hubris would be the cause for both if that comes to pass…

9.  AIR

In a year full of dramatic business movies, this one set the standard. My favorite genre of books is narrative nonfiction about interesting events in business and public service. Great cast. Great story. Great script.  Jason Bateman stole the show as usual.

8.  BARBIE

What a success! There is no reason a movie based on a toy, targeted at one segment of the market, with that much pink, should become one of the biggest four-quadrant hits of all time. Greta Gerwig, the next big name, made that happen with an incredibly smart script and brilliant direction. Add in epic performances by Robbie, Gosling, McKinnon, Liu, Ferrera, and Cera, and you have something just good Kenough to make my top ten of the year!

7. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM

This movie was pure fun. I loved the Turtles themselves. It felt like the director put four teenagers in a sound both and let them improvise some of the dialogue. It was either that or the screenwriter caught “Hello, Fellow Kids!” lightning in a bottle. The animation was unconventional but REALLY captured the feel of the original comics. And the humor was spot on; especially Ice Cube. “I didn’t even need that horse…”

6.  AMERICAN FICTION

What a beautiful surprise. The movie that goes in a very different direction than the trailer suggest, but honors the premise at the same time. What a nice performance by a lot of talented actors.  I hope this one gets some real buzz at awards season.

5.  THE HOLDOVERS

Alexander Payne returns to form after directing a couple of movies I just couldn’t connect with. Holdovers is a nice little film that gets a little over the top at times with the comedy, but never in a way that takes away from the heart that comes with it. Da’Vine Joy Randolph is going to sweep award season with her seamless shift from gut busting comedy, to breaking you into tears.  I think hers was the best performance of the year.

4.  SISU

Oddly, this was like a Tarantino movie… without the dialogue. Can such a thing exist?  It does!  This revenge movie set in the last days of World War II Finland is a tour de force.  I believe Sisu is Finnish for “I’m gonna drive a knife through your skull and use you as a human shield…”  If you are squeamish about violence, avoid this movie at all costs!

3. DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

What a fun movie.  Something for everyone… if only it got a chance.  Sadly, the brand wasn’t embraced by audiences who have leaned into science fiction and superheroes the last 15 years.  Humorous fantasy could have been the new, dominant tentpole genre, but it proved too geeky for broader audiences. This will forever be the shared universe that might have been…

2. OPPENHEIMER

This was so amazing. Nolan took a story about theoretical physicists and made a three hour movie about it that made more than all but the biggest blockbusters of all time. The guy is just in a league of his own right now and is one of a handful of people (directors, actors, writers, performers) where audiences show up based on his name alone. He’s the Taylor Swift of directors. That is high praise, which I know he would hate.

NUMBER ONE!

1.  SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE

The first film in the series landed at my top spot in 2018, and its successor does as well in 2023.  It is an absolutely amazing story… but it was the animation that blew me away. I thought the first installment was a major advancement in the format,  but this one makes the original look like dog shit.  I knew in the opening sequence with the mixed animation style in the fight with the Vulture that this movie was going to pop.  Directors Lord and Miller have really hit it big with both entries in this franchise.  I really hope they stick the landing with the final installment of the trilogy.  

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  This one is filled with franchises that should die off or attempts to create ones that should have never existed.

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10.  Aquaman:  The Lost Kingdom

Did I miss the story in Variety reporting that George Lucas wrote and directed this movie? It felt just like one of the Star Wars Prequels. Mamoa does his best but they didn’t give him anything to work with. Sadly, despite being a fan of his, this isn’t my last entry in the bottom ten featuring JM.

9.  WANDERING EARTH 2

I’ll admit it… it is a good looking film. Sadly, “Wandering Earth” is how you say “Michael Bay” in Mandarin…

8.  HOUSE PARTY

I only liked the parts that didn’t focus on the leading men or their romantic interests. Sadly, that was only like 10% of the movie.

7.  THE POPE’S EXORCIST

Plodding in a way that makes plodding movies seem less plodding.

6.  YOUR PLACE OR MINE

Every dumb cliche and bad script choice possible went into the making of this movie.  The description of a movie is in this picture was more original.

