Gabbing Geek’s own Tom Kelly is doing an amazing re-watch of all of the top 100 films as recognized by the AFI.
Standing around the water cooler (virtually that is… Tom is a good friend, but we’ve only met three times in person!), discussing the majesty that is Goodfellas, I remarked that it is a favorite all-time film of mine. Tom challenged me to rank my favorite all time films and finally get it on the record.
Continue reading Watson’s 25 Favorite Movies EVER! … & Five Painful Omissions!
The Oscar nominees are here, so Ryan and I had to chat about them all. While these aren’t necessarily our predictions, since that comes after careful consideration and evaluation of various oddsmakers, here is what we’re thinking.
Continue reading Watson & Ryan Debate The 2018 Oscar Nominations
Having recently reviewed The Post, the latest film from Steven Spielberg, I got to talking with fellow Gabbing Geek movie reviewer, Tom Kelly, about Spielberg’s career. In Tom’s review, he noted that this seemed to be a little bit of a paint by numbers affair from someone I have described as the greatest director of all-time.
So that got me thinking: When is a project WORTHY of Steven Spielberg getting behind the camera and directing?
Known troll of Gabbing Geek, Phil, was texting me yesterday and was asking me about my favorite books in the science fiction, fantasy, and horror genre. A few recommendations became a request for a top ten. So here we are. My top ten genre books of all-time!
When events in the world shit the bed, it is nice to escape reality and go to the movies. Even movies that explore difficult and painful subjects felt like a calming relief from reading the newspaper every day in 2017. So let’s celebrate the year in film with my annual review of all the new releases I saw!
Continue reading Watson Ranks the Top 125 Movies of 2017
I took a lot of heat when I beat up the Last Jedi on my first viewing. The Gabbing Geek editorial staff revolted and demanded I review it again after a second time at the theater. How did I feel about the film upon a second viewing? Did it improve in my rankings?
Continue reading A Hater Reconsiders Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Spoilers)
Has it really been two years since Gabbing Geek published the greatest article the internet has ever seen? What… a… rollercoaster! Fan letters. Press conferences. The late night talk shows. Groupies. Oh the groupies!
It’s been a whirlwind.
No single article in Gabbing Geek history has been more debated, discussed, and admired than “What Would Happen If The Justice League Had To Fight….TO THE DEATH?!?”
The debate rages on to this very day. Friendships were shattered. Families torn apart. Trump was elected. This article had consequences, people!
But we at Gabbing Geek like to stir the pot…
Time for…The Sequel! So without further ado, please enjoy (Oh, I know you will!), What Would Happen If The Marvel Cinematic Universe Had To Fight….TO THE DEATH?!?
Continue reading What Would Happen If The Marvel Cinematic Universe Had To Fight….TO THE DEATH?!?
It is EXACTLY the movie Ryan Garcia thought it would be. Is that a good thing or a bad thing or somewhere in between? Read on to find out!
Both Ryan and I made our bold predictions for the 2016 Box Office way back in January of 2016 (Ryan’s predictions are here and my responses are here). In true geek fashion, we turned our predictions into a contest to see who would get closer to the actual totals of the movies. The contest was incredibly close–I missed big by underestimating Jungle Book and Ryan way overestimated the success of the Ghostbusters reboot. In the end, it was pretty much decided by Ryan wisely hedging on whether Channing Tatum’s X-Men spinoff, Gambit, would be released (it wasn’t). Although the final numbers are still trickling in, we gave ourselves a point for every million dollars we missed in a movie’s total box office and Ryan looks to win by about 28 points/million dollars. Given that the movies we played with combined to earn $6.144 BILLION dollars, our margin of victory came down to less than one half of a percent of the total box office we predicted.
Last year, Ryan set the baseline numbers and Watson came along with his prediction. For 2017, Watson is the smarmy ass who takes first stab at the predictions while Ryan gets to be a critical jerk who criticizes. This will be easy roles for both of Gabbing Geek’s Box Office experts.
And now…NUMBERS! (And captions by Ryan!)
Release Date:12/15/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $850
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $1,000
Watson Says: I was projecting a little lower until I saw the Box Office of Rogue One. Star Wars is a force to be reckoned with.
Garcia Says: How impressive is Star Wars? So impressive that Watson is FINALLY projecting a movie will make more than $400 million in a year! If this was a month ago I would have called under Watson’s number as I think a new Star Wars movie coming every year dilutes some of the event nature of the movie. But a good sequel can outperform the original (think Catching Fire, and yes I know it’s a flawed analogy because Episode VII wasn’t really the original but you know what I mean). With the passing of Carrie Fisher, I think this is going to bring fans and mainstream audiences alike back in droves. I’m making my first bold call of the year by predicting Episode VIII to be the first billion dollar domestic grossing film ever.