5.  Retribution

It wouldn’t be my annual list without a Liam NEESON stinker near the bottom. They spend no money on script or production values here. None.  Reminded me of my favorite movie review I ever did.  Same thing applies to this crapfest.

4.  BIG GEORGE FOREMAN: THE MIRACULOUS STORY OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

I grew up in the Houston suburb where George Foreman lives. I even went to high school with one or two of the George/Georgias. This movie should have been a slam dunk for me, but man was it a miss. I think they tried to make a faith based movie and traditional, sports bio movie at the same time; failing the target audiences for both.

3. KNIGHTS OF THE ZODIAC

I was so certain this would be in Ryan’s top ten for the year that I practically begged him to watch it. Sadly, he didn’t like it either.  I felt it would speak to him since he likes garbage.

2. THE MEG 2: THE TRENCH

This movie was so insultingly dumb.  Look… the original Meg wasn’t high art, but it was at least fun. This leaned into every bad part of the original without the dash of charm that made the first one passable.

1.  FAST X

Worst X-Men movie ever…

Final Thoughts

Last year, I ended my article with this line: “The movie business has changed and if they keep delivering smart movies like the ones in my top ten, I guess I can live with a cameo of Henry Cavill, Brandon Routh, Helen Slater, Christopher Reeve, and Kirk Alyn in the next Superman movie…”  Turns out it was in the movie the Flash.

And that seems to be Hollywood’s problem.  They are too predictable.  Even my bad jokes predict their next move.  I was joking!  And it happened.  Damn, are we in a rut in some parts of Hollywood.   But mixed in with the fluff, there were some great big budget flicks this year.  Let’s hope for more of that in 2024!

Full List (#1-143)

RANK

MOVIE

GRADE

RYAN SAYS:

WATSON SAYS:

EXCELLENT

1	SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE	100	Exceptional, no doubt. But an incomplete story can’t earn 100. C’mon now.	Amazing story but it was the animation that absolutely blew me away. I thought the first one was a major advancement in the format but this one makes that one look like dog shit.
2	OPPENHEIMER	100	A fantastic look at a brilliant man but fell short of perfection, I thought, from both trying to understand Oppenheimer as well as learning what happened to him	This was so amazing. Nolan took a story about theoretical physicists and made a three hour movie about it that made more than all but the biggest blockbusters of all time. The guy is just in a league of his own right now and is one of a handful of people (directors, actors, writers, performers) where people show up based on his name alone. He’s the Taylor Swift of directors. That is high praise, which I know he would hate.

STRONG ENTRIES

3	DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES	95	The most realistic thing about this campaign? Our heros won without climbing a wall.	Could have been the new, dominant tentpole genre, but it proved too geeky for broader audiences. This will be the shared universe that might have been…
4	SISU	95	We’ve heard of spaghetti westerns. Is this the first lutefisk western?	Oddly like a Tarantino movie without the dialogue. I believe Sisu is Finnish for “I’m gonna drive a knife through your skull and use you as a human shield…”
5	THE HOLDOVERS	91		Alexander Payne returns to form after a couple of movies I just couldn’t connect with. Holdovers is a nice little film that gets a little over the top at times with the comedy, but never in a way that takes away from the heart that comes in the more poignant moments.
6	AMERICAN FICTION	90	A flawless film. I have no clue why you’ve given this only a 90.	What a beautiful surprise. The movie that goes in a very different direction than the trailer suggest, but honors the premise at the same time. What a nice performance by a lot of talented actors.
7	TMNT: MUTANT MAYHEM	90	Totally acceptable reboot	This movies was pure fun. I loved the Turtles themselves. It felt like the director put four teenagers in a sound both and let them improvise some of the dialogue. It was either that or the screenwriter caught “Fellow Kids” lightning in a bottle. The animation was unconventional but REALLY captured the feel of the original comics. And the humor was spot on; especially Ice Cube. “I didn’t even need that horse…”
8	BARBIE	90	A parody so effective it becomes canon.	What a success! There is no reason a movie based on a toy targeted at one segment of the market should become one of the biggest four-quadrant hits of all time. Greta Gerwig, the next big thing, made that happen with an incredibly smart script and brilliant direction. Add in epic performances by Robbie, Gosling, McKinnon, Liu, Ferrera, and Cera, and you have something just good Kenough to make the top ten of the year!

VERY GOOD

9	AIR	89	Interesting stuff, but since the story is essentially “Nike paid more” this movie could have been an email	Great cast. Great story. Great script. In a year full of business drama movies, this one set the standard. My favorite genre of books is narrative nonfiction about interesting events in business and public service. Now it seems they are becoming more popular as movie adaptions and that is fine with me.
10	BLACKBERRY	89	Fun story about the rare times in business when you need an asshole in charge	This business drama movie was so impressive that I think Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon and Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny should be considered for Oscar noms. Sad this one didn’t connect, but it is one of those movies that probably works better as a streamer.
11	WONKA	88		I liked this movie WAY more than I thought I would.  It was just so pleasant.
12	MAY DECEMBER	88		What a quirky concept for a movie that turned out to be an entertaining romp. I am still not sure it is as dramatic as the real events on which this fictitious telling is based on…
13	THE KILLER	88	Assassin movie filled with the same old tropes but executed incredibly well	Like Payne with The Holdovers, Fincher returns to glory after a disappointing film, Mank. While more straightforward than most Fincher thrillers, The Killer really keeps you on the edge of your seat as a hit man goes on the offensive after a bad engagement makes him a target.
14	STILL: A MICHAEL J FOX MOVIE	87	Love the theme, the structure, the methods of this documentary. Should win all the awards.	I don’t normally like biographical docs as much when the focal point is heavily involved but this movie wouldn’t have been nearly as special as an objective piece of storytelling.
15	GUY RITCHIE’S THE COVENANT	87	Everything about this movie worked	Very different than Ritchie’s normal fare, which I love, and that isn’t a bad thing in this case.
16	A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE	87		An excellent look at the history of Star Wars that doesn’t get talked about much. Not just the SW Holiday Special itself, but the era between the greenlighting of the OG film and the release of Empire.
17	POOR THINGS	87	Yorgos Lanthimos is Wes Anderson with a PhD	A really excellent look at coming to terms with life and independence. Meandered a tad in the second act, but still worth a watch for quirky, arthouse fans.
18	RUSTIN	87		An amazing lead performance by long time character actor Colman Domingo. I thought he deserved consideration for his role in Ma Rainy’s Black Bottom, but this should be his year to get a much deserved Oscar nomination.