Release Date:11/17/17
Watson Prediction (Millions):$500
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $350
Watson Says: Despite being terrible, the DCCU films have been huge hits. I think this one will stink (damn you, Zack Snyder!) but will perform very well. Avengers made $600M and was good, so I think this one is a little short of that.
Garcia Says: The DC movies continue to outperform our expectations but they’ve all hovered around the $300M mark. I think Wonder Woman will be better than the previous three films but that will make this look worse by comparison.
Release Date: 5/5/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $400
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $370
Watson Says: My brother, who doesn’t like SciFi loves this flick. Guardians has huge crossover appeal.The first film did $303M but I think GotG2 grows on the success of the original. Hopefully Ryan can forgive Pratt for the sins of Passengers.
Garcia Says: All is forgiven with this return to greatness. I think this may be the most anticipated Marvel movie since Avengers. I just wish they’d opened on Memorial Day weekend. And even though I think this movie is going to be so much fun, I’m also not sure it’s going to be that much better than the first movie. Marvel sequels only do better than the original when they give us something MORE. Not sure this one can do it.
Release Date: 7/7/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $335
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $380
Watson Says: One of the toughest movies to predict this year. The highest grossing Spider(hyphen)Man movie was $403M (the original Tobey Maguire flick) and the lowest grossing film was $202M (The second Andrew Garfield movie). I pretty much split the difference and then tacked on about $35M for the appearance of RDJ as Tony Stark…which is probably his paycheck for a few minutes of screentime.
Garcia Says: Marvel fans know that RDJ probably won’t make too many more Marvel movies and we’re all looking for that one guy that can replace him in terms of charisma and energy. Spider-Man may be that character, if Civil War was right. I could see this doing over 400 but no need to rub salt in Watson’s wounds.
Release Date: 3/17/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $310
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $350
Watson Says: Cinderella’s live action adaptation made $200M but Beauty and the Beast is a musical, stars Emma Watson, and is probably a bigger box office draw than a more antiquated story about a gold digger.
Garcia Says: Another movie that will fall victim to timing. Spring break will bring in the kids but it’s going to cut against the slightly older crowd who grew up with the original back in 1992. Oh wait, all those people will bring their kids. Yeah, this one is going to do amazing numbers.
Release Date: 6/30/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $285
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $310
Watson Says: Part 2 made $368M and Minions made $336M, but I feel like the franchise is running out of stream (despite a good but largely Minionless trailer). Still a hit, and enough to warrant more films, but I think we see a dip in the take.
Garcia Says: Minions was awful and made over 300. The only question here is if Cars 3 is the floating turd in the kids movie swimming pool.
Release Date: 4/14/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $260
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $300
Watson Says: The last two instalments made $233M and $353M. The latter was driven by the curiosity over the death of Paul Walker. Predicting this series is hard for me because I can’t go by the quality of the trailers, because they always look so shitty. Number at a dartboard…
Garcia Says: Ever since this series clicked in the fifth film the box office has been a steady upward line. I agree that 7 brought in a bit of extra attention but these are FANTASTIC movies. If this was a straight summer release they’d do more, which makes me think they really are going to swivel the series again as the trailers suggest so I’m taking my original estimate down a bit but still north of Watson’s.
Release Date: 11/3/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $250
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $275
Watson Says: This is high for a Thor movie? The first two films made $181M and $202M, so why predict $250M for the third installment of the weakest MCU franchise? Two words. HULK SMASH! Given some legal wranglings between Marvel and Universal Studios (who produced the Edward Norton feature The Incredible Hulk), Marvel seemingly cannot make a solo Hulk film. Putting Hulk (and Dr Strange) in Thor’s solo film means we may get a Diet Coke version of Planet Hulk (or a mini-Avengers movie like Civil War). That’s worth a bump at the Box Office…even if it is the B-team.
Garcia Says: Can’t disagree with Watson’s analysis here, try as I might. Civil War was the Diet Coke version of the Avengers. This will be the Coke Life version of the Avengers–we acknowledge it exists but we’re still not sure why we’re drinking it.
Release Date: 2/10/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $225
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $315
Watson Says: The Lego movie made $257M, so why am I going lower given this one has Batman? I’m guessing this one will not have as broad appeal to the audience that made Lego a hit and might not be embraced by the fans of the grim and gritty Nolan films. I am really interested to see Ryan’s take on this entry!