GOOD MOVIES

19	NEXT GOAL WINS	86		That this got bad reviews makes me finally question the critics and their Rotten Tomato aggregations.  This was a fun, sweet, harmless movie that should have been well received.  It is very much in the style of an old Disney movie, sharing the same beats and heart as Cool Runnings.
20	DREAM SCENARIO	86	Great idea, fell apart at the end.	A fun premise that would have been great if it didn’t finish a little flat.
21	A MILLION MILES AWAY	86		Just one of those movies that is a pleasure to watch. Nothing out of this world (giggle), but a great Friday on the couch.
22	KELCE	85		I was kind of glad to learn it was about the OTHER Kelce brother and had very little to do with Taylor Swift.
23	GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3	85	Need to find a single person on an Earth replica planet? Just land in a random neighborhood. Always works.	Marvel is back to peak form with this amazing close out to the GotG trilogy. All the feels. All the action. All the comedy. Just a damn good time.
24	KILLER OF THE FLOWER MOON	85		It was a well acted, well crafted movie but it is WAY too long and definitely shouldn’t have included a “No intermission” clause in the contract with theater operators.
25	A HAUNTING IN VENICE	85	I would be perfectly pleased to have another Poirot movie like this come out every 18 months	I really like Branagh’s Poirot movies. He is just incredible as the character. I was surprised when they made a sequel to the first film and STUNNED when they made a sequel to this one. They don’t do well at the theater, so maybe they have some baller streaming numbers. This one didn’t connect at the box office so I will be (pleasantly) stunned if we get a fourth. If not, thanks for three fun, parlour room mysteries.
26	THE BOYS IN THE BOAT	85		It was schmalzy and formulaic, but it was enjoyable schmaltz and a time tested formula.
27	STRAYS	85	Definitely one of the three best movies about biting penis	I did not expect this movie to be good, but man was it the fun night out I needed. It is dumb, but much better than the wholesome, family dog movies.
28	OPERATION FORTUNE: RUSE DE GUERRE	85	Fun action flick, don’t understand why critics were mixed	Pretty much the sweet spot of Ritchie’s normal fare, which I love, so that isn’t a bad thing in this case…
29	JOY RIDE	85	A road trip in China and the most memorable part is the Eiffel Tower	Proof that going away from tentpole superhero movies isn’t going to save theaters, because this movie was fun and still fizzled.
30	ASTEROID CITY	85		This might be my arthouse equivalent of Ryan’s Fast and the Furious devotion. I know it is pretentious and fart sniffing…but the WHIMSY!
31	CHAMPIONS	85	Tries to be a bit more than a sports movie but doesn’t quite make it	A major surprise how much fun and heart this movie had. Really enjoyable flick.
32	GODZILLA MINUS ONE	84	Amazing take on Godzilla as an overwhelming force.	A limited budget and a smart director made for the best Godzilla movie I’ve ever seen.
33	THE MARVELS	84	Total blast and never dragged. Far better than the reviews or box office suggest.	I am so sad that this movie is being perceived as a failure because it was such a fun movie. Sure, it is probably not targeted at the core MCU audience, but that doesn’t mean it was not worth seeing. I think superhero movie fans are way too spoiled after Endgame and cannot enjoy films for what they are.
34	HOT POTATO: THE STORY OF THE WIGGLES	83	Great story of the band that I know way too many lyrics to their songs.	This was actually an impressive look at the band and how they used early education training to influence their material. Surprised there weren’t more hookers and blow in this musical biography…
35	THEY CLONED TYRONE	83	Solid, but not spectacular, racial science fiction. Less Jordan Peele than Jordan Zest.	It was very good, but could have been great with a little edgier humor. But you know who wasn’t the issue? Jamie Foxx! He was gold!
36	THEATER CAMP	83	Some truly great moments with no plot	This connected with me because I KNOW these people. Might have worked better without the overarching plot…
37	DUMB MONEY	83	Sort of interesting but missing the parts that makes it compelling	I really liked the Netflix docuseries about it, so the movie was fun. It did lose a little ground for removing some of the moral consequences the doc shared. It wasn’t just Wall Street that lost a fortune in this cool David beats Goliath story…
38	KEVIN HART & CHRIS ROCK: HEADLINERS ONLY	83	Some solid moments and insight into comedy as a career	A fun look at two performers I enjoy talking about their lives and their craft. Good for fans of standup.
39	UNTOLD: JOHNNY FOOTBALL	83	I watched the whole movie and I still feel like this story is untold	This doc actually made me feel sorry for someone who annoyed the shit out of me when he was in the news. Dude just fell apart under the pressure.
40	INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY	83	Fuck Mangold	It could have been 10 minutes shorter, but otherwise fun. Harrison was great as always. Audiences seemed to have reject this movie, but 20 years from now when Harrison is gone, I will be happy that we have this in the catalog.
41	CHEVALIER	82	So much of the historical record of this guy was destroyed…why did they choose to make him so boring?	The movie and subject matter were good. What made this noteworthy was Kelvin Harrison, Jr.’s outstanding performance. He needs a tentpole movie soon!
42	JOHN MULANEY: BABY J	82	Wants to be a comeback special, feels like he’s still falling	The only thing that would have been funnier was a sketch reenactment of his intervention.
43	THE LEAGUE	82		The reason why the pre-1950s records in baseball aren’t as sacred as they tell you…
44	RENFIELD	82		Nic Cage was on point. He accounts for 90% of the score I gave this one.
45	THE SPEECH	82		As a Houston Cougar fan, I HATE the NC State Wolfpack. But I can’t help but love their skipper.
46	TETRIS	82	A lot of lives were put at risk for me to waste so many hours in high school.	The origin story of the game that came with our Gameboy also came with a side of drama.

DECENT FLICKS

47	JOHN WICK 4	81	Dogs are the best.	Every scene was great, but they could have shaved 3-4 to make it a better overall movie
48	PAST LIVES	81		Beautifully made film but really dragged on at times. Kind of like Nomadland. I appreciated it more than I liked it…
49	MAESTRO	81		Maestro? So-so! The film dragged a lot but I will say that Cooper was excellent.
50	FLASH	81	Flash! Aaaaahh-aaahhhh! He killed the Snyderverse!	Was it the Flash movie I wanted? No. Was it the Flash movie general audiences wanted? No. Did I enjoy it on a first viewing? Yes. Will I watch it once a year? No chance.
51	THE BEANIE BUBBLE	80	Zach G shows he’s the closest we’ve got to Robin Williams.	A good streamer for a Friday on the couch. Fun business caper.
52	END OF NIGHT	80		Not quite there yet for the medium, but shows what VR movies COULD be like when we round the corner.
53	BAMA RUSH	80	2023 wants you to know that Alabama sucks.	I was in a fraternity. I am from Alabama. I root for the Crimson Tide. I have a ton of white privilege. This movie made me embarrassed of all of that….
54	GLITCH: THE RISE AND FALL OF HQ TRIVIA	80	Oh, so THAT’s what happened	A lot of nostalgia on this one. I was playing live the night the system overloaded and the charismatic host had to vamp about fidget spinners. Little did I know the drama behind it. We need a movie version of this one!
55	SAY HEY, WILLIE MAYS	80		The kind of documentary that makes you a bigger fan of the player…and the man.
56	KNOCK AT THE CABIN	80	Knock knock. Who’s there? Interesting premise that would have been better if left vague. Interesting premise that would– Oh shut up.	I like M. Knight movies that rely on interesting characters and stories more than going back to the well with another twist.
57	BILL RUSSELL: LEGEND	80		The man won so much it took 2:40 to tell the full story. A better man than an athlete…and he was an all-time athlete.
58	MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING- PART 1	80	This is the best MI movie with a sandstorm but no Dell Streaks.	I was sad this movie didn’t do as well as they wanted. It was on par with all but the best of the franchise and I thought Cruise would ride a post TG:M high. Shame because it was fun.
59	COCAINE BEAR	79	Way better than it had any reason to be.	The title prepares you for the film. And it doesn’t disappoint.
60	NAPOLEON	78		Probably would have been a great, if inaccurate, historical biopic in 2006. But this movie just seems a little tired now. Fine for an afternoon matinee.
61	CHRIS ROCK: SELECTIVE OUTRAGE	78	The last half made up for the first half.	Rock is not as funny as he once was, and comes off as a little bitter at times, but he still is good for some laughs.
62	THE BLACKENING	78	Succeeds at being genuine and a parody.	It started off slow but really found its rhythm in the second act.
63	UNKNOWN: CAVE OF BONES	78	The contemplation of death as a measure for sentience is so deep they had to put it in a cave.	Quirky tale of a life’s work coming to fruition. Fun stuff.
64	M3GAN	77	This went off the deep end when Megan started killing people that had no bearing to keeping her friend safe.	This should not have been as good as it was.
65	SOUTH PARK: CRED	77		The whole show’s plot revolved around my job. It was too distracting…
66	FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S	77		I expected this to be a Bottom Ten entry but it surprised me with a little more story and sophistication than I thought would come from a Haunted Chuck E Cheese video game adaptation.
67	THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES	77		This was a lot better than I expected and it was all because of the strong performance of Tom Blythe.
68	GRAN TURISMO: THE MOVIE	77	Zoooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm	This was the year of passable video game adaptation or true stories of people who played video games so much they became race car drivers .