Garcia Says: Watson, you ignorant slut. Oh, and your take on the movie is totally off. The trailer to this movie is better than most of the kids movies I saw in 2016. Kids and parents were laughing at this in the theater and unlike other trailers it didn’t feel like we saw all the best jokes. This is going to be a huge crossover hit. Kids that are too young to see real superhero movies can be taken by parents who laughed at the trailer and the success of the Lego Movie will make everyone else feel comfortable going to. If it weren’t in February this would be even bigger.
Release Date: 6/2/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $225
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $333
Watson Says: I really think this one will make $224,999,999…because it will make $1 less than an animated Batman movie. Just to piss Jenny off. Second prediction: this will gross lower than Bat Soup or Suicide Squad but will have a much better Rotten Tomatoes score. Again…the universe LOVES crapping on Jenny.
Garcia Says: I wasn’t wild about the World War 1 setting initially, but the trailers have been great and provide a novel take on action that may appeal to the comic book fans who weren’t particularly looking for a Wonder Woman film. I think the movie has more potential for backlash from the female audience depending on how the story goes down. But DC films don’t need to be liked to perform decently.
Release Date: 6/23/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $220
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $221
Watson Says: While this film will make a bajillion dollars in Asia, in the U.S. it will see the continued downward trend of the franchise’s box office. The first Markie Mark entry made only $245M (down from the final Shia Shenanigan which took in $352M), so I predict this one to make even less.
Garcia Says: I don’t know anyone who still sees these movies but they still bring in money. I can’t really disagree with Watson on this one and since I know how much he hates Price is Right rules I thought I’d pull in the one dollar victory on a movie he can now hate twice as much. Hey Watson, in the words of Maui:
Release Date: 5/26/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $180
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $165
Watson Says: Johnny Depp, who was the biggest star of the first decade of the 20th Century, doesn’t have it anymore. Pirates is his best chance for relevance, but the fourth installment made only 78% of the gross of the third. I see about the same drop off for the fifth instalment.
Garcia Says: I don’t care enough about this film to even finish thi
Release Date: 6/16/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $175
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $176
Watson Says: Cars 2 is viewed as the worst of the Pixar films by far and still made $191M. It is really just for little kids (and maybe Tom’s gearhead family member). The trailer looks interesting, but there is a possibility by making it bleak Pixar scares off its core audience.
Garcia Says: Kids hate this trailer more than Watson hates the Price is Right, so I’m doing them both a favor.
Release Date: 3/31/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $160
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $80
Watson Says: This seemed like a dumb idea, reminiscent of the Simpsons throw gag TV show of Admiral Baby, but the trailer played REALLY well at Moana and Sing. I could see this being a hit in the range of Home or Trolls but don’t see it doing Zootopia or Secret Life of Pets money.
Garcia Says: This is a kids movie that was sentenced to death by timing. No Spring Break bump and I’m thinking by March everyone, EVERYONE will be sick of an immature businessman who thinks he knows better than everyone else and is voice by Alec Baldwin. Loser!
Release Date: 6/9/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $160
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $140
Watson Says: Tom Cruise is a box office star, but his biggest openers are in the lower $200Ms and not in the franchise realm. I am skeptical that Universal can build a connected universe from its monster properties, but this one could do ok.
Garcia Says: The last Mission Impossible film built on a successful franchise, had positive reviews, and was a lot of fun. And THAT didn’t make over $200. There’s a reason we don’t make Mummy films anymore. If the Church of Scientology hadn’t already purchased $120 million worth of tickets this would be a huge bomb.
Release Date: 7/14/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $155
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $240
Watson Says: As long as there are Apes…on Horses…with machine guns!, I am there.
Garcia Says: Called it. But Watson missed the steady rise in this series’ performance because these are really, really good movies. I think this will continue that trend.
Release Date:11/22/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $150
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $205
Watson Says: Book of Life covered the Day of the Dead in animated form not too long ago, so I am surprised Pixar would cover the same ground so soon after. This one will probably benefit from not having Mumford and Sons covers…
Garcia Says: Is this another Good Dinosaur? It’s so early to try and predict, but it is Pixar. I have to imagine they’re dialing it in for Cars 3 and spending all of their energy on this movie, so I think it isn’t another Good Dinosaur and will make over 200.
Release Date:4/7/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $145
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $55
Watson Says: The live action films did well but were critically savaged. I think this purely animated film would have done much better (north of $300M) if the crappy flicks that preceded it hadn’t damaged the brand).
Garcia Says: WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING THESE MOVIES??? AND WHY DO MY KIDS WANT TO SEE THEM??? THIS ENDS NOW!!
Release Date: 7/28/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $130
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $110
Watson Says: This one was kind of a hedge. I could see it doing $50M and I could see it doing $250M. There really isn’t a mass following for this series, but it does have SOME brand appeal.
Garcia Says: I remember loving these books all the way through Wizards and Glass. But by the time the remaining books came out so much time had passed that I didn’t remember what I liked about them, so I’m intensely curious about the movie. Will that translate to box office performance? I can’t tell–cutting 7 books into one movie means they’ll likely stick to the core story as opposed to all the King references he brought in. But the core story was good, and Westworld may help pave the way to some broader acceptance. I think the late July date shows a lack of confidence by the studio that impacted my total.
Release Date: 5/19/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $130
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $90
Watson Says: Scott cleverly makes Prometheus 2 and steals money from his fans by calling in an Alien movie. Clever.
Garcia Says: I love the Aliens franchsie. I even liked Prometheus. The trailer to this movie is horrible. There’s nothing all that new about it, it’s just another Alien film. Which is fine, I guess, but we want more. How about we strand the astronauts with an Alien and Mark Watney has to go save them?
Release Date: 3/24/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $130
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $110
Watson Says: A good cast and a good premise, but why the generic title that has been used many times, including a 1999 Eddie Murphy comedy….and not one of his good ones?
Garcia Says: This trailer looks like a better Alien move than the new Alien movie. But it’s a Mars movie without Mark Watney, so that isn’t a good sign.
Release Date: 3/3/17
Watson Prediction (Millions) :$120
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $180
Watson Says: The X-Men franchise is in the decline to the point where the title doesn’t even mention Wolverine or the X-Men. Time for Jackman to retire the character…but really so I win a lunch bet.
Garcia Says: For two movies in a row I mentioned Mark Watney but I’m not going to do that here. Oh, whoops. This is a great trailer and I’m curious to see how they work with one of the best Wolverine stories of all time. Just the trailer was enough to make me forgive them for the last standalone Wolverine film but this won’t have the same fun as Deadpool to cross the $200 mark (watney).
Release Date: 12/22/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $120
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $110
Watson Says: A remake of a movie that wasn’t even that big of a hit. But the Rock is good at family friendly fare. I am surprised this is a December release; going up against Episode 8. This movie would have been better at a pre-Thanksgiving release.
Garcia Says: This is the movie you’ll go see when Episode VIII is still sold out.
Release Date: 3/24/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $110
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $130
Watson Says: Watching the trailer, me and my kids wanted to see this movie until we saw it was the Power Rangers reboot. I guess that is good?
Garcia Says: It’s a great trailer. I despise the Power Rangers but the trailer was good. And Bryan Cranston.
Release Date: 3/10/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $105
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $220
Watson Says: This movie REALLY looks interesting in the trailers, but I bet it will be dreadful. $105M is what a prediction looks like when I feel that way…
Garcia Says: Good trailer and this is the attempt to tie Godzilla and King Kong together–so I’m thinking another trailer will come out that reveals Godzilla for a flash and we geeks will TOTALLY FREAK OUT! And that last Godzilla movie was pretty good for not showing Godzilla. But it had Bryan Cranston, who’s as good as you can get without getting Mark Watney.
Release Date:9/8/17
Watson Prediction (Millions):$100
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $70
Watson Says: I am only seeing this movie if I am sitting next to Jenny.
Garcia Says: And I will be sitting in the row behind but will crawl underneath to grab Jenny’s ankles every five minutes.
Release Date: 7/21/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $100
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $130
Watson Says: It has Nolan. It will be an awards darling. It will likely be brilliant. So why so low? Because this is a U.S. box office game. Americans don’t like war movies with non-American leads who aren’t from a galaxy far, far away.
Garcia Says: Great release timing for a movie that otherwise would have made under $100. Unless there’s a twist to this movie we don’t know about.
Release Date: 2/1/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $100
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $65
Watson Says: Good thing there is a white man to help the locals or this wouldn’t be a movie. 😦
Garcia Says: February movie for a film that was made for the Chinese market. They’ll release to a little marketing push and take what they can.
Release Date: 5/12/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $80
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $125
Watson Says: This is an important film for Amy Schumer. Is she the next queen of comedy now that Melissa McCarthy is showing signs of handing over the title?