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

69	THE GREAT HEISMAN RACE OF 1997	76		I enjoyed watching this with Collin, a new fan of football. He thought Manning won for sure, and I did some of my best acting ever when he asked me when the last time a defensive player won the Heisman…
70	SOUTH PARK: JOINING THE PANDERVERSE	76		One of the better South Park episodes of the last several years. Definitely started a conversation online, and in true South Park fashion, everyone thinks is means exactly what they think.
71	HUNGER	76	Fantastic addition to the Food Movie genre	Well acted and always interesting to see compelling foreign films from countries other than the usual ones like France or India.
72	A GOOD PERSON	76		A good movie but missing some elements to make it memorable.
73	THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE	76	Better than it should have been.	The right blend of silly fun, surprisingly powerful nostalgia, and great animation.
74	UNKNOWN: COSMIC TIME MACHINE	76	Tough to make a thriller out of a success story, but still very cool.	Neat story about a technology that brings joy to my Instagram account.
75	SCOUTS HONOR	76		So proud of the former Youth Investigator for turning down a severance so he didn’t have to sign an NDA.
76	SHAZAM! FURY OF THE GODS	75	Entire movie felt like it should have been a holiday special.	A perfectly cromulent movie that, like Black Adam, seemed from a simpler time…
77	THE JEWEL THIEF	75		I love how the other people in the doc tell you the main subject is lying in his interviews. So funny…
78	BIOSPHERE	75		A little too weird to be great, but always respect for indie scifi dramedy effort….
79	SLY	75		I enjoyed the look at his career, but it was very clear he wanted us to see him as a very serious actor…to the point of him re-creating scenes from his movie in the interviews to show how powerful it was.
80	MISSING: THE LUCY BLACKMAN CASE	75		Interesting true crime doc about police work in Japan. The officers make the doc pop.
81	MISSING	75	This series continues to produce some great stories, I hope they make ten more.	Fun sequel to a movie I really liked, but did NOT stick the landing
82	THE SAINTS OF SECOND CHANCES	75		I like these “crazy days of baseball” movies.
83	1000% ME: GROWING UP MIXED	74		They interviewed some very charismatic kids who explained a complicated subject in a very easy to understand way.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

84	YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH	74	I’m glad bat mitzvah aged girls have a movie for them. Not for me.	I could tell this was a smart, well-made YA movie, but I am not the target audience.
85	ANT-MAN: QUANTUMANIA	74	Meaningless, pandering drivel.	I think this is better than Ryan suggests. It just suffers from a spoiled fanbase.
86	A MAN CALLED OTTO	74		Use every dirty trick to move your heart strings and it tends to work…
87	NO HARD FEELINGS	74	A forgettable movie with one unforgettable scene	Dumb fun that just doesn’t work as theatrical releases anymore.
88	CREED 3	74		The franchise got weaker each installment, but none of them were bad…
89	BLUE BEETLE	74	When you’re watching a movie and think “Thank god George Lopez is in this!” that’s not a good sign	This movie was fine. I feel bad it fell in the wake of some turds like Black Adam.
90	LEO	74	This movie is FAR FAR better than it had any right to be, and one of the songs near the end has some of the best lyrics ever penned.	This was a nice cartoon, but I was expecting more irreverant humor and it was all-ages friendly. A little too tame for the Watson who doesn’t have young kids.
91	THE CREATOR	73	It’s like nobody even watches The Princess Bride anymore	Really well crafted. Great FX. Story goes South in the third act. I hate movies that rely on the “everyone turns stupid so the heroes can succeed” button. That happens here, big time!
92	GHOSTED	73	It’s good to know if I’m ever kidnapped in London and taken to Pakistan while I’m knocked out at least my assailants will bring my luggage.	This movie was was good, silly fun. If I saw it at the theater, I would have said “that should have been on a streamer” so since it was, I liked it.
93	STEPHEN CURRY: UNDERRATED	73		The doc is neither underrated nor overrated. It was just rated. I like Curry, but I do dislike this trend of famous people telling their own stories.
94	STAN LEE	73		An interesting figure but this shed a little light on the controversy between him and his fellow Marvel creators.
95	DALILAND	72		A fantastic performance by Kingsley, but a pretty average biopic.
96	BEING MARY TYLER MOORE	72		A true pioneer in entertainment.
97	SCREAM 6	72	Great concept, but except for the fantastic convenience store scene this wasn’t really in NYC.	One of the better installments, but it would have been better if they never made Scream 5. I love the universe they have where copycats make sense, but man has this series gotten redundant.
98	LEGION OF SUPERHEROES	72		A passably fun DCAU feature.
99	THE HATCHET WIELDING HITCHHIKER	72		Shocking that this guy’s story ended poorly.
100	HYPNOTIC	72	Ben Affleck may have helped get this movie made, but I feel like a better lead could have made this a truly great film	This is one of those movies that was REALLY close to being special but missed the mark. It felt like it wanted to be a Memento or Inception but Rodriguez just couldn’t unlike the Nolan magic.
101	UNTOLD: JAKE PAUL PROBLEM CHILD	71	I came out respecting some people, which shocked me	Entirely passable use of 2:10 of my life.
102	FLAMIN’ HOT	71	Feel good story that doesn’t gloss over the negative parts.	Unlike the Flaming Hot variety, this movie was a little cheesy. Still, it had its moments.
103	THE EQUALIZER 3	71		Much better than the second one, which fell far from the quality of the original installment. Enjoyed it for a weeknight PVOD rental.
104	WHAM!	71	Gave me even more respect for George Michael	ADEQUATE!
105	ELEMENTAL	71		Pretty animation. Kind of an unexceptional script.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