Garcia Says: I really liked the trailer (warning, it’s a red band trailer) but this might be a hard sell. Still, I think the team behind The Heat and Spy makes good stuff, so I’m in.
Release Date: 8/4/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $75
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $90
Watson Says: I want this one to bomb, and think it will, but after Trump I no longer underestimate the stupidity of my fellow Americans so I am hedging.
Garcia Says: I’m really upset at myself for pointing out how Watson’s initial estimate ($25) was so low that he was more of an idiot than the audience who will buy tickets to it. So now I’m just going higher to make myself cheer for this awful movie as a form of self-punishment.
Release Date: 10/6/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $65
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $110
Watson Says: I don’t think anyone is clamoring for this continuation.
Garcia Says: Great timing. We expect less from October science fiction films and are often rewarded for our low expectations. This has so much awareness and Star Wars fans will want to see some Harrison Ford before Episode VIII.
Release Date:10/6/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $65
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $150
Watson Says: This one has a fan base after a great first installment, but it was a maybe for greenlight and will demonstrate that iffiness at the box office.
Garcia Says: The first one was great without making us expect too much. This should be a blast.
Release Date: 4/28/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $60
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $90
Watson Says: I had to go back to my notes to see what this film was. Hanks and Watson are great but not a guarantee at the box office.
Garcia Says: This one will have to be marketed correctly to succeed, but could be a nice thriller for the two stars.
Release Date: 1/20/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $60
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $50
Watson Says: It will get SOME benefit from Vin’s F&F films, but it is being released in January for a reason.
Garcia Says: Let’s see, January release of the third in an action series that probably peaked with the first film. Nope, it’s not Taken 3!
Release Date: 10/27/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $45
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $70
Watson Says: The premise SOUNDS interesting, but not sure the Cloverfield brand actually helps.
Garcia Says: Very cool premise (astronauts on space station trapped when the Earth vanishes). The Cloverfield movies tend to be around $70 million so I’m guessing the same for this one.
Release Date: 5/26/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $45
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $130
Watson Says: I think most fans of Baywatch prefer to view the show in private…
Garcia Says: Can this toe the line between a real Baywatch movie and a parody of itself? Did Watson think of an inapproriate joke when he read the word “toe”? We’ll find out! Still, it’s hard to imagine a Memorial Day movie with a massive marketing budget not rising all the way through the box office charts for the month. And yes, Watson’s head exploded reading that last sentence.
Release Date: 8/11/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $45
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $80
Watson Says: The first did well, but I see this one dropping considerably and doing much of its business opening weekend.
Garcia Says: Horror fans will be looking for something to see in August besides The Nut Job 2.
Release Date: 2/10/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $45
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $120
Watson Says: I could see this one doing so poorly, it (mercifully) ends the franchise.
Garcia Says: Remember how everyone hated this first movie and it did $166 million? Yeah. That.
Release Date: 7/21/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $40
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $55
Watson Says: The title is terrible.
Garcia Says: Lucy had a star to make a lot of money. This is just going to be a weird ride and we’ll have plenty of other options by the end of July.
Release Date: 12/22/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $40
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $120
Watson Says: Despite a HUGE financial uptick for part 2, I think audiences will opt out of a third one. I predict Ryan will go WAY high on this one…and see it five times.
Garcia Says: I’ll see it once thank you very much. But yeah, Watson’s number is INSANE. The first movie had almost no marketing which is why it did such low numbers but then became a hit once it made it to digital. The numbers behind the second film, which wasn’t as good as the first, showed the real market here. I think the third can be even worse and still do triple Watson’s estimate. This is going to be the movie he’ll point to for losing the 2017 game, mark (watney) my words!
Release Date: 3/31/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $40
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $35
Watson Says: #GhostInTheShellSoWhiteAndSoBad
Garcia Says: Who has two thumbs and has been waiting for decades to see a live action version of a famous Manga book? Pretty much nobody.
Release Date: 2/10/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $25
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $45
Watson Says: The first film was great but not a hit. I hope this one is just as good and I lose some points here if Ryan bets big.
Garcia Says: I don’t need to bet big with your sandbagging guess. But I can’t wait for this one to break out.
Release Date: 10/6/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $20
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $15
Watson Says: Very young girls + Bronies = $20M. I learned that in calculus.
Garcia Says: Finally, the movie that will make audiences everywhere ask “Can I see Smurfs: The Lost Village again?”
Release Date: 9/29/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $15
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $25
Watson Says: The first film was dark and smart. I figure this one will be millenial and crappy.
Garcia Says: I won’t see it despite liking the original. But it’ll get a bump from the Rogue One guy.
Release Date: 2/3/17
Watson Prediction (Millions): $15
Garcia Prediction (Millions): $25
Watson Says: This one won’t be putting any space between me and my wallet.
Garcia Says: Know what would have made this movie better? Mark Watney.
I wasn’t thrilled with this years slate of films. A lot of the tentpole movies either bombed or were way too generic. That said, always some good films out there. I see them all, so you don’t have to. Without further adieu, here is my Top 118 movies of 2016!
THE TOP TEN (The elite films of 2016)
1 DEADPOOL
Everything it was supposed to be and more. The promise of the “pirated” trailer came true in almost every scene. Ryan Reynolds needed a hit to stay relevant. This was his moment and he nailed it. Deadpool floated around in the top two or three for the whole year, but I never wanted to put it number one. Why not? Sometimes an action comedy can be better than a musical or a drama.
2 LA LA LAND
A modern musical that actually embraces convention….despite being about that very distinction. Stone and Gosling once again have amazing chemistry. Smart, sad, and beautiful. I am not really into filmed musicals (I prefer the stage), but this one nailed it. After a few early “big musical” numbers that made me think it would be more of the same, the music really started to feel organic to the story. Great movie.
3 MANCHESTER BY THE SEA
Amazingly a tear jerker one second and a quirky comedy the next. The transitions between the two were noticeable but not awkward. Casey Affleck adds a third Oscar to the family’s collection!
4 ARRIVAL
Smart Sci-Fi is always a welcome addition to the Oscar race. This one was heady, had twists, and some great acting and direction.
5 KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS
Like Inside Out last year, Kubo is a beautiful drama dressed up as a children’s movie. Excellent animation and mood.
6 HELL OR HIGH WATER
Great start to finish, but Jeff Bridges stole every second of the film. Deserves a Best Picture nod.
7 HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE
What could have been a total tearjerker came out as more of an Indie dramedy…which I love. The young boy playing opposite of Sam Neil was amazing. The dialogue in this film was perfect.
8 MOANA
A true Disney classic. I am not as star struck by Lin-Manuel Miranda as Ryan is, so I thought it was the Rock that made this movie great.
9 FENCES
A great performance piece translation of the Pulitzer Prize winning play. Viola Davis deserves an Oscar.
10 JUNGLE BOOK
This year’s Mad Max. A movie I totally prejudged unfairly. An instant classic.
THE EXCEPTIONAL (Films that were considered Top 10)
11 EYE IN THE SKY
An adult, morally complex movie that they don’t make very often anymore.
12 TRAIN TO BUSAN
One part Snowpiercer. One part Dawn of the Dead. What made it unique is that is had a sort of optimism to it despite the terror. I actually wanted these characters to survive which is usually the downfall of most horror movies.
13 SULLY
Tom Hanks’ best live action movie since Saving Private Ryan. Excellent performance!
14 ROGUE ONE
Half a mediocre movie, half a brilliant classic that was better than anything ever done with Star Wars. Could have been great but missed that mark and has to settle for very good.
15 PASSENGERS
I liked this a lot more than Ryan did apparently…
16 THE NICE GUYS
Reminded me of LA Confidential if it were set in the 70s and was written by Shane Black.
17 DON’T BREATHE
Horror/suspense often requires you to suspend disbelief to keep the characters in peril, but this creepy film didn’t require that. Good solid thriller.
18 CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
When I first saw this movie, I thought it was amazing. But after thinking about the silly Zemo plotline, I realized I only liked the final battle sequences.
19 LIFE, ANIMATED
Sweet documentary about a deeply autistic child who finds the world through the magic of Disney animated films.
20 MOONLIGHT
A series of short sequences featuring the same character over time played (in some cases) by different actors.
21 FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM
I like the idea of the Potterverse more than I like the films so this one was always going to be a little lower. The third act though was really strong. The ultimate test is, I would like to see more of this character and time period.
22 DR STRANGE
Not a big fan of this character, but I like Benedict. That balanced out to me enjoying an origin film (which I don’t like) as much as I possibly could. I am afraid that Marvel is become TOO formulaic.
23 JACKIE
Another Dallas Buyer’s Club entry. All about the acting and the story is just there to give the actors something to say.
24 EQUITY
An excellent commentary on being a successful woman in a high pressure job.
25 IMPERIUM
Smart film by Daniel Radcliffe as an FBI agent investigation the skinheads. Somewhat timely.