106	BATMAN: THE DOOM THAT CAME TO GOTHAM	71		I think I am getting tired of every other DCAU movie being about Batman in an Elseworlds setting.
107	UNTOLD: HALL OF SHAME	71	For a documentary about baseball cheating I wish it did more than cover the bases	I mainly remember that the BALCO headquarters is just down the street from my office in the Bay Area.
108	LOST IN THE ARTIC	71		Don’t expect an ending. File this under the “nice try” header.
109	THE WEEKND: LIVE AT SOFI STADIUM	70	This is way better than seeing a concert in person.	Made me want to see a Weeknd concert in person but not watch this again.
110	SARAH SILVERMAN: SOMEONE YOU LOVE	70	One outstanding Holocaust joke and the rest was meh	It passed the time, and had some funny moments, but it didn’t really catch fire very often.
111	REGGIE	70		Paint by numbers doc of an interesting life.
112	TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS	70	This was a blast, far better than any Transformers movie should be	Definitely the best non-Bumblebee Transformers movie since the original. Not great, but leagues better than the other sequels.
113	BYE BYE BARRY	70		This falls into my “60 Minutes” rule of documentaries. I enjoyed the content and the focus of the doc, but this story could have been told in a single segment of CBS’s newsmagazine 60 Minutes instead of a feature length documentary,
114	THE DEVIL ON TRIAL	70		It waits too long in the story to introduce skepticism.
115	UNKNOWN: KILLER ROBOTS	70	I wanted this to be more probing (pun partially intended)	They tried to do too much and tell multiple important stories; doing none of them justice.
116	THE MOTHER	70	Even in an action film they managed to feature J-Lo’s butt.	This was a movie of 2023.
117	VICTIM/SUSPECT	70	2023 really wants you to know Alabama sucks.	Maddening but Mediocre. The film covers a powerful subject but the filmmaking is unworthy of the material.
118	ANNA SMITH: YOU DON’T KNOW ME	70		Made me feel sorry for Anna but not much else…
119	MONEY SHOT: THE PORNHUB STORY	69	You have to admire the documentarians that manage to make half a movie about porn boring.	The best thing about this doc is the title.
120	PAMELA, A LOVE STORY	65		“Thinking is overrated” is a line Pamela uses that captures why she’s struggled with her love stories, other than her sweet relationship with her kids.
121	WE HAVE A GHOST	65	We have a franchise!	Ugh. This movie was so boring. I liked some of the performances, but this movie was for children. And Ryan…