26 HOLY HELL
Documentary about a creepy cult leader who operated in Austin! Eerie as hell!
27 WEINER
What a douchebag! Amazing. Even before he impacted the 2016 election!
28 SAUSAGE PARTY
I love a movie that is both smart and stupid. This movie was close, but something kept it from getting all the way there. I wish I knew what that was. And yes…I might have ranked this next to Weiner on purpose.
29 DON’T THINK TWICE
The right blend of heart and comedy as the film tell the story of people struggling to make it.
30 CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
Nice quirky Indie movie that Ryan hated. I think he thought it was going to be a crossover between Civil War and the Fantastic Four.
31 ZOOTOPIA
A really cute start to a huge franchise.
THE ENJOYABLE (Films I am happy to say I saw, but not great…)
32 OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY
For a dumb harmless comedy, this had a lot of got moments. Bateman, Munn, and Miller were strong. Oddly Kate McKinnon was a little MEH in this one.
33 FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS
A sweet Emperor Has No Clothes film. Excellent performance by Hugh Grant.
34 WAR DOGS
A perfectly fine airplane movie. Only Jonah Hill’s performance made it even close to memorable.
35 CAFE SOCIETY
I like Woody Allen’s mood in film, but this one was kind of middle of the road for him.
36 FOR THE LOVE OF SPOCK
Not as interesting as Takei, but if you like Leonard Nimoy, it is worth your time.
37 ZERO DAYS
Fascinating doc on cyber warfare and the attack on the Iranian nuclear program.
38 FINDING DORY
Not as good as the first but much more a Toy Story quality sequel rather than Monsters U or Cars 2.
39 GHOSTBUSTERS
Much better than the trailer. I do not understand the misogynistic hate for this. Kate McKinnon had a great year of performances and this was second only to her work on SNL.
40 OUR KIND OF TRAITOR
Airplane movie only. Good performances and settings.
41 MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN
Interesting and quirky take on the X-Men,
42 THE WHITE HELMETS
These guys are the world’s real superheroes.
43 SUICIDE SQUAD
This year’s Fantastic Four. Much better than the brutal reviews. Margot Robbie was inspired. As good a comic performance as I’ve seen.
44 UNDER THE GUN
This documentary about guns made me mad.
45 GREEN ROOM
Legitimately scary and creepy without being over the top.
46 THE SHALLOWS
A fun summer thriller that surprised me a little.
47 MIDNIGHT SPECIAL
A Close Encounters for the modern age.
48 CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
A funny little comedy. Great chemistry between Kevin Hart and the Rock.
49 KEANU
Key and Peele are funny even when the plot if kind of pointless.
50 THE LOBSTER
So bizarre. It played like an Indie Drama but was supposed to be funny. Amidst the quirkiness was a brilliant commentary on relationships, love, and loneliness.
51 EVERYBODY WANTS SOME
Utterly pointless but incredibly charming.
52 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE
Misery meets scifi?
THE HARMLESS (Films I liked but were not worth recommending)
53 POPSTAR
Dumb fun with some really great songs
54 MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
Total popcorn movie. Worth the price of admission but total fluff. Loved Chris Pratt.
55 LOVING
Great performances but the script dragged on. Could have made the film more compelling by alternating between the Lovings and the legal case more.
56 BAD MOMS
A fine Itunes rental on a Friday night. Mila Kunis is very likeable.
57 STAR TREK BEYOND
I like this cast a lot but the actual plot was pretty recycled.
58 SNOWDEN
Stone’s dishonesty with facts takes away from a serious subject. I wish this money had been made by someone else. I did cringe every time they mentioned Dell…
59 SING
The music was good, but the plot felt stolen from the Muppets.
60 SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU
I love the Obamas, but the actors didn’t do much to live up to the real people.
61 MAGGIE’S PLAN
The kind of indie dramedy I like but it was kind of mediocre.
62 PETE’S DRAGON
Cute but unmemorable. Not bad but did not give me a razzle, dazzle day.
63 NEIGHBORS 2
Like Bad Moms, it was harmless fun.
64 KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES
Zach Galifianakis makes me laugh even in dumb comedies.
65 THE MEDDLER
Susan Sarandon and JK Simmons’ chemistry was compelling. JK can do no wrong for me.
66 SECRET LIFE OF PETS
Better than I thought. Extra laughs for our family because we have a tiny white dog named Gidget.
THE AIRPLANE MOVIES (Films worth watching on a plane)
67 MONEY MONSTER
Middle of the road. Clooney is likeable, but I don’t think Julia Roberts can act anymore…
68 BFG
The book was better but this was a nice bit of GCI.