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

122	65	65		I was expecting a trainwreck and instead got a fender bender. This movie would have done well in 2012.
123	80 FOR BRADY	63		The kind of movie that will be my Mom’s favorite movie of 2023.
124	MATT RIFE: NATURAL SELECTION	62	This was total garbage. Rife has some good moments on stage and I’ve seen plenty of clips, I was hoping that would translate into a good set but it did not at all	This was a passable hour of time killing. But apparently he’s taking heat for the opening joke…
125	YOU PEOPLE	62	Missed opportunity for something great, but still good.	A real missed opportunity. Had some great moments in the third act but they felt unearned by a choppy start.
126	MURDER MYSTERY 2	61	Perfect airplane movie.	The first part was a decent movie that could have been better if they leaned into the parlour room murder mystery tropes. This film, they leaned the exact opposite direction…
127	THE BOY AND THE HERON	60		This was the first film by Hayao Miyazaki I had ever seen and it continued to prove anime is just not for me. I was bored to tears and the only thing that kept the film out of my bottom ten was that the animation is indeed beautiful.
128	THE OUT-LAWS	58	Best Bond joke ever.	Out-Laws was a “I watched it on the couch on a Friday. Gave it a bad score. Glad I watched. Would watch 1 of that quality every month” movies.
129	TAKE CARE OF MAYA	55	Fuck Florida	I’m not sure they convinced me of their conclusion, but their triumphant music definitely thought they did. A subject that needed objectivity.
130	JUSTICE LEAGUE: WARWORLD	53		Pretty mediocre story that was part of a movie.
131	CHARLES: IN HIS OWN WORDS	51		This felt like the royal family had a man in the editing bay. Definitely a sympathetic look at a guy without exploring his faults as well as they should have.
132	THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER	50		It wasn’t scary and it was a little boring…
133	THE PALE BLUE EYE	50	I mean, that guy REALLY looks like Edgar Allen Poe.	Cousin Dudley was good but there wasn’t much of a film around him.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

134	AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM	50	50? 50? How high were you when you watched this??? This was utter and complete bullshit.	Did I miss the story that George Lucas wrote and directed this movie? It’s just like one of the Prequels. Momoa does his best but they didn’t give him anything to work with. Sadly, despite being a fan, this isn’t my last entry in the bottom ten featuring JM.
135	WANDERING EARTH 2	50	Boooooo. Big science fiction with big conflict over big consequences–and it looked incredible. Loved this one almost as much as the original.	I’ll admit it… It is a good looking film. Sadly, “Wandering Earth” is how you say “Michael Bay” in Mandarin…
136	HOUSE PARTY	47	The best movie ever produced by LeBron James.	I liked the parts that didn’t focus on the leads or their romantic interests. Sadly, that was like 10% of the movie.
137	THE POPE’S EXORCIST	45		Plodding in a way that makes plodding movies seem less plodding.
138	YOUR PLACE OR MINE	45	An innocent, fun rom com like the 90s used to make.	Every dumb cliche and bad script choice possible went into the making of this movie…
139	RETRIBUTION	35		It wouldn’t be my list without a Liam NEESON movie near the bottom. They spend no money on script or production values. None
140	BIG GEORGE FOREMAN: THE MIRACULOUS STORY OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD	30		I grew up in the suburb where George Foreman lived. I went to high school with one or two of the George/Georgias. This movie should have been a slam dunk for me, but boy was it a miss. I think they tried to make a faith based movie and sports bio movie at the same time; failing the target audiences for both.
141	KNIGHTS OF THE ZODIAC	27	The only thing that made sense in this movie was Sean Bean dying	I was so certain this would be in Ryan’s top ten for the year that I practically begged him to watch it. Sadly, he didn’t like it either.
142	THE MEG 2: THE TRENCH	25		This movie was so insultingly dumb. The original wasn’t high art, but it was fun. This leaned into every bad part of the original without the dash of charm that made the first one fun.
143	FAST X	10	Great cameos, great chases, great use of nitrous–what else could you want??	Worst X-Men movie ever…