69 RACE
Fairly Disney-esque but solid movie. Sudeikis was solid.
70 BROTHERS GRIMSBY
Gross and silly but fun to watch on iTunes.
71 NOW YOU SEE ME 2
About as good as the original. What made this one memorable was the AMAZING card scene in the computer lab! Ryan likes this way too much.
72 X-MEN APOCALYPSE
I liked this. Not the best X-film but much better than 42% RT.
73 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
Smart but with slow pacing. Enjoyed Fey, Freeman, and Billy Bob Thorton.
74 LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP
Witty and charming
75 LONDON HAS FALLEN
Decent action movie overall but an inspired action sequence at the beginning.
76 KUNG FU PANDA 3
This was pretty good. Why did they release this in January?
77 13 HOURS
Not bad for a Bay movie.
78 MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES
I laughed the whole time and then was ashamed.
79 JACK REACHER 2
The first Cruise movie I pay full price for in years and it is isn’t a fraction of the first Reacher fil,.
80 TRIPLE 9
A perfectly decent airplane movie.
81 THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN
A total disappointment. Nowhere near the standard of Gone Girl..
82 NERVE
This one was about the online dare game, right?
THE PAINFUL (Films that were not enjoyable)
83 TROLLS
A couple of funny musical numbers surrounded by pretty scenery and no plot.
84 HAIL CAESAR
Mediocre and weak by Cohen standards.
85 HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING
Did Tom Hanks need to be in this movie?
86 RAIDERS!
A really cool thing done by really dull people makes for a middle of the pack documentary.
87 PRESCRIPTION THUGS
Interesting material with an irreverent angle.
88 I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD
Interesting guy, but this falls into the “all I needed was a segment on 60 Minutes to get the story…”
89 FINEST HOURS
Good enough to pass the hours. Made me realize I’d like to see more from Casey Affleck.
90 LIGHTS OUT
Not sure why this got could enough review to entice me to watch it.
91 BATMAN: KILLING JOKE
The changes made from the source material were not smart ones.
92 THE LAST MAN ON THE MOON
A decent documentary on the Apollo program more than Gene Cernan.
93 EDDIE THE EAGLE
Rudy but without the charm of Sean Astin.
94 HOW TO BE SINGLE
Passable discount cinema rom com that I picked because it started 15 minutes earlier than the other movie I was considering. .
95 CRIMINAL
Not as good as the usual Kevin Costner mediocre thriller
96 ME BEFORE YOU
ZZZzzzzzzz……
97 BOLT
Felt like a marketing campaign for him
98 VINTAGE TOMORROWS
Fun visuals covering a subculture, but no narrative.
99 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES
As silly as the title suggested
100 ANGRY BIRDS
Five years too late and still not funny.
101 NORM OF THE NORTH
Not as bad as the 8% RT score indicated…shoulda been 18% at least!
102 THE BOSS
Movies directed by Melissa McCarthy’s husband usually stink. He directed this one.
103 THE INFILTRATOR
Cranston even seemed to phone this one in.
104 THE LOVERS AND THE DESPOT
Couldn’t get into it.
105 JASON BOURNE
Shaky, loud, and unnecessary.
106 INDEPENDENCE DAY 2
The premise was interesting but the execution was poor.
107 TARZAN
Dull content but visually compelling…and not just because of Margo Robbie.
108 CHICKEN PEOPLE
No angle to make an uninteresting subject interesting…
THE BOTTOM TEN (The real stinkers of 2016)
109 STORKS
Kelsey Grammar should stick to playing Cranes instead of Storks….
110 HARDCORE HENRY
An interesting concept that would have been interesting as a 4 minute YouTube video.
111 SOMM: INTO THE BOTTLE
None of the charm of the original.
112 DIRTY GRANDPA
A comedy where you laugh at every line and still think the movie stinks.
113 GODS OF EGYPT
Neat concept. Terrible script.
114 THE WITCH
W….T….F???
115 WHERE TO INVADE NEXT
Even when I agree with Michael Moore’s basic POV, I can’t stand watching him explain it.
116 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
The characters from a dumb movie just got dumber.
117 WARCRAFT
I both fell asleep AND left early.
118 BATMAN V SUPERMAN
A missed opportunity. It got worse in my estimation as the year went on. Was it REALLY the worst film of the year, even as it slid? Probably not, but you screw up Batman and Superman’s first big screen matchup, you get some shade thrown your way!
